I walked out on my job the other day...it feels like a bad break-up

[Country_Girl]

I slept all day yesterday, all night, and a good portion of today. I know these are the signs of depression, I've experienced it years ago - but I don't know why I'm getting depressed, as I know I'm much better off.

 

I thought the job I signed up for was legit, since it was interviewed through a staffing agency. But as time went on I learned just anyone can start up LLC and pretend to own a company. It was a marketing job, me and 1 other were hired. We were promised we would be managers. We would earn team bonuses, production bonuses, we would be bumped up to salary after a month or two. You will have a base of 2k a month, 2500, always a conflicting report. How does 50k a year sound? I bet you never earned 50k a year before, have you? Do you know what nice of a living that would afford you? Are you single? Oh you are, well 50k is a lot for one person.

 

Always these warped promises, playing on my emotions, of future projected salaries - "once we hire more employees". It's not like I believed him, I didn't -but maybe the daily manipulation stuck somewhere inside and that's why I feel depressed?

 

As time went on we took on another project that another neighboring company was selling. My boss lied to them and collected hours for our payroll from them, which half of was not spent working on their project, it was devoted to my bosses other ventures. I was encouraged to work more than 40 hours a week, my boss stating that 'technically' we were working for another company, so he did not have to pay time and a half. I said I'll work 40 hours, but if you are not paying overtime pay above that, then my cutoff is 40 hours.

 

My boss kept pressuring us to quit the staffing agency, that he was binded to a contract by them, if we quit they wouldn't know and he would secretly hire us. He tried to bribe us, saying we will get a dollar raise. I did not feel safe losing the safety net of the agency, so my coworker and I did not quit. He eventually caused so many problems for the agency that they agreed to relieve him of his contract.

 

The next day, as our official boss and no longer under contract of the staffing agency - the boss said there would be some pay restructuring. He cut the rate of bonuses in half, said he would not honor the rate he promised. That we were spoon fed those leads, did not have to work for them, therefore did not earn them. When my coworker mentioned he promised a dollar raise, he said we haven't made him any money and did not deserve it. The whole meeting felt like a verbal assault session. If we were so bad, why did he pressure us to quit for a month, claiming we were such great employees he didn't want to lose us to the staffing agency.

 

After an hour of verbal abuse, when the boss went to the back, my coworker and I gathered our things and walked out. An hour later the boss called my coworker (she had it on speaker phone)- he asked if we were on break. He knew better, we left our time sheet behind with the business key. He further tried to manipulate, saying he was working on what oursalary will be. My coworker said no, we are done.

 

I just feel emotionally drained after 2 months, long hours, blood and sweat, and money manipulation. I knew he would never deliver and was not capable of it, after he admitted convincing another company to pay for our hours. I don't care about money. But emotionally I am taxed, and I never realized how deep psychological manipulation manifested - even when you did not take that person's word on anything or believe the lies.

 

What a mess. It just feels like a bad dream. I am sad and depressed for some reason, even though I know I'm better off.

[OpenBook]

You've got a great co-worker! I think you absolutely did the right thing by walking out. He's damn lucky you didn't put a lawyer all over him. What he did is criminal. Definitely illegal. You don't need to be around people like that in the professional arena! They'll drag you down right along with them.

 

Understandable that you're feeling down given what you've just been through, but I hope it's not because you walked out. That was absolutely the right call. You'll get back on your feet, get another job & resume your career. That's inevitable. You're going to be all right. This was just a blip on the computer screen of your career.

 

The more immediate question in my mind would be, do you need to go back to the staffing agency & make amends, or at least let them know what happened? I'd talk it over with your coworker first. They might be the door to your next gig. On the other hand, they were the ones who delivered you to this guy!! so it might not be good to deal with them anymore. (See what I mean about dragging others down? It reflects on anybody associated with them!)

[Debanked]

When I was a bit younger with no kids I had a job that I hated. Long commute, low-level work, politics and senior management with heads up their asses. I got fed up, wrote a letter of resignation, walked in and spoke to HR about it. Quit on the spot, walked out, and never looked back!

[Country_Girl]

You've got a great co-worker! I think you absolutely did the right thing by walking out. He's damn lucky you didn't put a lawyer all over him. What he did is criminal. Definitely illegal. You don't need to be around people like that in the professional arena! They'll drag you down right along with them.

 

Understandable that you're feeling down given what you've just been through, but I hope it's not because you walked out. That was absolutely the right call. You'll get back on your feet, get another job & resume your career. That's inevitable. You're going to be all right. This was just a blip on the computer screen of your career.

