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I wrote yesterday that my husband was waiting on, what we thought was a sure thing job offer. He talked with the guy yesterday and the guy said that even though they were really excited about having him come on, that it would be at least 6 months to a year (after they move into their new shop) that they could even think about him coming on. Even then, there's no guarantee.

 

He's currently employed by a large company, and has been for 7 years, but has worked about a total of 2 1/2 months there this year. Early March he just decided he didn't want to go in for weeks as he was unhappy with his job. Then three weeks in he tells me he wants to go to rehab for alcoholism. Okay great. Maybe that will get you motivated. It's another week before he gets a bed at rehab. He is there for 2 weeks and gets out and it is another week before he goes back to work. So there's 7 weeks of not working. He goes back in and they tell him that he didn't cover some of this time off and he explains what happened and thinks it's all taken care of. He works for a few weeks before he is told that he needs to get a doctor's note to cover it or he will be fired due to his 3rd CAM (corrective action memo). He continues working without any repercussions.

 

After about 3 weeks of working (mid-May) he starts not going in again and applying for other jobs. He applies at the one place which I noted above where they see his background and think he'd be great for other positions. He interviews with them on May 15. He doesn't want to go back to work because when he shows up he'll either be fired, have to quit or have to tell them he'll go back to rehab and be on drug free workplace for the next 3 years. So he continues to get FMLA from his doctor while he figures out what to do. All along thinking for sure he's going to get this other job.

 

Well Memorial Day weekend he is in a motorcycle crash at the racetrack and breaks 7 ribs, his scapula and has a bruised lung. Now he can't go back to work for 4-6 weeks.

 

So now what does he do? Get disability for as long as possible and then quit? He can be rehired by the union but at only $15/hr whereas now he's making $38. Plus, why go get hired back at a job he hates for crappy pay? At least work somewhere he likes for crappy pay. Go do the 3 weeks in rehab followed by 8 weeks of outpatient and then return to his same job and the same rate of pay? That will be another 3 months he won't be working and we don't know if we'd have to pay for the rehab out of pocket. Plus he'd be under scrutiny for the next 3 years and if he goofs up, he's fired. Even if he quits within those 3 years, it's considered being fired. Leave the company altogether and just hope he finds a decent job soon?

 

What a mess!

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He should talk to the union and get their advice. He can make excuses of dealing with his alcoholism even if he wasn't in rehab the whole time probably. $15 isn't $38 but lots of people are living on that or less. He should talk to the union and take a cut if necessary.

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He should talk to the union and get their advice. He can make excuses of dealing with his alcoholism even if he wasn't in rehab the whole time probably. $15 isn't $38 but lots of people are living on that or less. He should talk to the union and take a cut if necessary.

 

He's already talked to them. They said they basically can't do anything but rehire him at $15. I mean at $38/hr he STILL can't help with his share of the bills. Of course, he barely goes in and gets a 40 hour week which is the problem too. I need about $1200/month from him (and that's being easy on him) and I get, at best $900, and that's only when he's actually working a full week. I am extremely tired of having to pay the entire monthly mortgage without help from him or the entire phone bill, gas bill, electric bill, utility bill. Can you imagine what him making $15/hr will do? He won't be able to pay for ANYTHING!

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And it irritates me so much that he needs to make all these calls and get things figured out and he doesn't do it. I keep hearing "Tomorrow I'll call" and it doesn't happen. He's home all day but yet finds it too hard to call his work hotline and find out about whether insurance would cover him going into rehab, and what EXACTLY happens if he decides to go back to rehab. He is just assuming all this stuff but won't find out the facts. He needs to get in paperwork to start getting short term disability. He could have been getting it for 3 weeks already, but doesn't fill out the paperwork and send it in. I have all these questions because I want to know what is going to happen and if I keep asking him about it all he does is get mad and say not to nag him. Well this is KIND of important! I check our phone records online throughout the day and see if he's made any calls and there's nothing. I need him to call the IRS and get a problem fixed and since he's home and has nothing better to do, he can sit on the phone and wait for them. Nope. He sat on the phone for 10 minutes waiting and hung up. Well I certainly can't do that from work. He pushes it off saying that he'll talk to our tax guy and find out something and of course doesn't do that.

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I remember your earlier posts and it sounds like your husband hasn't had his act together for some time and it's finally caught up with him. He's really pushed the limits at his job and it's amazing how he has lasted so long there. I would get union advice and go from there, but it sounds like he might have to learn his lesson the hard way. It sounds like he has brought you down with him.

