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Husband just got fired for stealing


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I can't believe I'm writing this.

 

My husband just got fired this morning for taking a few older phones from work and selling them off on eBay.

 

He was one of the two IT managers at the company, so he had his hands in everything in terms of access and inventory. He didn't think they would miss them because they were already deploying newer ones. He was caught because one of the people he sold a phone to had trouble activating it, so they contacted the carrier, and turned out the phone was registered to the company. This happened last Friday.

 

This morning first thing, HR was on premises and they fired him. He packed up his stuff and they escorted him out of the building.

 

I took the rest of the day off to come home and support him, but he's obviously not in a good state of mind and asked to be left alone. So, instead, here I am writing this.

 

I feel so shocked, and kind of angry, that he jeopardized our livelihood like this. He was fired for cause, so he is not eligible for unemployment. I'm an IT manager as well, and I make a good living, but we will not be able to make ends meet without his income.

 

Has anyone been in this kind of situation before? Does anybody have any kind of advice to offer?

 

Thank you,

 

-A

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So sorry to hear you're going through this. I can't help wondering....your husband is presumably a bright man and he understands this was theft....did he do a rational cost/benefit analysis on this and decide that the expectation value was worth it? Is this in or out of character for him? IT people have so much potential power for good and for evil that it's only to be expected that documented theft would result in termination. Does he understand that he did wrong, and why his employer responded by firing him?

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lollipopspot

Yes, say more about what might cause him to do this. Is he someone who is generally a bit dishonest and sneaky, or is this very out of character? Did he think the phones were just going to be thrown out and it was no big deal? What was the thought process?

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amaysngrace

He sounds like an entitled a-hole.

 

My exH use to rip off his employers too. He never sold the stuff. He kept it for himself.

 

I feel sorry for you because I think you may have married a loser.

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He was fired with cause. Given today's employment climate, and the difficulty even qualified, "laid off" employees have finding jobs, your husband will probably never work again, at least not in that particular field. He could probably find something at the minimum wage level but it sounds like that won't get you too far.

 

It's time to consider that you are in for a huge cost of living change, and you're going to have to buckle down.

 

You can't even divorce him, because he's jobless and you'd end up paying him support.

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Clarence_Boddicker

At least you see his true colors. I'd go off on him. I'd lay down the law on him or give him the boot. Any toys of his would be sold. I'd give him 2 weeks to find a job. Any job would do, even part time. I wouldn't let him laze around a house he's no longer paying for. It's too bad his company is not criminally prosecuting him. Thieves are almost as bad as cheaters are. What other immoral things has he done that you know of?

Edited by Clarence_Boddicker
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Bloody hell, condemnation or what??

 

Yes he did wrong. None of you ever has? Never stolen anything? Course not.

 

Of course you are justified in being angry A. (Very)

 

But this does not make him bad or even a loser come to that.

 

If we don`t get caught then we`re `Jack the lad`

 

But he was collared....

 

Job hunting and a lot of making up to do to you.

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TaraMaiden2

OK, he's been ripped a new one, and so, by default (although unfairly) so have you.

 

You now need to seriously consider the budget.

Do you have two cars?

Sell one. His. Get him a bike.

 

Might you have to take in a lodger to help pay mortgage/rent? Or maybe right now, consider downsizing?

 

Start considering where to buy groceries and household essentials. Down-grade your food choices to 'own-brands' rather than branded goods.

 

Advise the utility companies that your husband has lost his job and you need a better payment plan.

 

Get rid of non-essential luxuries like the multi-channels you may be subscribing to.... Contact your provider and advise them of the situation and ask how you can modify your contract.

 

Cut off your home phone or make it incoming calls only....

 

(I'm speaking from personal experience, here....)

 

He needs to start looking for jobs, this minute.

He wants to be left alone, but he's in danger of wallowing in self-pity.

Don't 'leave him alone' too long.

 

For whatever reasons, (and I know someone suggested investigating any possible motives he had for doing this - but frankly, that's a pointless exercise and a waste of time and energy. It's done now, there's no going back and changing it, and self-analysis won't help that) he brought this on himself. Clearly, he really should have known better.

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Lokin4AReason

well, he got fired and he can not do a thing about it ...

 

tell him to dust off that old resume of his and start looking for a new job ( in emailing it out )

 

and post an ad for employment also

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Depending on the state where you live, have him file for unemployment anyway. If he is still unemployed in six months, it may kick in after that time.

