I think dance director doesn't like me

[kimba75]

Hey all,

I'm in a dance company and in our upcoming production, I've been cast in one of the lead roles. There are 2 directors - one in charge of the actual company and one in charge of the actual production. I have a good relationship with the company director, but don't really know the production director that well.

 

I've been thinking for the longest time that production director doesn't like me. She does things like always ignores me, talks to other dancers and makes eye contact with them but not me, rolls eyes at me, etc. it's really making me paranoid and I'm starting to feel like I'm in the movie Black Swan! Lol. I just don't want to be feeling this way. I feel like the only reason I got one of the leads is because of the pull of the company director.

 

I walk around on egg shells around the production director and try to be friendly but she wants no part of it. I think her personal life is in shambles from what ive heard. I try to be perfect for her but it just drives her further away and I'm sick of feeling this way and worrying about it.

 

I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Any advice how to calm down?

[CC12]

I try to be perfect for her but it just drives her further away and I'm sick of feeling this way and worrying about it.

 

This is an overly simple response, but can you just stop caring about her?

 

Say she does hate you with all her being. How does that alter your experience there? She's not actively trying to sabotage you or make your life harder, she just doesn't make eye contact and rolls her eyes at you. That seems like something you can easily handle, just by not caring what she thinks of you.

 

Surely this isn't the first bitchy/cold person you've had to deal with in your dance career?

[kimba75]

Now that you put it that way, it seems so simple.

 

What I'm fighting against is my mind that is jumping to conclusions, for example like 'does she think I'm not a good enough dancer' - 'did I only get this role because the lead director believes in me' etc. I suppose I need to get to a place where I don't care anymore. The same thing happened last year and I still managed to get another lead role.

 

I'm gonna chalk it up to personality differences and leave it at that. Hopefully I can manage to quiet all this anxiety.

 

Thanks!

[CC12]

You got the role because someone thought that you were good enough for it and worthy of it.

 

Did you audition for it? If you did, you should accept and appreciate that you were chosen over all those other people because you did a good job and you were the best fit.

 

If you didn't have to audition for it, you should accept and appreciate that someone already knew that you were so good for the role that there was no need to see you audition.