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What a mess!

 

There's that exclamation mark. I was worried there for a minute!

 

Most likely, this isn't a matter of income, it's a matter of spending. So many people insist that they NEED a certain amount of money. Yet, they refuse to consider cutting back on spending.

 

Life is FULL of choices. You can choose to be happy and find a solution, or you can choose to react another way (i.e. complaining and stressing out). It's up to you.

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Is the rehab paid through insurance? If so then it is tied to the job in regards to cost. I would expect, if he leaves the job, that he is paying the complete amount.

 

Why does he need to go back to rehab?

 

How much more FMLA coverage does he have? What was the FMLA coverage for? How extensive are his injuries from the motorcycle accident? Are there any permanent injuries (thus potentially moving him into ADA accommodations).

 

Does he have short term disability? Does he have long term disability? How much of his income is covered by it? (we are capped at 1,000 a week in our policy).

 

Why would he be fired when he showed up to work? Because he didn't produce the doctor's note? They can fire him while on FMLA so it doesn't offer full protection. It takes a little more but it can be done.

 

Honestly, your husband is struggle and I don't know if you can or should continue to cover for him. He may need to hit rock bottom to really see if he can turn his life around. Right now you are just enabling him. Can you figure out a situation where you are just taking care of yourself? Cover your financial needs?

 

He is an adult and must stand and live by his decisions (or indecisions). You can't fix this for him or this will just be a rinse and repeat.

 

Who decided he needed to go to rehab? Was that something he just decided to do?

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You can't fix this for him or this will just be a rinse and repeat.

 

Absolutely....

 

Him you need to let him deal with this without figuring it all out for him, you need to go to ALANON and learn how to take your life back and learn how to love the person and not the Alcoholic.

 

Stop making excuses for his drinking problems and let him deal with the messes he creates from his drinking.

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Is the rehab paid through insurance? If so then it is tied to the job in regards to cost. I would expect, if he leaves the job, that he is paying the complete amount.

 

Why does he need to go back to rehab?

 

How much more FMLA coverage does he have? What was the FMLA coverage for? How extensive are his injuries from the motorcycle accident? Are there any permanent injuries (thus potentially moving him into ADA accommodations).

 

Does he have short term disability? Does he have long term disability? How much of his income is covered by it? (we are capped at 1,000 a week in our policy).

 

Why would he be fired when he showed up to work? Because he didn't produce the doctor's note? They can fire him while on FMLA so it doesn't offer full protection. It takes a little more but it can be done.

 

Honestly, your husband is struggle and I don't know if you can or should continue to cover for him. He may need to hit rock bottom to really see if he can turn his life around. Right now you are just enabling him. Can you figure out a situation where you are just taking care of yourself? Cover your financial needs?

 

He is an adult and must stand and live by his decisions (or indecisions). You can't fix this for him or this will just be a rinse and repeat.

 

Who decided he needed to go to rehab? Was that something he just decided to do?

 

He decided himself to go to rehab back in March. At that time, insurance paid for 2 weeks of it and then he had to leave or pay the rest himself. He was under LOA at that time. There was some sort of mix up between him and his manager and the 2nd level manager about when the leave started. He didn't find this out until he returned to work the following month. He talked to them about it and he thought it was all straightened out but then was told he needed to produce a doctor's note for that week that was unaccounted for (due to the miscommunication) or he'd be fired. It was either be fired or admit he has a drinking problem and go back to rehab to complete the entire 3 weeks AND do an 8 week stint of outpatient before returning to work. Then he is under drug free workplace for the next 3 years. I don't understand either why going back to rehab allows him to keep his job. How does that in any way make up for not being able to produce a doctor's note?? Yet we don't know if rehab would be covered this time and it most certainly wouldn't be covered for the 3 weeks. If that's the case and we need to pay $5000 out of pocket for him to go back simply to keep his job that seems very underhanded by his company. Basically saying he can't work for 3 months until he does all this rehab and you have to find $5000 to pay for the rehab so you can keep your job.

 

His FMLA must be shot by now and he does have short term disability. $300/week.

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He's already talked to them. They said they basically can't do anything but rehire him at $15. I mean at $38/hr he STILL can't help with his share of the bills. Of course, he barely goes in and gets a 40 hour week which is the problem too. I need about $1200/month from him (and that's being easy on him) and I get, at best $900, and that's only when he's actually working a full week. I am extremely tired of having to pay the entire monthly mortgage without help from him or the entire phone bill, gas bill, electric bill, utility bill. Can you imagine what him making $15/hr will do? He won't be able to pay for ANYTHING!

