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Let go over the phone without warning...now what?


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Hi LS, you've all been great so far. But I have a new dilemma...

 

I was laid off in the beginning of January and got a new job at a small business. I was working directly with this mother-daughter team (we had two bosses above us that we didn't really see). The mom was in charge of hiring and everything and hired her daughter a few months before.

 

After my first day of work there, they weren't very approachable and came off as very snobby and like they had their own personal agenda. For instance, I came into work my second day and nobody even remotely acknowledged me when I said good morning. I'd try to join in or make conversation to no avail. Just things like that. However, I still thought things were going well. They were never exactly nasty to me, but they had a way about them that made me uneasy.

 

It's a small town and I didn't know them personally, but we have a lot of mutual connections.

 

Wednesday, a family friend came in and we had a nice lighthearted conversation until his business was done and he left. After this, the daughter came up to me, angry, and talked all of this crap about how crazy that guy is and that she used to live with him, etc. I didn't really know what to say, because it's personal drama and not my problem. I think I just said I'm sorry to hear that happened, or something along those lines. She barely spoke to me the rest of the day and was really short with me.

 

Our servers went down about halfway through the day, and the mom told me to leave early because there wasn't much we could do and it was just another body standing around. I said I could stay numerous times (because that has nothing to do with my position), and she told me to go. That gave me a weird vibe.

 

Yesterday, my day off, she called me right before they closed telling me I didn't have to come in anymore because it "wasn't working out." I was kind of ticked off but politely asked her why. She didn't really have a good reason, kind of stumbled over her words and said they needed someone "more secure in the position." I'm not sure what that means in this case. I was there to stay and I don't need any time off. I didn't understand. THEN she says, exactly, "a couple of mistakes have been made and it's like you were just blowing it off." Well IF this happened nobody pointed out I did anything wrong. Isn't that what you do, rectify the issue and make sure it doesn't happen again? I'm sure if I made that severe of a mistake, they would've told me. I'd only been there a few weeks. I wasn't even trained on anything in which making a mistake caused a major problem.

 

This isn't even the first time this has happened to me. Years ago at another job I was let go shortly after the operations manager found out that our co-worker she wanted to get with had a crush on me. I'm sick of all of this drama, I don't want to have to look for work farther away but I feel I might have to now. It's too small of a world. I'm pretty reserved, quiet, and I'd like to think professional in the workplace. I never have problems with anybody. But it seems like someone always has an issue with me.

 

What do I even put on my resume at this point, in regards to reason I left (some places ask if you were let go and why)? It just won't look good. I know about employment at will and they can let you go for no reason if they see fit. But that still doesn't help me here... Does anyone have any input? Thanks for reading.

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Well, not sure if this was a retail store, but if not, why would you have friends popping in to where you just started a new job? Obviously, she felt he used you to finagle his way in and she has probably been trying to get him to leave her alone forever, so she's not taking any chances on having you feed him info about her. i realize that't not what you are up to, but she doesn't know that and it's a pretty huge coincidence.

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It was a doctor's office (I just did desk work) and he was already a patient there, so I wasn't just having my friends stop in. There's no way I could even do that and that would be extremely unprofessional especially considering the environment. You need an appointment and have to see the doctor. That's that.

 

We don't even know each other very well, just know each other through my mom, and it was just trivial conversation about how he likes my mom and thinks she's nice. I didn't even recognize this guy at first, he could tell I didn't know who he was so he had to remind me.

 

My other friend who knows the family called me after I told her they let me go with all of these stories about how crazy they are and the family is nothing but a bunch of snobby white trash and drug using tramps...and the parents have done nothing except wipe their degenerate grown children's a**es for 35+ years. But true or not that is neither here nor there because I had no real connection to these people and it's not my drama...and I have no idea why I was let go. I think she was just trying to make me feel better in the moment.

 

I have no idea what to say when asked why I left my previous job or why I was let go.

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Pardon, but what ever happened to simply telling the truth. The "Owner" felt it wasn't a good fit. And leave it at that when asked. because based on your post here, even you are questionings why you were let go and given that answer.

 

If you want to stop drama, stop listening to it or being in it. Your friend may find a lawsuit from making slanderous comments....

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Thanks, Tayla. I suppose that's what I will have to do. I just feel as if it makes me look bad no matter what I say. But honesty doesn't hurt because that's what happened.

 

I don't want to be caught up in all of the drama. I had no idea so many people had issues with each other, but that's not even what this is about...thankfully everyone has shut up about it! I don't want it to become my problem!

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Probably the tipping point of firing you was the emotional outburst of the daughter.

 

You never mentioned this, but are you female ?

If so ... were you in better relations with the staff than the 2 of them ?

Were you more attractive then either of them ?

Was their husbands/relatives working there too ?

