Intrepidcaribou Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 He is very quiet and generally only speaks when it's necessary, though sometimes he'll chat with some of the older women on staff about parenting etc. He's at a totally different stage of his life than me. He's married with two kids and about 35 and I'm 28 and single. Sometimes he'll very tersely come over to my desk and ask a question. I even bumped into him at the grocery store last weekend and he barely acknowledged me. He isn't rude per se, but he isn't nice either. I can't seem to figure out if I've offended him. I'm good friends with everyone else in my department. I'm also the youngest and newest person there. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWoman911 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Well if you said that he's very quiet and only speaks when it's necessary, it could just be his character. He's probably isn't an interactive person and possibly like to stay to himself. Some people come to work to do their job and not say much to people. But also, have you ever said anything mean or disrespectful about him? Because he could've heard it from somebody within the department. You mentioned that you hope you didn't do anything to offend him. Have you done something to him that may have caused him to be distant towards you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intrepidcaribou Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) But also, have you ever said anything mean or disrespectful about him? Because he could've heard it from somebody within the department. You mentioned that you hope you didn't do anything to offend him. Have you done something to him that may have caused him to be distant towards you? I have never said anything to him beyond "yes" "no" "thank you" "I was wondering if you would be able to send me over those mining stats?" or about him in any way. Maybe he thinks I laugh too much. I'm not any more talkative than any of the other women in my department. I am super-serious about my career. The only thing more important to me is my family. I would never gossip or engage in behaviour which would make people not take me seriously Edited January 14, 2015 by Intrepidcaribou Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWoman911 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I have never said anything to him beyond "yes" "no" "thank you" "I was wondering if you would be able to send me over those mining stats?" or about him in any way. Maybe he thinks I laugh too much. I'm not any more talkative than any of the other women in my department. I am super-serious about my career. The only thing more important to me is my family. I would never gossip or engage in behaviour which would make people not take me seriouslu Oh ok.Have you ever brought this up to your other coworkers about why he may be acting this way towards you? They probably know him a lot better than you since you just started working there and they can give you some insight,maybe. Or...... you could be doing really well on the job and he's noticing your good work ethic. This can lead to much success for you in the company and he probably don't want you to get promoted, get more recognition, or shine. Just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
spanishchick00 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Its hard to tell. He may or may not like you and isn't interested in having a in depth conversation with you or wanting to be a buddy at work. People are like this. If he doesn't engage conversation, leave at that, no need to pester him about it. For example, there's this one person at work, that I was interested in being her friend, I was nice to her, always greeted her, talked to her, but she was never interested in a friendship outside of work, where I saw that she became good friends with one of my friends at work and she always invited her out and they always excluded me...it was pretty obviously she wasn't interested. It sucks. No matter how nice you are to people, they don't want to return the favor. Link to post Share on other sites
karmasama Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Just try t accept it the way it is. If he doesn't want to initiate any "in-depth" communication, then you can either try yourself, or let it be There are billions of people in the world, and everybody is different There is no sense in trying to guess, or over-complicating the matter. Let it be Link to post Share on other sites
bubbletea Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I would think it has nothing to do with you. It may just be his personality (shy/reserved/loner). Plus if he is married, he will probably not be socializing a lot with other women. To be honest I sound a lot like him so that's just me imagining what might be going through his mind. It's not all about you. You are probably not even a blip on his radar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Just don't worry about it. All you should do is be polite. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 In my opinion you're over-thinking things. He doesn't have to like you; and it shouldn't matter so much to you. His marital status, your marital status are not relevant. You said you are "friends" with everyone else.....well, maybe he notices that and doesn't want to get that close. Nothing wrong with that. Just focus on doing the job. Link to post Share on other sites
chumble Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 He is very quiet and generally only speaks when it's necessary, though sometimes he'll chat with some of the older women on staff about parenting etc. He's at a totally different stage of his life than me. He's married with two kids and about 35 and I'm 28 and single. Sometimes he'll very tersely come over to my desk and ask a question. I even bumped into him at the grocery store last weekend and he barely acknowledged me. He isn't rude per se, but he isn't nice either. I can't seem to figure out if I've offended him. I'm good friends with everyone else in my department. I'm also the youngest and newest person there. Maybe he avoids chit-chat because he finds you attractive, or is worried that you might think he does if he talks with you too much. I'm 32, and avoid small-talk at the office with women in their twenties unless THEY initiate it. Lately, this goes almost as far as not even saying "hello." Plenty of other chat-mates, too much potential for misunderstanding, and you ladies creep so easily. Link to post Share on other sites
spanishchick00 Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Maybe he avoids chit-chat because he finds you attractive, or is worried that you might think he does if he talks with you too much. I'm 32, and avoid small-talk at the office with women in their twenties unless THEY initiate it. Lately, this goes almost as far as not even saying "hello." Plenty of other chat-mates, too much potential for misunderstanding, and you ladies creep so easily. Yeah, even an innocent "hello" at work to the opposite sex can make someone think that other person is interested. I made the mistake of saying a simple, "good morning" to someone and the jackass assumed I wanted him when clearly I was being that friendly person at work. Ugh. All because I made the stupid mistake of imitating it. From now on, I don't even say hello to someone of the opposite sex anymore. Its also stupid how people can misunderstand "hellos" and "good mornings." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Intrepidcaribou Posted January 20, 2015 Author Share Posted January 20, 2015 In my opinion you're over-thinking things. He doesn't have to like you; and it shouldn't matter so much to you. His marital status, your marital status are not relevant. You said you are "friends" with everyone else.....well, maybe he notices that and doesn't want to get that close. Nothing wrong with that. Just focus on doing the job. The thing is that he is uncommunicative when we work on projects together. He has OK relationships with men and the older ladies but some days I feel as if he is avoiding talking to me and working with him can be like pulling teeth. Lol I don't think he likes me. He's actually pretty good looking and has a very attractive wife. I'm ordinary looking. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 His looks, his wife's looks. and your looks are irrelevant. Maybe he notices or picks up vibes that you are too invested in how he feels about you. If you make him uncomfortable he could lodge a complaint. Better just do your job. Link to post Share on other sites
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