 

So he's contributing about $11,000/year to the household yet he's making almost $80,000/year?? What does he spend his money on?

 

Who's name is on the mortgage?

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He decided himself to go to rehab back in March. At that time, insurance paid for 2 weeks of it and then he had to leave or pay the rest himself. He was under LOA at that time. There was some sort of mix up between him and his manager and the 2nd level manager about when the leave started. He didn't find this out until he returned to work the following month. He talked to them about it and he thought it was all straightened out but then was told he needed to produce a doctor's note for that week that was unaccounted for (due to the miscommunication) or he'd be fired. It was either be fired or admit he has a drinking problem and go back to rehab to complete the entire 3 weeks AND do an 8 week stint of outpatient before returning to work. Then he is under drug free workplace for the next 3 years. I don't understand either why going back to rehab allows him to keep his job. How does that in any way make up for not being able to produce a doctor's note?? Yet we don't know if rehab would be covered this time and it most certainly wouldn't be covered for the 3 weeks. If that's the case and we need to pay $5000 out of pocket for him to go back simply to keep his job that seems very underhanded by his company. Basically saying he can't work for 3 months until he does all this rehab and you have to find $5000 to pay for the rehab so you can keep your job.

 

His FMLA must be shot by now and he does have short term disability. $300/week.

 

Okay but I am confused, his LOA would not be FMLA protected if he didn't have the doctor fill out the paperwork necessary which would have then told the company about the drinking issue. I also am not sure why he would need to continue in rehab to show that it was originally covered? Why can't he produce a doctor's note if he was in rehab? They should be able to fill out the paperwork necessary to make sure it is FMLA covered.

 

Unless they are offering other benefits, the rehab should be offered within your medical benefits. So it isn't the company dictating how long, when, etc. That is up to the doctor that is indicating whether rehab is in patient or out patient. So I am assuming a medical professional told him he needed 3 weeks in and then 8 weeks out?

 

Does he have anything in writing indicating what you have stated above? That doesn't make sense to me. What is he getting short term disability for, the motorcycle accident or alcoholism?

 

To find out if it would be covered, contact the insurance company. He can call the customer service line and they can tell him. Or tell him to talk to the doctor and work with the doctor to work through what is paid, what isn't and any compromises that can happen on pricing.

 

Are you sure outpatient can't be done around working? I am not sure if that is entirely the case. He may need a shorten work schedule but may be able to work during that time.

 

The only thing I can could see with the company mandating alcohol completion is whether he has had an issue on the job with alcohol.

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Clarence_Boddicker

I really wish unions were illegal. They have long since served their purpose & do nothing but harm now. I wish it was required to disclose how much unions increase the costs of goods & services.

 

 

You husband should take personal responsibility for his actions & accept the consequences for them. How about he takes a non union job that doesn't allow their employees to work while drunk or on drugs. Free rehab & he gets the satisfaction of making it on his own, not because he's a paying member of an unfortunately legal protection racket.

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I really wish unions were illegal. They have long since served their purpose & do nothing but harm now. I wish it was required to disclose how much unions increase the costs of goods & services.

 

 

You husband should take personal responsibility for his actions & accept the consequences for them. How about he takes a non union job that doesn't allow their employees to work while drunk or on drugs. Free rehab & he gets the satisfaction of making it on his own, not because he's a paying member of an unfortunately legal protection racket.

 

While I struggle on the union piece I think you are extrapolating a lot from little that was posted. She hasn't said whether or not he drank on the job or did drugs on the job. His addiction may not directly impact his job, we don't know that.

 

The rehab has little to do with the union and more to do with the insurance he has. Now that may have been offered at a level that high because of union negotiations. Not sure of the company, involvement of the union, etc.

 

Our insurance covers rehab and we are not unionized.

 

While unions have become their own business and push to keep their business alive we are also seeing what happens when we do not support unions in the current administration in IL. It is making the hourly workers life much harder.

 

Yes there is abuse in unions and you see with the auto industry what happens when it gets carried away. But the premise of it is vital and you saw, in the 50s with a very strong union force, a more equal workforce on pay and an actual middle class. I don't think that is a coincidence.

 

But nevertheless we don't know if anything that pertains to the OP's story really can say has been benefited by union involvement or not. I am not seeing much outside of maybe the ability of the lower pay position but that isn't necessarily something that the company wouldn't have offered.

