Boss is in denial that I'm leaving

[Solana]

Here's the story.....

 

I have a rather difficult boss. She likes my work immensely, but she treats me like an idiot (well, she treats everyone that way) and for several months I didn't get the compensation I was supposed to for my job.

 

Well, I decided to take a job somewhere else, much closer to my boyfriend (who lives a couple thousand miles away). The job I've been offered is a dream job for me; I will make significantly more money than I currently do, I will be doing much more interesting work, and I will have many opportunities that I just don't have in my current position.

 

A couple days after Christmas I informed my boss that I planned on leaving prior to the end of my one-year committment to my current position. My boss informed me that it would likely be April before she will be able to find someone, but thanked me for letting her know.

 

That same night I was offered my new job. A couple days later I asked my boss if she had any leads on replacements. She said she was "in communication" with people, but nothing promising. I told her that I'd had a job offer. She was flabbergasted, and proceeded to harangue me about how it was "morally and ethically wrong" for me to be leaving early, despite the fact that I was giving her ridiculous amounts of notice (in my opinion). At that point I listed off all the ways I was not getting what I was supposed to out of the position (including compensation) and told her that I thought she could find someone to cover my current work load much more quickly than we had previously discussed. She agreed to find someone by the end of February.

 

I walked out of her office feeling like such a pushover.... Who needs two months notice to fill my position? Nobody. In my industry people are lucky if they even *get* notice, let alone almost two months of notice.

 

The following day she sat me down and apologized for being so 'reactive' to me, and basically told me she is going to fix my position so that I enjoy it more and get the compensation and education I'm supposed to get. I told her that in the meantime I would be glad to do some hunting on the internet to help her find a replacement for me. She blew me off and said she would basically just hire someone to assist me, as though I was no longer planning on leaving. Then she sort of up and disappeared.

 

Okay..... So yesterday my boss made an offhand comment that I should travel with her to Europe next summer when she goes over on a business trip, because I have never been there. Uh, HELLO?!?!? I won't be here next summer!!! I won't be here in 8 weeks!!

 

My boss is leaving for Europe tomorrow for 12 days. Frankly I'm tired of dealing with her and trying to get the message through. I've also been warned by clients that she a) goes into denial when she doesn't want people to leave and b) will make my life a living hell once it sinks in that I am in fact really leaving.

 

Any thoughts on how to deal with this?

 

I'm currently dwelling on a nice passive-agressive approach involving sending her a bunch of resumes for replacements while she's on vacation. Not nice, but it will get the idea through when she's thousands of miles away and I don't have to deal with the immediate, inevitable explosion (oh yeah, did I mention she has a temper?).

 

Solana.

[Bronzepen]

You have all the leverage. You found a new job.

 

If your boss becomes too difficult then just leave. Get up, collect your things and walk out.

 

No need to put up with her trying to make your life miserable.

 

Your tried the proper protocol for leaving a job but she won't accept it.

 

If she goes balistic again just leave.

[SoleMate]

I agree with Bronzepen. I don't know the nature of the 1 year commitment you made, but even if it were a legally binding contract, your boss's failure to hold up her end with respect to terms and conditions effectively negates the contract. You have done more than needed. I suggest really detaching from the boss and her manipulation, and just finishing out your job as you planned. If she makes it too difficult to do even that, then yes, I would leave even earlier.

 

Congratulations on the great new job. If I were you, I would just focus on that, and I imagine that all the current boss craziness would take on a lot less importance.

 

Jobs have certain similarities to relationships - there are some bosses (SOs) who will take total advantage of you and break all their promises as long as they think you're hooked, but when you tell them you are planning on freedom, then all of a sudden you hear "but I can change" and "you can't leave me because I won't let you!" As if I cared. The time to behave correctly has come, and now it's done gone.

[Pocky]

Write a resignation letter with a set end date. Give a copy to your boss and HR. Enjoy your new job.