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Yes, I'm female. Nobody else worked there, just us (the mom, daughter and I) and the two male doctors who seemed to like me very much. Like I said, for some reason they were never particularly friendly or approachable to me. I have no idea why...that was from the second day I worked there.

 

Also, it might be important to note that she (the mom) had asked me numerous times over the past few weeks if I liked the job and I thought it was something I was capable of doing. Because they've had people in the past that "quit after a couple of weeks because it wasn't what they thought." I said of course...even though they'd barely taught me the basics, so I thought it was a ridiculous question and I felt as if they wanted me to quit. They've needed another person in the office for a long time so I feel as if I'm not the first one this has happened to.

 

I feel like there's no way to be acceptable to these people because they will always be a third wheel to this mother daughter team.

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Years ago I applied for a position in a vet's clinic working in reception. The vet that interviewed me seemed to like me and the interview went very well. At the end he asked me to come in for a 1/2 day to get a feel for the job and to meet the other ladies working in the front. He said that I would have to be a good fit for these other women. It sounded like he was leaving the decision up to them.

 

 

I eagerly went in for my 1/2 day and from the moment I walked in the front door the other 2 women doing the office/reception work were openly hostile to me. They wouldn't show me how to do anything or give me any direction, they would roll their eyes at my questions and they outright ignored my attempts to be friendly. They were both considerably older than me and for whatever reason, they just didn't like me. At the end of the morning the vet who interviewed me said he would be in touch in a few days. He never called me back and I never followed up because I had no interest in working in such an unfriendly hostile environment. Clearly that job wasn't the one for me.

 

 

There isn't much you can do in this situation other than be happy you don't have to work in that uncomfortable atmosphere anymore. If you were only there for a few weeks I wouldn't bother even putting the job on your resume or mentioning it in interviews. Treat the whole job like it never even existed. It doesn't sound like it was a happy environment for you and since we spend so many hours every day at work it's important to feel welcome and wanted at your workplace. There is something better for you out there.

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Sorry to hear about what happened. I have had this happen to me at a few positions recently as well. I agree with Tayla. Nothing sounds wrong with saying they didn't feel it was a good fit. For me when I was let go, they exited bankruptcy the same day, so I used that card. It is unfortunate that you can be fired for anything nowadays. You'll find something better. It sounds like they had high turnover too...

Edited by pink_sugar
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It's such a terrible feeling isn't it?! It's not fair, but I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Looking back it does seem like they had high turnover. I'm sure I will find something better :) it IS most definitely important to feel some type of welcomed in the work place. I know work is work, but come on....it doesn't cost people anything to be nice.

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OP, you never mentioned if you were more attractive then them.

 

But be sure that the doctors [male] liking you played a big factor in their decision.

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I can't really be the judge of that...I feel I'm an attractive person but I'd feel full of myself to say I'm really good looking. I mean I'm in my 20s and at least 10 years younger than the daughter, and the mother is in her 60s so I'm not sure that even matters because of the huge age difference.

 

When they hired me they said I was everything they were looking for, out of everyone they interviewed (can they even say that?) anyway, I do think you're right. Unfortunately I didn't pay enough attention to pick up on anything in particular. Just that they weren't cordial.

 

They also refused to teach me new things when I asked; and similar to what another poster said, when I asked questions they didn't ignore me but seemed to twist their answer into something belittling or to make me "wrong" or feel stupid. It just seems so foolish to act this way right from the beginning and waste my time as well as theirs since they clearly weren't trying to train or treat me like an employee.

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A couple of yrs ago there was a study done in Israel about employment and chances of getting the job that found 2 very interesting things; when all things were equal :

- attractive female had less chances of getting the job

- attractive male had more chances of landing the job

 

Other things also showed up but the above is what's relevant to this thread.

The discrepancy was traced to the fact that HR departments are dominated by women and they did not want 'competition' there.

Now, this does not mean that the water cooler they all got together and decided this ... it's instinctual.

 

And this is probably what happened here too.

Other factors also played a part :

- were the doctors single ?

- was the daughter single ?

- what class do the daughter/mother come from ?

 

Just look at the daughter's reaction to that individual chatting with you; her reaction was pure damage control.

And firing you was probably 'competition' mixed with 'damage control'.

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- were the doctors single ?

- was the daughter single ?

- what class do the daughter/mother come from ?

 

Just look at the daughter's reaction to that individual chatting with you; her reaction was pure damage control.

And firing you was probably 'competition' mixed with 'damage control'.

 

The older doctor (early 40s) is a divorcee, and the younger one is engaged.

 

I'm honestly not sure if the daughter was single, she never spoke of any boyfriend. But some people don't talk about that stuff at work.

 

Pretty sure they come from the same class I do, middle/upper-middle class. Actually, I think they live up the street from me...

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