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He needs to get to work at $15 an hour because some money is better than none. Plenty of people live on that. Maybe you all need to downscale into a less expensive location or something. If I made $38 an hour, I'd be rich where I live. Where I live $15 an hour is about the norm.

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First of all, $15/hr is not puny – lots of people live quite reasonable on that type of money/salary (sometimes supplement with another spouse salary, but sometimes not). That’s net/bring home about $2,000 a month. Where do you live – a mansion in Beverly Hills? An estate in Connecticut? Okay, $38/hr is better – that’s about $4,800 net a month. Whatever the income is, if you’re having money problems you need to scale back your spending get a part-time job, and tell husband to grab a broom/mop and earn some more money.

 

But that aside, your husband often decides to just not go to work. WTF? Who does he think he is? The union can’t help him and internet forums can’t help this relationship. It's ridiculous. But good luck with everything.

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Lifestyle change. Consider it temporary. Take a breath. One day at a time. Address H's issues with the bottle. Change from and improvement of any setback doesn't happen all at once. It's a day at a time thing.

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Okay but I am confused, his LOA would not be FMLA protected if he didn't have the doctor fill out the paperwork necessary which would have then told the company about the drinking issue. I also am not sure why he would need to continue in rehab to show that it was originally covered? Why can't he produce a doctor's note if he was in rehab? They should be able to fill out the paperwork necessary to make sure it is FMLA covered.

 

Unless they are offering other benefits, the rehab should be offered within your medical benefits. So it isn't the company dictating how long, when, etc. That is up to the doctor that is indicating whether rehab is in patient or out patient. So I am assuming a medical professional told him he needed 3 weeks in and then 8 weeks out?

 

Does he have anything in writing indicating what you have stated above? That doesn't make sense to me. What is he getting short term disability for, the motorcycle accident or alcoholism?

 

To find out if it would be covered, contact the insurance company. He can call the customer service line and they can tell him. Or tell him to talk to the doctor and work with the doctor to work through what is paid, what isn't and any compromises that can happen on pricing.

 

Are you sure outpatient can't be done around working? I am not sure if that is entirely the case. He may need a shorten work schedule but may be able to work during that time.

 

The only thing I can could see with the company mandating alcohol completion is whether he has had an issue on the job with alcohol.

 

 

The point of contention here as to why he is getting his 3rd CAM is because they are saying that there is a week between when he called and told his supervisor he was going to go into treatment and when he actually went into treatment that was not covered. He told his supervisor they may call him in that day or it may be the following week when a bed opened up. His supervisor said he couldn't put him on LOA until he actually got admitted. At that point H asked if he could be put on admin leave until he went in. Manager said he had to ask and that he'd get back to him. About 45 minutes later his manager called him back and said "You're good to go. We'll see you when you get better." Yet then he gets back to work 4 weeks later nd he's getting bombarded by upper management that he wasn't covered. He goes to his manager and the manager admits he said he was covered but the manager's manager won't take that and says that H has to produce a doctors note for that week or get fired or go back to rehab. It makes no sense!

 

 

He never drank or used drugs on the job. He drank at home because he was unhappy. He didn't not go into work because he was hungover, he didn't go in because he was somewhat depressed. He decided to go to rehab all on his own and 2 weeks were covered under insurance. I don't know if it will be covered again this soon and H isn't rushing to call and find out. It must be work mandating that he go for the full 3 weeks and then do 8 weeks of outpatient. Last time he could have done it while going to work but he is saying this time he has to do the 8 weeks before going back to work. then he's under drug-free workplace for three years and is subject to random drug tests.

 

 

The thing is, he hasn't had a drink in nearly 3 months but he has to go back and do this to keep his job! He isn't even having any issues not drinking either. He just quit cold turkey and drinks lots of water and tea and coffee now.

 

And I don't understand if they are going to fire him or tell him he has to do this treatment then why aren't they telling him that? He says as long as he's not at work they can't do anything to him. He used FMLA for the rehab stint then went back to work for about 2 1/2 weeks and since mid May until his accident he managed to get a doctor to keep him on FMLA because he knew that anyday they were going to call him into the office and give him the ultimatum of getting fired or rehab. Now he's on LOA and short term disability for the accident until at least July 2 when he has his next doctor's visit and they decide on whether he's fit to go back to work. I mean he said his manager (new manager since he's been out but used to be his 2nd level manager) called him last week and asked him if he was coming back because his FMLA had run out. Apparently he didn't know about his accident. If he's going to be fired when he comes back then why is his manager asking him if he's coming back and not saying he's fired? I don't understand why he can't be fired while he's out on FMLA or LOA. Why keep him on and pay him the holiday pay for Memorial Day and 4th of July instead of fire him?

