smg15 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 I seem to only experience this with women not saying that there are no moody men in the workplace. But it's 2 women who will smile and speak one day and then look mad and unresponsive when I speak the next. Today I was speaking to this woman and I'm not sure if she even responded because I didn't hear anything when I said Good morning. So I have decided to not speak at all because I am sick of feeling stupid when someone is in a bad mood. How can you not respond to a coworker when they say hello or good morning? I already cut one girl off and she is pretty much in the same category as a chair to me now lol Has anyone else experience this? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Sure, anyone who works has experienced it. It's called having other things on your mind than everyone you pass in the hall. Maybe they're trying to think what to say when they get to someone's office or trying to remember if they skipped step in some task. It's typical workplace behavior. No, you can't just stop being civil. It's part of your job to be polite, nothing more, nothing less, to the people in your workplace. As you said, they typically are polite to you as well, but everyone has times they are too in their head about their job at work, and that's as it should be. They are simply tuned out at that moment. Now, all this is assuming you are offering simple politeness and not getting your back up because you're trying to hit on these women at work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Sure, anyone who works has experienced it. It's called having other things on your mind than everyone you pass in the hall. Maybe they're trying to think what to say when they get to someone's office or trying to remember if they skipped step in some task. It's typical workplace behavior. No, you can't just stop being civil. It's part of your job to be polite, nothing more, nothing less, to the people in your workplace. As you said, they typically are polite to you as well, but everyone has times they are too in their head about their job at work, and that's as it should be. They are simply tuned out at that moment. Now, all this is assuming you are offering simple politeness and not getting your back up because you're trying to hit on these women at work. No not at all, it was a simple good morning. And sometimes I have no choice but to cut a woman off because it almost comes off as "bi-polar" You can't be crying at 11am and joking around at 3pm all in the same day Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Why can't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Why can't you? because you will then have a reputation as the office weirdo. No woman should ever be crying at work in front of everyone go in the bathroom or outside in your car Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 because you will then have a reputation as the office weirdo. No woman should ever be crying at work in front of everyone go in the bathroom or outside in your car I have never once thought of a woman crying at work as a weirdo. Maybe where you work, but not one of the jobs in my 15+ professional work experience. As for your issue with being pissed that others don't jump right on your "good morning"... Could be any number of reasons why. In your shoes, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd continue to smile, be civil and acknowledge people. Why not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I have never once thought of a woman crying at work as a weirdo. Maybe where you work, but not one of the jobs in my 15+ professional work experience. As for your issue with being pissed that others don't jump right on your "good morning"... Could be any number of reasons why. In your shoes, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd continue to smile, be civil and acknowledge people. Why not. So why does her "ignorance" get to be excused when I say good morning? It doesn't take a lot of effort to say hello back to someone Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 What ignorance? Because she doesn't respond? So what? Is it hurting you to be civil and polite? Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 What ignorance? Because she doesn't respond? So what? Is it hurting you to be civil and polite? well now i won't be responding. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I seem to only experience this with women not saying that there are no moody men in the workplace. Maybe you only notice it when women do it because you expect different behavior from them? Surely there have been men in your workplace who have not responded when you talk to them, or who seem angry in the morning and fine in the afternoon. I kind of doubt that your reaction to a man who did that would be to cut him off due to his "mood swings" or to describe him as "bi-polar." In any case, I think you should continue to be civil and polite and say, "good morning" to people whether they respond or not. Cutting off communication from a coworker is not the best course of action. Then you might get a reputation as the office weirdo because you freeze out coworkers when they don't say "good morning" to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Maybe you only notice it when women do it because you expect different behavior from them? Surely there have been men in your workplace who have not responded when you talk to them, or who seem angry in the morning and fine in the afternoon. I kind of doubt that your reaction to a man who did that would be to cut him off due to his "mood swings" or to describe him as "bi-polar." In any case, I think you should continue to be civil and polite and say, "good morning" to people whether they respond or not. Cutting off communication from a coworker is not the best course of action. Then you might get a reputation as the office weirdo because you freeze out coworkers when they don't say "good morning" to you. Actually it was one guy and he ended up telling me it was because he was FASTING. So far that was the only mood swing in 2014. Some of the women tend to have them every other week Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Actually it was one guy After he was cold to you or had a mood swing or whatever, did you consider cutting off all communication with him? and he ended up telling me it was because he was FASTING. Okay, so you're accepting this as a good excuse for his behavior. Is it possible that your two coworkers had good excuses for acting the way they did? Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 After he was cold to you or had a mood swing or whatever, did you consider cutting off all communication with him? Okay, so you're accepting this as a good excuse for his behavior. Is it possible that your two coworkers had good excuses for acting the way they did? I didn't let it bother me because he normally was the same everyday. By the that woman who didn't speak last week spoke to me first this morning with all her teeth showing lol Another sign of someone being bi-polar Link to post Share on other sites
