CA20 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Hello, I have a small problem here and I am looking for advice. I work in your typical office environment where everyone knows everyones business, etc...you know how it is...well, anyway, There is a woman here who is very attractive and I would like to ask out to dinner. Well, I don't believe she is seeing anyone, and we occasionally make eye contact and whatnot, and I know that is not anything to hang my hat on as far as if she is interested, but I would like to just simply take her to dinner. Now, for the reason I posted this: she is 33 and I am 25. is that, or should that be a reason to not do it??? I am very self confident in my abilities and such, but the way she carries herself, her age, her looks, everything screams ' out of your league ' I am sure I could do the asking, but I am afraid of all the snoops in the workplace and what type of backlash there could be....her and I rarely if ever talk, minus the occasional ' Hi ' as we pass going to and from someplace here at work....should I ask her up front, email, get someone to relay??? any help would be appreciated. Thanks and I hope everyone has a great day. Link to post Share on other sites
Karen75 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Just ask her out.....YOURSELF. Don't get anyone else involved. Good luck!! K Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 don't date people you work with Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Ca, it sounds to me that if you are thinking of things like email and getting someone else to relay, then she is outta your league. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CA20 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 well, its not so much out of my league, for the email's or getting someone else, its more about privacy. I know the relay thing is dumb if I am worried about privacy, so scratch that. I have no problem asking, but I have seen what can happen when others in the workplace catch even the slightest hint of something going on. so its mainly about keeping it under wraps so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Does your work forbid that you have inter-office relationships? If not, go for it. But definitely ask her yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CA20 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 No, my workplace is open and cool, and does not forbid it, but the people here have no life, so if they even suspect the slightest thing, its like freaking high school..very ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Don't play into their crap. If it works out, keep it on the down-low and NO GOSSIPING about each other! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CA20 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 Thanks! yeah I don't kiss and tell or do the gossip thing. I know she wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by CA20 Thanks! yeah I don't kiss and tell or do the gossip thing. I know she wouldn't. How do you know this if you rarely or never talk with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CA20 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 I don't, its just one of those things I guess you can tell by the way someone carries themselves...I could be totally wrong...however it does not matter anymore....I asked, and found out she is dating a plastic surgeon right now...so, yeah..we wont be eating dinner anytime soon....but I gave it a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
corythosaurus Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Your "league" is what you make it. Take the chance, ask her out for dinner. She says no? then you know. You don't ask her out, you'll never know. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by CA20 however it does not matter anymore....I asked, and found out she is dating a plastic surgeon right now...so, yeah..we wont be eating dinner anytime soon....but I gave it a shot. younger attractive women usually go for looks in a man. older attractive women (> 30) usually go for $$$. This is a case in point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CA20 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 Yep, it appears that is correct. She is over 30, and apparently is looking for the $$$ Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Yep, it appears that is correct. She is over 30, and apparently is looking for the $$$ Obviously. She wouldn't have declined your advances if she really liked the guy or was in love with him. It must be the money otherwise she would have leapt into your arms and realized what a catch you are! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CA20 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 HA HA....yeah yeah.....I am just talking because she said no....but really, I think the real reason may have something to do with the fact she just got out of something and from what I was told its touch and go with this guy she is dating...she said he is real inconsistent with calling and planning things with her, and she really does not care for that obviously, nobody would....so its up in the air as to how long this will last. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Originally posted by CA20 from what I was told its touch and go with this guy she is dating...she said he is real inconsistent with calling and planning things with her, and she really does not care for that obviously, nobody would....so its up in the air as to how long this will last. It will last a long long time man....he is a physician so he is loaded AND he is playing hard to get and being a challenge (most physicans are cause so many women are running after them). You may be waiting 20 yrs so I would find someone else to ask out. Link to post Share on other sites
Allegro Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Here's a thought: Ask her to lunch. A lunch is informal, and yet, a good way to get to know someone. Most lunches last only an hour, so if you find you have nothing in common, you have an easy way out in the fact that you've got to get back to the office. My rule of thumb: don't date coworkers. If you do, be private and discreet about it until the relationship becomes serious--if it does. People DO love to gossip. My coworkers--love them dearly--but they're like a bunch of middle schoolers when it comes to gossip. They latch onto the tiniest rumor and can make a mountain out of molehill in no time. Surely at 25, there are plenty of other women for you to choose from. Link to post Share on other sites
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