 

 

This whole thing makes no sense to me! He won't get fired if he admits he has a problem and goes back to rehab, even though it had nothing to do with drinking on the job and he hasn't had a drink in 3 months. Yet they'll just let him stay employed with the company on LOA or FMLA until he comes back and then they'll fire him rather than sending him a certified letter or calling him??!! At this point, I wonder if it hasn't just all been forgotten!

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I make far less than $38/hour and I pay more than your husband does on monthly bills. This is not an issue of income. He does not handle his money properly.

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I make far less than $38/hour and I pay more than your husband does on monthly bills. This is not an issue of income. He does not handle his money properly.

 

Oh I KNOW he doesn't handle his money properly! He never has! I made $15/hr before I met him and lived very happily because I had so much savings. He's already talking about getting $100 worth of fireworks for the 4th of July! I told him "You aren't working and we have no extra money for anything and you want to get $100 worth of fireworks?!" He sheepishly goes "Well we have to celebrate America right?" Then he tells me he'll need help buying new leathers for his racing because they had to cut those off of him. They cost around $1500 and he expects me to "help" pay for them.

 

 

Along with not handling his money well, they take $270 per paycheck for child support and almost every paycheck has money taken out for collections for something that occurred 15 years ago that they are STILL collecting on. Sometimes they take out up to $500 a check for that if he has a large check. Add to that another $130 a check for the loans from work, $70 for union dues, usually around $80 a check for cafeteria. I mean he COULD come home with nearly $3000 a check every 2 weeks if he didn't have any of this other crap. Yet when all is said and done, when he does work a full paycheck he'll come home with maybe $1600 and then that goes towards credit card bills, student loans and motorcycle crap and within about 5 days he's down to nothing.

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The point of contention here as to why he is getting his 3rd CAM is because they are saying that there is a week between when he called and told his supervisor he was going to go into treatment and when he actually went into treatment that was not covered. He told his supervisor they may call him in that day or it may be the following week when a bed opened up. His supervisor said he couldn't put him on LOA until he actually got admitted. At that point H asked if he could be put on admin leave until he went in. Manager said he had to ask and that he'd get back to him. About 45 minutes later his manager called him back and said "You're good to go. We'll see you when you get better." Yet then he gets back to work 4 weeks later nd he's getting bombarded by upper management that he wasn't covered. He goes to his manager and the manager admits he said he was covered but the manager's manager won't take that and says that H has to produce a doctors note for that week or get fired or go back to rehab. It makes no sense!

 

He doesn't have anything in writing does he? I would still argue this point and if he is terminated then it would be wrongful termination. But it was in the wrong not to work until he was admitted. He had no right to make that executive decision. If he is depressed he needs a doctor to diagnose that and then that would be covered by FMLA. But he does have a manager giving the okay and I would still to that as my arguing point. He got permission and it is an issue between his direct manager and his manager's manager if he was given erroneous information.

 

He never drank or used drugs on the job. He drank at home because he was unhappy. He didn't not go into work because he was hungover, he didn't go in because he was somewhat depressed. He decided to go to rehab all on his own and 2 weeks were covered under insurance. I don't know if it will be covered again this soon and H isn't rushing to call and find out. It must be work mandating that he go for the full 3 weeks and then do 8 weeks of outpatient. Last time he could have done it while going to work but he is saying this time he has to do the 8 weeks before going back to work. then he's under drug-free workplace for three years and is subject to random drug tests.

 

He needs to help himself by calling and starting to answer questions. Right now he is trying to hide and that will not help him. Also he needs to get, in writing, what work is mandating. If he has a union environment then they have HR and HR is running the benefits/FMLA process. He needs to talk to them for assistance with this whole issue.

 

The thing is, he hasn't had a drink in nearly 3 months but he has to go back and do this to keep his job! He isn't even having any issues not drinking either. He just quit cold turkey and drinks lots of water and tea and coffee now.

 

Drinking isn't just about drinking. It is about resolving the underlining issues that allowed it to be used as a coping mechanism. He could be a dry drunk right now; he isn't drinking but hasn't changed/addressed any of the unhealthy coping mechanisms and thinking process.