 

Yeah, he screwed up. Time to reassess his future and perhaps go into a different line of work.

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Why does he need you to support him by taking the day off ? what is that about.. he got fired for doing something illegal and got caught.

 

IMO he needs to worry about criminal charges, in my company those would be being filed after they were fired, they are right now figuring out the scope of what he did by comparing inventories etc etc and then should be going to the police.

 

I'm sorry you are having to deal with him, you might want to reconsider your relationship with him as you never know what legal harm he is going to put you in.

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another thing to worry about is that if a criminal investigation is opened up then Ebay will be served a warrant as well as your ISP and to tie him to the account they will also ask them to give up his sales records, and the charges could get worse, depending on the amount and state he may be looking a felony charge.

 

It could take months for the investigation if one is opened up so you won;t know if he is in the clear for quite some time.

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Bloody hell, condemnation or what??

 

Yes he did wrong. None of you ever has? Never stolen anything? Course not.

 

Of course you are justified in being angry A. (Very)

 

But this does not make him bad or even a loser come to that.

 

If we don`t get caught then we`re `Jack the lad`

 

But he was collared....

 

Job hunting and a lot of making up to do to you.

 

Nope, can't say I've ever stolen anything, even as a young child.

 

Condemnation is warranted here. It's also a crime.

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Maybe i put it slightly wrong.

 

I don`t get the character assassination.....

 

He did wrong, fair and square.

 

But he may be a great husband. (I don`t know)

 

He made a mistake and he is paying for it as is A.

 

I hope you both work it out.

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When either adult loses a job, its a time to re-group and proceed forward. Absolutely this is a shock to the financials, Let the ripples come and go. He seems to understand the ramifications and is adult enough that in due time he will get back on the horse to ride another day. You are both adults that when one falls the other can help? Remorse is an empowering thing, He deserves an ally.

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Clarence_Boddicker

OP, do you enjoy chaos & drama? If so, he's your guy. If not, divorce him. Find a decent & normal guy to raise your kids.

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Guys,

 

I've read everything you've posted and I'll post a more thorough response a bit later tonight when I have some private time.

 

For now, let's just say that he totally gets what a dire situation we are in because of his actions.

 

-A

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TaraMaiden2
Guys,

 

I've read everything you've posted and I'll post a more thorough response a bit later tonight when I have some private time.

 

For now, let's just say that he totally gets what a dire situation we are in because of his actions.

 

-A

 

Does he totally get that this could - and should - be the final nail in the coffin of your 'marriage'? Because honestly, I think you have some serious thinking to do, particularly for your child's sake.

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Truly apologize to hear what it is that's going on on your end.

I hope all is well with you and you manage to sustain you and him throughout it all.

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TaraMaiden2
Truly apologize to hear what it is that's going on on your end.

I hope all is well with you and you manage to sustain you and him throughout it all.

 

Why on earth should she do anything to sustain a man who just got himself fired for stealing from his employer?

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I'm sorry he did this to you. Were you even aware he was capable of stealing? I mean, this sort of thing can really be a dealbreaker because it reveals his ethics. How valuable the thing was really doesn't matter. He's unethical enough to steal and try to bite the hand that feeds him. I wouldn't coddle him about it.

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Clarence_Boddicker

That would only happen if he divorced her & got involved with another girl. She's with him for life.

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SycamoreCircle

Jesus, what venom from people...

 

He'll never work again? Please...maybe if he's working in Jamestown settlement.

 

My question is this, so with all that Americans throw away---does that constitute honesty? Sure, what the guy did was wrong. But I argue that in our excess, our wastefulness and throw-away culture, very few people have the right to point fingers at greed.

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SycamoreCircle

If the employers of this man want to fire him, that is their right. He stole from them, I don't dispute that.

 

What I dispute are people who take high moral ground charging that the guy is a loser and unworthy of his wife's support or the trust of a future employer. I charge that our wastefulness is just as culpable as outright greed. I argue that most companies would not be companies if they didn't engage in mind blowing degrees of wastefulness!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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loveweary11

I don't know what the op's course of action should be, but there are so many posts talking about dire financial corrections.

 

Couldn't they just live off a single, 6 digit salary for a bit?

 

If not, they were handling their finances very poorly to begin with.

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