rockstarmusician Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 I work in a college office and you know, I'm elected, etc. Anyway, one of the members was just having a really bad day and I thought it would be nice to get him a "just because" card. Well, the staff in the office all signed it and when I got to one of them, he said, "I heard that you were doing this. I don't believe in catering to (so and so)." etc. He's like, "I'm just signing my name, and that's it". Personally, I thought that was very rude. Actually, extremely rude. His personality is just that, he's very arrogant and up on himself. Anyway, all he did was just signed his name. That's it. I wanted to kick him for saying something like that. I was doing this out of my heart and I was insulted by his remarks. So I guess doing a good thing for someone else is just not appreciated anymore, is it??? Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 I dare say it wouldn't be appreciated by someone like him! Don't let that nimrod get to you - that was a wonderful thing you did!!! Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Be sure you get everyone a "just because" card. I don't think that's really necessary in an office either... you draw attention to that guys bad day and make him look like he's getting special treatment, like he's a weiny, etc. Maybe you have a really small close office, okay, but I would think that your good will is better expressed with a personal gift made only from you. A lot of those office cards are sort of pressured on people - not saying you pressured anyone, but something like that would probably piss me off, too. Call me a d1ck if you want, but everyone has bad days and most people keep them to themselves. I think something like that is better to handle one-on-one. I think you should take him to lunch next time or get him a personal card instead of ask people who he's not even friends with to sign. It just strikes me as tacky, but then, I don't know your office atmosphere - just my opinion from what you did say. Link to post Share on other sites
JackieQ Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 oh yeah...there's one in every office. compassion is still appreciated by the rest of us. I'd blow it off. Maybe even feel sorry for him if he's that arrogant that he can't get past himself. Link to post Share on other sites
shadis Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 You wanted to get one worker a card, just because that worker was having a "bad day"? I would not have wanted to sign it, either, as I have my own crud going on. I think that idea is rather harsh to enforce upon the rest of the workers. You cannot possibly expect something silly like that to be mandatory. Personally, I think you are lucky that this particular employee did not really let you have what could have been coming to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rockstarmusician Posted December 2, 2004 Author Share Posted December 2, 2004 Apparently a couple of you do not understand what compassion truly means. I guess we've got a few arrogant people around here too. You don't know the background to the whole story. If he was just having a "bad day" then I wouldn't have bothered, but there was a extremely huge reason why. Maybe think before you type. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Apparently a couple of you do not understand what compassion truly means. So "compassion" to you means everyone should sign your card? That's the meaning of compassion? Last time I looked, that wasn't what compassion meant. I guess we've got a few arrogant people around here too. Big leap: from not wanting to sign your little card to being arrogant and having no compassion. Maybe some people just want to have the choice whether, when, where and how to express their concern. You don't get to set everyone else's agenda for them. If you want to give a card, then you give it. Someone didn't want to sign it, and you took the time to put your judgment on them and then to write bad things about them here. Now you're judging others for thinking they'd prefer to express their compassion their own way. You are the arrogant one. Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 It does make things a bit tough to digest when one doesn't know the whole story, or the point that was to be made didn't get put across quite right. But what can one say really? I'm guessing this was just something you wanted to get off your chest. Magda had an interesting idea, though. Why not send each person in the office a card - just pick a different person each time on a random day. You may end up making that person's day! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Originally posted by rockstarmusician but there was a extremely huge reason why. Maybe think before you type. Then you should tell us that reason so that we can form an opinion. I wouldn't want to sign the card either, based solely on what you've said thus far -- but you've even said for yourself, you failed to tell us this extremely huge reason why. Based on the story you told, it does seem like you're catering to the other coworker's needs. I don't like that, I think it's cheesy. I work in a small office and we are VERY tight-knit. I can't imagine sending one of them a card for having a bad day. But that's just my opinion. If you'd like to fill us in on the REST of the story, then please feel free to do so. Just give us a chance to form an opinion based on the facts, not half the facts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rockstarmusician Posted December 2, 2004 Author Share Posted December 2, 2004 Well, sorry, but I'm not allowed to say. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Well then lay off the replies. If you can't enlighten us with all the info, how can we form an *informed* opinion? You can't give us all the info on the sitchie, so my post stands as is - I wouldn't want to sign the card either. I'm not there to cater, I'm there to get a job done. Link to post Share on other sites