 

And I don't understand if they are going to fire him or tell him he has to do this treatment then why aren't they telling him that? He says as long as he's not at work they can't do anything to him. He used FMLA for the rehab stint then went back to work for about 2 1/2 weeks and since mid May until his accident he managed to get a doctor to keep him on FMLA because he knew that anyday they were going to call him into the office and give him the ultimatum of getting fired or rehab. Now he's on LOA and short term disability for the accident until at least July 2 when he has his next doctor's visit and they decide on whether he's fit to go back to work. I mean he said his manager (new manager since he's been out but used to be his 2nd level manager) called him last week and asked him if he was coming back because his FMLA had run out. Apparently he didn't know about his accident. If he's going to be fired when he comes back then why is his manager asking him if he's coming back and not saying he's fired? I don't understand why he can't be fired while he's out on FMLA or LOA. Why keep him on and pay him the holiday pay for Memorial Day and 4th of July instead of fire him?

 

FMLA will run out. You have 12 weeks, either continuous or not for the year. And so any other issues that crop up are not covered. So the accident may not be covered fully under FMLA because he has exhausted the time. And he is very wrong that they can't terminate him while out on FMLA. He is hiding and it is under false information. They may be hoping he just quits and could be waiting him out on that. But they are building a case against him and he is doing nothing to protect himself. He should be contacting HR, he should be getting things in writing, and he should be proactive in doing whatever he can do to show he is willing and able to work. But that is not what he seems to be doing and being a passenger in his life is going to cost him his job.

 

This whole thing makes no sense to me! He won't get fired if he admits he has a problem and goes back to rehab, even though it had nothing to do with drinking on the job and he hasn't had a drink in 3 months. Yet they'll just let him stay employed with the company on LOA or FMLA until he comes back and then they'll fire him rather than sending him a certified letter or calling him??!! At this point, I wonder if it hasn't just all been forgotten!

 

Again, if FMLA runs out then even if he admits to having an alcohol problem does not mean that his additional time out will be protected. They could give him an additional LOA but not necessarily. They can deny him the time.

 

It sounds more like they suspect him of lying and they are tightening the noose on him. I am questioning why they aren't sending anything but is that what he is saying or do you know they said that?

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He doesn't have anything in writing does he? I would still argue this point and if he is terminated then it would be wrongful termination. But it was in the wrong not to work until he was admitted. He had no right to make that executive decision. If he is depressed he needs a doctor to diagnose that and then that would be covered by FMLA. But he does have a manager giving the okay and I would still to that as my arguing point. He got permission and it is an issue between his direct manager and his manager's manager if he was given erroneous information.

 

No, he doesn't have anything in writing. But he had the union and the HR rep in a meeting with the manager and the manager said he okayed him to be off that week, but it is the 2nd level one that isn't budging on it, no matter what HR and the union says. This week that's in contention was the last week of March and here we are almost 3 months later and nothing has been done about it. Quite honestly, I am so confused on the chain of events because he said they had to make the decision by May 2. On May 3 I asked him what decision was made and he said he didn't know because that was the date when HR had to make some kind of decision and then there was a week that that had to process and then management made their decision on what to do with him after that. He was then told by his manager that the 2nd level wanted to go through with giving him the ultimatum.Then he spent the next week saying that they could approach him at any time and they never did. Then he just didn't go into work for 2 1/2 weeks under more FMLA saying he needed time to figure out what he was going to do because they can't do anything while he's out and then had the accident.

 

He needs to help himself by calling and starting to answer questions. Right now he is trying to hide and that will not help him. Also he needs to get, in writing, what work is mandating. If he has a union environment then they have HR and HR is running the benefits/FMLA process. He needs to talk to them for assistance with this whole issue.
Like I said, he's dealt with the union and they can only do so much for him.

 

FMLA will run out. You have 12 weeks, either continuous or not for the year. And so any other issues that crop up are not covered. So the accident may not be covered fully under FMLA because he has exhausted the time. And he is very wrong that they can't terminate him while out on FMLA. He is hiding and it is under false information. They may be hoping he just quits and could be waiting him out on that. But they are building a case against him and he is doing nothing to protect himself. He should be contacting HR, he should be getting things in writing, and he should be proactive in doing whatever he can do to show he is willing and able to work. But that is not what he seems to be doing and being a passenger in his life is going to cost him his job.

