Jump to content

Going to his workplace


Recommended Posts

makeithappen

Hello,

 

Although I am very fond of someone (not available because married and with kids), I am trying to forget him by focusing on someone else. There's this former colleague of mine who was very cute and he always intrigued me. I cannot say I am in love, but there is definitely something about him. I would like to satisfy my curiosity by asking colleagues at my current place where he works, and then paying him a visit to tell him I would like to get to know him.

 

However:

 

- I do not want my current colleagues to know I am interested in this guy (no time for gossip behind my back)

- I do not know what to say if I manage to visit him at his workplace. He is a cool guy, so I feel safe going to say hi, but beyond this, I don't know what else to say (and I have very little time as he is into customer service!)

 

Good idea? Bad idea?

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you want to find out where somebody works, just ask casually.

 

Do not just show up there. Work is work & personal stuff doesn't belong there. I'd be furious if somebody showed up unannounced at my place of business & I would have negative opinion of them for not having appropriate boundaries.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Just making inquiries, and the "look" on your face (that you will not be able to hide), will start rumors at work.

 

Please take Don0vain's advice very seriously. That will save your pride, and perhaps you position at your current job. To use your work connections to subtly run into some guy you are "curious about" is highly irregular and grounds to be dismissed - in my book.

 

Now to the most important reason of all to DISAPPEAR THIS IDEA. In your own words, you "are not available because you are married and have kids."

 

Makeithappen, you were a very smart woman to come here to discuss this matter. We are all human, and at times curious- and it is completely normal to have fantasies, and to even want to chase and run after them. If you catch the object of the fantasy or curiousity - it may be your downfall. Don't kid yourself.

 

Many if not most of the folks and/or couples that post in the "separation, divorce, break-up" sections of the LS Inter-Relationship Center have one or more partners who may have actually acted on impulse in a situation not unlike what you are describing. That is how these forums come to be.

 

Young lady - sometimes, the examples and analogies I am in the habit of proving are a bit over the top and extreme. Bear with me on that - and try to see my point - as I have lived much longer than you - I'm sure about that. And maybe I'm showing signs of Alzheimer's, or something.:eek:

 

Bravo to you, that you did not "Make This Happen." You have restraint, willpower, and good sense, young lady. You looked for advice - rather than acting on your hormones and curiosity (and we know that "old saying" about the latter - right?).

 

I seriously praise you, because I acted on impulse, found justifications in my mind to do so, and I now, morally, - regret it. I did not think - like you are doing. I just acted on what I wanted, what my body told me I needed.

 

Listen, can you top my good reasons to, let's just say --"Get Curious?":

 

After enduring a my hideous, selfish, mean, hateful husband for years and years (23), that refused to touch me for a decade, - this history dictated to me that I deserved to have my desire that came before me.

 

I even I felt justified under God, as I knew my husband had been doing adultery the entire marriage. That was my Ultimate Rationalization to do the wrong thing.

 

These, I later found, after careful reflection, were not a good excuses or reasoning. It was not worth it at all.

 

You have saved yourself a lot of misery, professionally and personally. Again, Brava girl. I admire you. Yas

Link to post
Share on other sites

Look the guy up on Facebook or through telephone information and call him, tell him you've moved out and wanted to give him your info.

Link to post
Share on other sites
jellybean89

This sounds very ..... creepy.

 

You want to forget your crush on a married co-worker so you are interested in a former co-worker who you don't even know? Cause if you knew him, you would know where he works...and it is creepy to show up at someone's work to try to 'get to know them'. They are at their job, doing their job --- it would irritate the crap out of me if someone I didn't know showed up at my job to 'get to know me'.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Now to the most important reason of all to DISAPPEAR THIS IDEA. In your own words, you "are not available because you are married and have kids."

 

I read OPs post as the guy she's fond of and interested in is not available because he's married with kids, so she's backing off.

 

Look the guy up on Facebook or through telephone information and call him, tell him you've moved out and wanted to give him your info.

 

I agree with this. Facebook him or see if he's on Linked In. Do not show up at his new work unless it's a public retail store or restaurant type environment where you can pull it off as innocuous. Even then, it will be a struggle to make conversation so as not to get him in trouble for socializing.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Buffalo, for correcting me. It appears I totally misread and misunderstood the OP's post. I stand corrected and apopolize for concocting a convoluted response on misinformation I devleoped on my own. Please, OP, and others - I apologize for this mishap, please just ignore my post. I have been goofing up, I guess I just need to stop contributing due to my illness (my meds may need adjusting - yet again). Very sorry. Yas

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...