Elmo Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Well, it IS rather difficult to comment when we don't know why the co-worker was "having a bad day". If he just got diagnosed with cancer...um...guess even "old sourpuss" would have signed the card, with best wishes. However, I'll reply to the more general topic of cards being circulated at work. It can, and does get ridiculous. I've always thought a personal card is much more appreciated than one that people are forced to sign. I had a friend that actually went out and bought a special date/time stamp with different salutations on the wheels. So, it was rude, but funny...he would turn the wheel to HAPPY BIRTHDAY, June 3, 1999 or CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BABY December 14, 2001...the stamp also had his signature on it. All would be planted on the card, in bright red ink. Rude, yes. Funny, yes. Made a point, too. Oh, and the money grabbing cards are horrid! I mean, who cares if Betsy, the dingy receptionist, is preggers with her 4th child by a 4th man. Her bad choice, and no I don't want to buy it diapers. Guess I go into the not terribly compassionate category. Still, I'm the first one to buy a b'day cake for a friend in the office... for everyone to enjoy...so I'm schizo on this topic. I think if YOU want to do something nice, YOU do it. Don't assume everyone else feels the same toward the person as you do. I also think it is unprofessional, IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Originally posted by Elmo Guess I go into the not terribly compassionate category. Still, I'm the first one to buy a b'day cake for a friend in the office... for everyone to enjoy...so I'm schizo on this topic. I think if YOU want to do something nice, YOU do it. Don't assume everyone else feels the same toward the person as you do. I also think it is unprofessional, IMHO. I agree with Elmo. Link to post Share on other sites
Elmo Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Originally posted by blind_otter I agree with Elmo. Hey Blind Otter... How's that behbe doing? I just went shopping for a little girl of a friend of mine. The baby is 2 months old and I could not figure out if I should get the 3 or the 6 months old gear. I know you think I was being an a-hole in our other communication...I might have been. Let's call a truce. Let's call a truce with me wishing you the very best. Elmo Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 It's best to privately exchange cards or gifts. I'm fine with sympathy/birthday/Christmas cards, but at some places the card giving and donations do get out of hand. It's a workplace, not everyone there is best friends or feels comfortable signing cards for people they don't know well. It's a nice gesture to give someone a card, but doing so publicly for only certain person(s) isn't appropriate, sometimes it can be misconstrued as favortism. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Originally posted by JackieQ oh yeah...there's one in every office. compassion is still appreciated by the rest of us. I'd blow it off. Maybe even feel sorry for him if he's that arrogant that he can't get past himself. There is definitely one in every office!!! Ours is right next to my office She criticizes everything. For our Thanksgiving dinner she said she did not want to join us because we do not stimulate her brain!!!!!! She always throws it in our face that she is the only "Paralegal" in the firm......good for her ....... I'm going to major in Law to be an attorney. Sorry, this just got me started Link to post Share on other sites
Honesty Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 not everyone has to be so nice like you and so quick to help others. you yourself are being inconsiderate. why do you expect everyone to sign it? it was not his idea, it was yours. if he would have felt like that was called for he would have sent him a card on his own. it has to come from the heart and obviously it did not come from his heart, why make him? furthermore, you are not there to send -just because cards-, you are there to work. if your friend was filling so down you should have done something for him (JUST YOU). i think it's very juvenile to expect others to have the same feelings as you. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 I'm with elmo, morrigan, johan, and basically everybody else who says that personal cards should be sent by people voluntarily. Sure, the original anti-card person was being a bit cranky, but on the other hand, he was being put in a difficult position - either be forced to endorse a sentiment that was not his own, or look like a hostile twerp. So he chose an intermediate path... It would have been better if he had just declined politely, possibly with some ambiguous excuse. But you know, he might have been having a bad day too. I guess I'll save my compassion for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rockstarmusician Posted December 3, 2004 Author Share Posted December 3, 2004 Oh by the way, I gave the card to him this morning. He loved it. That's all that matters to me. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by rockstarmusician Oh by the way, I gave the card to him this morning. He loved it. That's all that matters to me. Good, now you should be able to get back to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Honesty Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 that was a good one tiki Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 There's one particular person at my job who I cannot stand. I can only imagine someone shoving a card in my face and telling me to sign it. What would I write? "Hope you get fired so I don't have to cover your butt on a constant basis! Love, me" Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 I work in a very small office where we all are close and feel like family. I can understand why you bought this person a card - because you thought it was the right and nice thing to do. You may not have seen the "down side" to doing it, and I probably wouldn't have either. I guess you and I have both learned something here. I'm not sure it's a "good" thing, but it WAS a learning thing about human nature. lil Honey Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by rockstarmusician Well, sorry, but I'm not allowed to say. Must be a really bizarre situation. You can tell everyone he works with, but can't even give us, a bunch of strangers, a vague reason so to justify your action. Or did no one in your office even know why they were signing? Eh, wut-ev. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted December 3, 2004 Share Posted December 3, 2004 Originally posted by magda Must be a really bizarre situation. You can tell everyone in the office, but can't even give us a vague reason so to justify your action. Or did no one in your office even know why they were signing? Eh, wut-ev. That's a good point Magda Link to post Share on other sites
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