davema Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 It's a tough call and at the end of it all, the decision is all on me to make. There's what I would LOVE to do, which I know I'm good at, which I know I've had some mild success at over the years, which I know I could make some great money at if I really went for it and didn't look back, which I know really suits me and would make me happy in the long run... ...Then there's what I should probably do, which I am sort of good at, which I know will certainly pay the bills, which I know is important so that I can support my family, which I feel is the safe route to take to ensure a solid career that keeps the money there for the family but won't make me happy artistically or anything I'm super interested in, but again, is the safe route... And at 41, I'm feeling like I'm probably too old to follow a dream. But I want it so bad and think I can do it.. it's a gamble. What to do, what to do... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 How does your spouse feel about 'follow a dream' path? You're a team. It's quite common for one spouse to support the other and the reverse over a long M while each spouse 'follows their dream'. 'Support' can be financial, emotional, physical or any combination. It's one real advantage to a healthy partnership. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 What is your dream? I was watching "Divorce Court" recently, and she is always getting guys who are barely working while becoming a rapper and she said if there were any more rappers, there would be more rappers than audience. Hah. But in general, I think if you can follow your dream you should. I did, and I was happy even in the times I wasn't making any money. I wouldn't have brought a family into that though. I didn't even bring a pet into it. I needed to be free to do whatever I needed to do or go where I needed to go. Give us your dream and it will be easier to answer. And also give us the safe way. Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I think at 41, you have to focus on a job that is stable first and maybe follow a dream part-time and see what happens Got to have that security first 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Really depends on your circumstances. It would be easy to encourage you to "just follow your dream," but that may not be realistic for your situation. It sounds like you're supporting a family? If you changed paths to pursue your real interests, could your family handle that financial brunt? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 As long as it's not going to make you abandon any standing responsibilities, why wouldn't you follow your dream? That is what life is for! Link to post Share on other sites
jonsnuh Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Just make sure the expected rewards are worth the risk of following your dream. Then take action and never regret. The journey may be more enjoyable than the dream having been realized. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 As a 38-year-old ex theatre actor without a family I'm going to push for the safe option. I live in NYC. Virtually every artist, actor, photographer, musician, writer I know is doing something other than what they really want to do. Support for the arts in this country(I'm assuming you're from the States) is abysmal. Competition is stiff. Networking is everything. Internet, for better or worse, has made so much of the salable free. Success is usually hinged on factors that precede talent. Rejection is colossal. Luck necessary. Space expensive. I feel like most people around me, artist and non-artist alike, in the current job climate are choosing to go one of two routes: back to school OR starting their own business. In my opinion, that is a strong indicator that all is not well. I'll add one final observation: many of the more successful artists I've met over the years focus, in a very businesslike way, on the cultivation and promulgation of their business. Their art SUFFERS majorly. They don't see it. The people consuming their much-hyped product don't see it. But I see it. Clear as day. It's that age old battle---art vs. commerce. When your energy is going into the packaging of a product, the quality of the product suffers. My advice is do what guarantees your family the strongest, most secure future. Let your art be your love. You know the word "amateur?" It often has negative connotations in our culture. Actually amateur means to do something out of love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 It really depends on your circumstances - you have to weigh the benefits against the risks. Also, given that you have mentioned you are your family's provider, IMO you should get your partner's opinion on it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofeelings22 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I am someone who ALWAYS follows my dream and set up my entire life to make all of my dreams reality. It has worked. Only about 2 dreams to go. I would venture to make a bold statement.... The minute you signed up to have kids, you gave your dream away, at least for 18 years. You'll need to finish what you started and go for the dream later. However, all dreams are expensive. The years between now and when your last kid has grown up will give you plenty of time to save up. If you are going nuts and feeling unfulfilled, do your dream on the side, just as a hobby, not as a source of income your family depends on. It is quite possible your side business will take off anyway and then you will get to your dream early. But with a family, don't just leap. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I am someone who ALWAYS follows my dream and set up my entire life to make all of my dreams reality. It has worked. Only about 2 dreams to go. I would venture to make a bold statement.... The minute you signed up to have kids, you gave your dream away, at least for 18 years. You'll need to finish what you started and go for the dream later. However, all dreams are expensive. The years between now and when your last kid has grown up will give you plenty of time to save up. If you are going nuts and feeling unfulfilled, do your dream on the side, just as a hobby, not as a source of income your family depends on. It is quite possible your side business will take off anyway and then you will get to your dream early. But with a family, don't just leap. Agree 100 percent. The dream chasing is when you are young and just out of college 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I am someone who ALWAYS follows my dream and set up my entire life to make all of my dreams reality. It has worked. Only about 2 dreams to go. I would venture to make a bold statement.... The minute you signed up to have kids, you gave your dream away, at least for 18 years. You'll need to finish what you started and go for the dream later. However, all dreams are expensive. The years between now and when your last kid has grown up will give you plenty of time to save up. If you are going nuts and feeling unfulfilled, do your dream on the side, just as a hobby, not as a source of income your family depends on. It is quite possible your side business will take off anyway and then you will get to your dream early. But with a family, don't just leap. This! I am so happy I decided to not have kids at a young age! My life would have been over IMO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 It's hard to advise here b/c you don't say what the dream is and what sacrifices it will take to go there. Are you dreaming of returning to college? Are you dreaming of playing in a hair band? Are you dreaming of surfing in Hawaii? If it's within reasons and makes sense, do it. If it's irresponsible to your family and puts them in financial hardship, no. You have a responsibility to take care of them - first and foremost. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 I think it depends on the dream...is it going to uproot the family? How old are your kids? Can your wife be the breadwinner while you get your dream off the ground? Is it achievable and for long term? Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 I made a post a while back that relates to this subject, take a read at if you have a chance http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/474439-sometimes-feels-like-i-turn-my-back-rest-world 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeronicaRoss Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 You really need to say what this dream is for us to be helpful. As someone with a fine arts degree who went the money-making, benefits package route in my late 30s -- I vote heavily for the safe route. I'm surrounded by friends who stuck with their creative calling and their lives suck. I came down with a virus that knocked me out for months, I realized then and there I wanted more security and pursued it. Even if you have a spouse that will support you, a million things can happen to them. You should be able to take care of your family. If there is any way to fulfill this dream in a way that isn't your career, do it. Music, acting, art are all things you can do if you really care about it too. With kids and a loving spouse that's an amazing life. Link to post Share on other sites
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