The guy must have his FMLA used up for the year. He has literally worked about 2 1/2 months all year. There's hasn't been much but maybe 2 weeks he's worked since early March. He isn't using FMLA for his accident, he is on a LOA and getting short term disability. So even though he may have been hiding under false info before, he is now truthfully not able to work.

 

 

It sounds more like they suspect him of lying and they are tightening the noose on him. I am questioning why they aren't sending anything but is that what he is saying or do you know they said that?
I am getting all my info from him. But I mean he is still employed by them as I can log into his work account. His manager called him last Tuesday asking if he was coming back to work since his FMLA was over, not knowing about him having this accident. He never said a word about him being fired. No paperwork has been sent to the house. If anything, I would think they would send a certified letter saying what was up. If a decision was supposed to be made in early to mid May and it is now mid June, then why is management not doing anything about it regardless of him being on FMLA or LOA? He has spoken with the work hotline regarding insurance and benefits and he has to give his ID number and he does and they give him the info. He is getting holiday pay and disability pay so why pay him that rather than fire him?? If you want to get rid of someone, you get rid of them. You don't wait for 2 months until he returns to work!

 

I wish I could actually speak to someone there about what is going on because H doesn't give me details or he just confuses me and if I continue to ask questions about it he just gets agitated. I would like to find out why there is this ultimatum of either being fired or returning to rehab to keep his job, why no decision has been made, does insurance cover rehab, etc but I can't because I'm not him! Then he says to me over the weekend maybe I should just call up my manager (who he talked to last Tuesday) and see if they still plan on firing me. Yes, why don't you do that! Why didn't you ask that when you were on the phone with him last week?!

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Oh..... Pls disregard my previous post. :o

 

 

 

 

Whew, you're right, what a mess! Well, after reading all of that, I can say some things coming from a somewhat educated background in getting a health / life insurance license at the beginning of the year, so have been taught some of this. That said, I have not been appointed in health yet, so those lessons have been slowly seeping out of my brain from lack of use.

 

First, the company cannot dictate how much inpatient / outpatient treatment someone gets. An insurance policy can stipulate what will be paid for, and sometimes (usually) the treatment centers will try to go by the insurance policy so they get paid. I mean, all other things being equal. If there's a really good reason to do differently, they will. The company is not medically qualified to make health decisions and can you imagine the law suit if they made one and it was incorrect? No, they have to follow Doctors rules.

 

Second, the only reason he isn't fired yet is because he's union. There are strict rules to follow firing a union employee and his company has staff specifically designed to know these rules and follow them. You can rest assured that when they can fire him, they will.

 

Third, yes, alcoholism can lead to depression and cause him to not go to work. He doesn't need to "drink on the job" for it to affect his work, it already has. You two are lucky he's still "working" because if he wasn't union, he would have been fired immediately. Alcoholism, though a very real and permeating problem in society is not really considered a disability. Whether it's paid for by disability insurance depends on the quality of the coverage. It seems his current employer has good coverage.

 

Fourth, if he quits and goes to work for a new company, he will have a "probationary period" where any pre-existing conditions will not be covered. Meaning, any rehab will be out of your pockets completely.

 

Fifth, he has been making $38/hr for how long and yet past bills are not paid off? Wow! He has credit card debt too?

 

Okay, this is getting WAY too personal for me. My wife divorced me because of financial problems and I'll be damned if I help another woman divorce her husband for that reason. If you love him; I mean really love him, you will talk to him, work together, help him through his alcoholism problem and make this work no matter what. You, Mapper, will figure out how to make it work and trust me when I say this, your love will help him a lot! If you don't, then leave him and turn your back forever and don't watch as he self destructs.

 

I'm certainly not condoning alcoholism nor am I condoning living with it like it doesn't exist, but I am promoting love and what it can conquer. I truly hope you two can figure this out because not only is it a mess, it's a damned ugly mess. I do think one thing is almost certain though, and that is that this job will slowly fade away...as quickly as the powers that be can make it. My suggestion in the future: Don't tell work anything they don't need to know and don't tell insurance companies anything they don't need to know! You two would be better off if they just thought he took some time off to go on a killing spree or something. Good luck!

 

Ken

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Oh..... Pls disregard my previous post. :o

 

 

 

 

Whew, you're right, what a mess! Well, after reading all of that, I can say some things coming from a somewhat educated background in getting a health / life insurance license at the beginning of the year, so have been taught some of this. That said, I have not been appointed in health yet, so those lessons have been slowly seeping out of my brain from lack of use.

