Dr Jekyll Mister Hyde Boss

[Tayla]

Recently attended a business appreciate breakfast. Its with my company that is owned by three boss's. Boss One is a ghost boss, there to collect his cut and out the door he goes. Boss Two is female and has a chip on her shoulder a mile high. The Third Boss is my direct boss as we are in a division in another town.

 

Here is my ongoing angst. The Female boss loves to portray herself as Miss Perfect. Spewing out little sayings to motivate the staff and come off as clear as rain water. I have sat in smaller meetings where she has shown her true colors, and they aren't filled with positive notions. She will cut you to the bone at any given opportunity. She also has a desire to cut down any male figure she can....she is on a mission to prove a woman can do a mans job much better. I cringe being in her social presence.

 

At this breakfast she started eaves dropping on various talks that were going on at the table. At one point she chimes in "listen, we must be Positive Pollys, and not speak of such things negative". I about wanted to reach across the table and thwap her! ( But I didn't, as I am much more reserved in social ways). Bottom line is...How would you deal with a hypocrite that takes it upon themselves to mandate folks perceptions or opinions? Her attitude came off as patronizing and condescending.

The co-worker sat there dumbfounded as did I because the actual statement while not positive was a fact that needed brought to the table for resolution. I personally think some folks are in denial that negative things happen and need addressed. Unlike most folks I do not think my boss's are "above me" or are to be bowed down too...I see them as equals in this company and a title doesnt give them the right to treat folks dishonorably, and vice versa. They can certainly fire and write folks up all they want, yet it doesnt change the dynamics that we are adults...

[Got it]

Recently attended a business appreciate breakfast. Its with my company that is owned by three boss's. Boss One is a ghost boss, there to collect his cut and out the door he goes. Boss Two is female and has a chip on her shoulder a mile high. The Third Boss is my direct boss as we are in a division in another town.

 

Here is my ongoing angst. The Female boss loves to portray herself as Miss Perfect. Spewing out little sayings to motivate the staff and come off as clear as rain water. I have sat in smaller meetings where she has shown her true colors, and they aren't filled with positive notions. She will cut you to the bone at any given opportunity. She also has a desire to cut down any male figure she can....she is on a mission to prove a woman can do a mans job much better. I cringe being in her social presence.

 

At this breakfast she started eaves dropping on various talks that were going on at the table. At one point she chimes in "listen, we must be Positive Pollys, and not speak of such things negative". I about wanted to reach across the table and thwap her! ( But I didn't, as I am much more reserved in social ways). Bottom line is...How would you deal with a hypocrite that takes it upon themselves to mandate folks perceptions or opinions? Her attitude came off as patronizing and condescending.

The co-worker sat there dumbfounded as did I because the actual statement while not positive was a fact that needed brought to the table for resolution. I personally think some folks are in denial that negative things happen and need addressed. Unlike most folks I do not think my boss's are "above me" or are to be bowed down too...I see them as equals in this company and a title doesnt give them the right to treat folks dishonorably, and vice versa. They can certainly fire and write folks up all they want, yet it doesnt change the dynamics that we are adults...

 

Given that they are not just supervisors but actually the owners I think this view point is inappropriate for this company. These are the people where whom the buck stops with. Basically if you don't like it or can't adapt to them then leave. This is their company and outside of the confines of the local and federal laws and regulations they can conduct it how they like. So she is well within her rights to be a hypocrite and stay as one if she so chooses. Turnover will give them some answers to the success of their management style but it is only if they pay attention.

 

This seems like such a minor complaint though. I have bosses and owners that do not always conduct themselves in the manner I would or agree with but I either decide it is a hill I want to die on or just deal with it.

 

If you want to try and affect change, sit down with her and talk to her. Potentially your feedback may be helpful.

[carhill]

Some business owners are jerks. That's how it's always been and that's how it always will be. The good news is there are millions of employers and most I know are always looking for good people to improve their bottom line. I view such dynamics as 'bad fits' and would move on. I haven't been an employee in almost 30 years but remember those prior times well, so YMMV. For myself, it's a 'jerk' customer or 'jerk' vendor and, sometimes, the same decisions must be made. 'Jerk' employees are easy to handle. Document and boot. For 'Mr. Hyde', pushback by you may put you into that latter category. Myself, I'd make a lateral move with a good recommendation from Dr Jeckyll. Good luck.

[Tayla]

Thank you Carhill.Its the attitude of common courtesy that I strive for in business with clients and fellow co workers. I've had the priveledge of meeting genuinely decent business owners that are by no means arrogant or condescending...matter of fact a good sign of a leader is one who endorses and encourages his/her staff, listens to the feedback and makes informed decisions that are beneficial to the market.

As so often is the phrase in my work environment ...the Boss was having a "moment", pleasant or not, its theirs to deal with.

 

To Got It, thanks for your variation and ideas. If by "adapting" its meant to conform to being treated disrepectfully, then count me out. The Door swings both ways. Wise of you to say, pick your battles. My Boss(owner #3) whom I have some level of regard for often says that very phrase. Its not a battle, as I am on the side of the customer, company, fellow co workers and policies. Can't go wrong when living and working with those goals in mind

[Got it]

Thank you Carhill.Its the attitude of common courtesy that I strive for in business with clients and fellow co workers. I've had the priveledge of meeting genuinely decent business owners that are by no means arrogant or condescending...matter of fact a good sign of a leader is one who endorses and encourages his/her staff, listens to the feedback and makes informed decisions that are beneficial to the market.

As so often is the phrase in my work environment ...the Boss was having a "moment", pleasant or not, its theirs to deal with.

 

To Got It, thanks for your variation and ideas. If by "adapting" its meant to conform to being treated disrepectfully, then count me out. The Door swings both ways. Wise of you to say, pick your battles. My Boss(owner #3) whom I have some level of regard for often says that very phrase. Its not a battle, as I am on the side of the customer, company, fellow co workers and policies. Can't go wrong when living and working with those goals in mind

 

Tayla, pick your battles means, is this an issue that you want to press forward on or something you want to let go. Similarly there is the phrase, is this a hill you want to die on. If this is a company where you do not agree with its practices, philosophies or actions then find another company. If there is an issue of discriminatory actions or other illegal events then by all means take it to the proper authorities but if that is not the case then it comes down to their company their rules. You either adapt or leave. You can attempt to effect change, and more power to you on it, but understanding that it may have little effect and potentially a negative impact on you.

 

You cannot control the actions by others, you can only control your own.

[Tayla]

I wasn't disagreeing with you GOTIT I know the meaning of phrases. We are both essentailly on the same page. Thanks for clarifying!-Life is by far to short to let someones elses attitude and demeanor get in the way of a good day. I've moved on from it.