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 I seem to only experience this with women not saying that there are no moody men in the workplace. But it's 2 women who will smile and speak one day and then look mad and unresponsive when I speak the next. Today I was speaking to this woman and I'm not sure if she even responded because I didn't hear anything when I said Good morning. So I have decided to not speak at all because I am sick of feeling stupid when someone is in a bad mood. How can you not respond to a coworker when they say hello or good morning? I already cut one girl off and she is pretty much in the same category as a chair to me now lol Has anyone else experience this? I once had a boss like this. Excellent at what he did and seemingly nice in general...but...it was always a mixed bag with him. One day, he'd be running jokes with the team (sometimes a tad bit inappropriate), smiling and then the next day he'd snap if you made the same kind of joke he was ok with the day before. I'd also witness him throw tantrums sometimes if he didn't get his way with the CEO. From that moment forward, I realized that he was temperamental (most likely due to a mental imbalance) so I said the usual good morning to the office, and kept my trap shut until I could identify the mood he was in and respond accordingly. If he was in a good mood, I'd smile and make jokes with him; when he was a bit more taciturn or moody, I'd only reach out to him if it was absolutely necessary but only about work related things. It's an art but the older I am getting (though still in my mid 20s), the more aware I am about the fact that some people react differently to stress (personal and professional), sometimes people just don't want to be bothered, and other times people have mental issues and you just have to be cognizant and respectful of that to not take it too personally. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 i dont think you should change your attitude or how you treat people based on a non response......there could be a myriad of reasons why someoen doesnt respond and not all of them are bad.....a pre-occupied mind maybe.on auto pilot maybe...stressed...not sleeping.....away with the fairies.......mood swings maybe....the fact comes down to what type of person are you to knowingly ignore someone because you werent happy with a response....i have had people treat me badly.....and then talk to me later....i treat them as i treat everyone else.....as i would want to be treated regardless of how they treat me....i have been able to bring up at a later time to ask if they were ok earlier or do they need help with anything.......and that i noticed that they were a bit off......what i have found when i ask this....is that the people who ignored me are glad that i noticed something...because they normally tell me what they were thinking of...or what they need a bit of help with....takes a bit of empathy..... when others have been rude to me even i wont be rude back depending on how much they hurt me ....i would more likely actively avoid them so i wouldnt be rude.....just not around to hurt again..........and they normally apologise...i accept not everyone is perfect.....i certainly am the last to expect that...i have off days......everyone does........deb Link to post Share on other sites
spanishchick00 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Not really. I'm actually guilty of doing this. Everyone has their bad days at work due for whatever reason like problems at home/health problems, just things that they are dealing with, and sometimes people don't want to be bothered at work. For me, I'm usually responsive if someone says, good morning, how are you, hello and that's it, I'm not going to be rude to them or be giving dirty looks or yell at them. If there is not much talk in me, I won't carry on a conversation. I think people need to be respectful when it comes to that, and they shouldn't badger someone if they don't talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 Not really. I'm actually guilty of doing this. Everyone has their bad days at work due for whatever reason like problems at home/health problems, just things that they are dealing with, and sometimes people don't want to be bothered at work. For me, I'm usually responsive if someone says, good morning, how are you, hello and that's it, I'm not going to be rude to them or be giving dirty looks or yell at them. If there is not much talk in me, I won't carry on a conversation. I think people need to be respectful when it comes to that, and they shouldn't badger someone if they don't talk. But that does not excuse not responding back at all when someone says good morning. And then she has the nerve to come in all bubbly and saying GOOD MORNING and I was not too enthusiastic to say anything because how she acted last week. I actually notices that all the women I work with have their good and bad days. You can see their by face that they are not in a socializing mood and then other days they are all upbeat and talkative. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddy Street Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I have, but with a good male friend of mine. I never need to cut off communication with coworkers, because that's all they ever are to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 I have, but with a good male friend of mine. I never need to cut off communication with coworkers, because that's all they ever are to me. If the coworker is in another department then it;s easy to cut off communication Link to post Share on other sites
spanishchick00 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 But that does not excuse not responding back at all when someone says good morning. And then she has the nerve to come in all bubbly and saying GOOD MORNING and I was not too enthusiastic to say anything because how she acted last week. I actually notices that all the women I work with have their good and bad days. You can see their by face that they are not in a socializing mood and then other days they are all upbeat and talkative. Well, that's just being rude if they don't respond back to a "good morning." Ugh. Sometimes its pain in the ass having to deal with co-workers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 Well, that's just being rude if they don't respond back to a "good morning." Ugh. Sometimes its pain in the ass having to deal with co-workers. My grandmom is the type if you did that to her she would start singing GOOD MORNING to you until you reply back lol Link to post Share on other sites
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