 

First, the company cannot dictate how much inpatient / outpatient treatment someone gets. An insurance policy can stipulate what will be paid for, and sometimes (usually) the treatment centers will try to go by the insurance policy so they get paid. I mean, all other things being equal. If there's a really good reason to do differently, they will. The company is not medically qualified to make health decisions and can you imagine the law suit if they made one and it was incorrect? No, they have to follow Doctors rules.

 

Second, the only reason he isn't fired yet is because he's union. There are strict rules to follow firing a union employee and his company has staff specifically designed to know these rules and follow them. You can rest assured that when they can fire him, they will.

 

Third, yes, alcoholism can lead to depression and cause him to not go to work. He doesn't need to "drink on the job" for it to affect his work, it already has. You two are lucky he's still "working" because if he wasn't union, he would have been fired immediately. Alcoholism, though a very real and permeating problem in society is not really considered a disability. Whether it's paid for by disability insurance depends on the quality of the coverage. It seems his current employer has good coverage.

 

Fourth, if he quits and goes to work for a new company, he will have a "probationary period" where any pre-existing conditions will not be covered. Meaning, any rehab will be out of your pockets completely.

 

Fifth, he has been making $38/hr for how long and yet past bills are not paid off? Wow! He has credit card debt too?

 

Okay, this is getting WAY too personal for me. My wife divorced me because of financial problems and I'll be damned if I help another woman divorce her husband for that reason. If you love him; I mean really love him, you will talk to him, work together, help him through his alcoholism problem and make this work no matter what. You, Mapper, will figure out how to make it work and trust me when I say this, your love will help him a lot! If you don't, then leave him and turn your back forever and don't watch as he self destructs.

 

I'm certainly not condoning alcoholism nor am I condoning living with it like it doesn't exist, but I am promoting love and what it can conquer. I truly hope you two can figure this out because not only is it a mess, it's a damned ugly mess. I do think one thing is almost certain though, and that is that this job will slowly fade away...as quickly as the powers that be can make it. My suggestion in the future: Don't tell work anything they don't need to know and don't tell insurance companies anything they don't need to know! You two would be better off if they just thought he took some time off to go on a killing spree or something. Good luck!

 

Ken

 

I wanted to highlight this one part as this isn't true. Pre-existing conditions are now covered under the ACA and are not able to be put on a probationary period. So the only factor on if they would cover it is is if it was a benefit under their medical plan and when he would qualify to join it (which cannot be any longer than 90 days again due to the ACA).

 

And I disagree one is required to "make it work no matter what". It takes two people and if things are so one sided it is absolutely in the other person's best interest to cut ways. If the other side is not picking up their end and giving anything back how long do they think they can depend on their spouse and how much do they think their spouse should shoulder. There are tipping points and the the other party should not be shamed into finally doing something in their best interest.

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Mappers, I struggle advising any farther since you aren't able to get first hand information. I still suspect they are waiting him out to see if he will make it easy for them and quit or if they need to terminate him. Since his FMLA just ran out in the past couple weeks I would say expect some contact in the next few weeks.

 

Regardless he is trying to stick his head in the ground and ignore the trainwreck that is just around the corner. He is not looking out for you, your family or his own best interest. And actually why I think further rehab is warranted. He does not sound like his underlying issues have been addressed at all. He is still massively conflict avoiding.

 

I am terribly sorry you are in this position. I would prepare for his termination in the next 30 days. I am struggling to see any other direction. Even protected from a union, this is ridiculous and management will be fighting to cut ties.

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I wanted to highlight this one part as this isn't true. Pre-existing conditions are now covered under the ACA and are not able to be put on a probationary period. So the only factor on if they would cover it is is if it was a benefit under their medical plan and when he would qualify to join it (which cannot be any longer than 90 days again due to the ACA).

 

And I disagree one is required to "make it work no matter what". It takes two people and if things are so one sided it is absolutely in the other person's best interest to cut ways. If the other side is not picking up their end and giving anything back how long do they think they can depend on their spouse and how much do they think their spouse should shoulder. There are tipping points and the the other party should not be shamed into finally doing something in their best interest.

 

Actually, if he leaves his job or is fired then we will just switch over to my insurance. I have already spoken with HR regarding his pre-existing condition and they said it would be covered. The only problem with switching over to my insurance is that it will cost me hundreds more a month than what he is paying now. He pays about $80/month for us now and if we go to mine it will be around $450/month!

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