 

The more immediate question in my mind would be, do you need to go back to the staffing agency & make amends, or at least let them know what happened? I'd talk it over with your coworker first. They might be the door to your next gig. On the other hand, they were the ones who delivered you to this guy!! so it might not be good to deal with them anymore. (See what I mean about dragging others down? It reflects on anybody associated with them!)

 

I'm not really sad about walking out, I do think it was the right call. I think it's just all the false promises, and even though the base hourly was measley- and less per hour than I've earned in the past, I did need the job for bills. I guess maybe it's stress creeping up on how will I pay those bills. Ideally I would have liked to have something lined up first, but it was impossible due to work hours.

 

My coworker is great. She definitely was my back bone in this, couldn't have done it without her.

 

Yeah, after we left we drove to the staffing agency. We were concerned we won't get paid by him. They said they will do whatever they have to, to recover wages. That we are in perfect standing with them and they will try to find something else. They also wanted statements, I'm not sure why, maybe in case they have to take him to court?

 

I don't think I'll see my bonuses. That's OK, so long as I get paid for my hrs.

[spiderowl]

I am very sorry about what happened to you. The guy was manipulating you and lying, so this was abuse. It's no wonder you feel depressed - people don't usually feel happy following such treatment. You invested so much emotionally and in terms of energy, working hard for a guy who didn't deserve it. At some level, you might be thinking perhaps I deserve this kind of treatment? Well, you don't.

 

When we are taken for a ride, we look back and wonder how someone could treat us like that, how we could have been stupid enough to be taken for a ride, and why people like him seem to get away with it. There will probably be a journey through various emotions until you come to terms with it. The good thing is that you have a colleague who should understand and maybe you can support each other.

 

It's very difficult to know what to do next. You might have some legal redress; depends on the laws in your country. You could warn the agency about him, which might stop anyone else getting caught up in this.

 

Other than that, be kind to yourself, rest, do things that make you feel good and put this bad experience behind you as best you can. You have the integrity and commitment to go on to better things.

[Country_Girl]

I am very sorry about what happened to you. The guy was manipulating you and lying, so this was abuse. It's no wonder you feel depressed - people don't usually feel happy following such treatment. You invested so much emotionally and in terms of energy, working hard for a guy who didn't deserve it. At some level, you might be thinking perhaps I deserve this kind of treatment? Well, you don't.

 

When we are taken for a ride, we look back and wonder how someone could treat us like that, how we could have been stupid enough to be taken for a ride, and why people like him seem to get away with it. There will probably be a journey through various emotions until you come to terms with it. The good thing is that you have a colleague who should understand and maybe you can support each other.

 

It's very difficult to know what to do next. You might have some legal redress; depends on the laws in your country. You could warn the agency about him, which might stop anyone else getting caught up in this.

 

Other than that, be kind to yourself, rest, do things that make you feel good and put this bad experience behind you as best you can. You have the integrity and commitment to go on to better things.

 

Thank you, those were some much needed kind words I needed to hear.

The agency has been warned, he broke their contract the day before I walked out. I don't believe they would ever do business with him again, as he has verbally abused their staff on several occasions.

 

I'm feeling much better this evening. I submitted a lengthy statement for the agency. At first I wasn't going to bother trying to get compensation for my bonuses, but the more I thought about it, why should I feel guilty for pursuing what I was promised? I was able to include screenshots with contact info for leads, which hopefully will be sufficient. Although my former employer could lie and say those leads didn't pan out, at least he'll be aware that someone is paying attention.

 

After reading my statement, I can't believe I stayed as long as I did. But I guess I just like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If I learned anything...get it all in writing! Words mean virtually nothing without a signature!

 

Thanks again, feeling much better right now.

[MrTurk]

 

After reading my statement, I can't believe I stayed as long as I did.

 

I cant believe you even fell for it to begin with, if what you wrote was close to word for word what you were told when you got hired, I would have been laughing in the guys face.

[pink_sugar]

It's amazing how some employers think you owe them notice. I remember quitting a job that treated me terribly...I gave a weeks notice and they gave me crap about "how it wouldn't fly anywhere else". For one, I don't owe them anything according to at will employment laws and I would give more notice for a job that treated me well. They should be thankful I even gave some notice...I could have walked out that day.

[Radu]

A good employer [read profitable even if total sleaze like this guy] will always know his rights and push them agressively while minimizing, blameshifting and gaslighting his way through his obligations towards his employees.

 

I think we all know what kind of a sleaze the guy in the OP is in his romantic relationships [mentioning it since we seem to forget that most ppl follow the same pattern in all relationships and we expect better professionally].

 

You were definitely abused CG.