Office birthday gifts/cakes/etc

[atlg8r]

I make an okay salary, but I am single with only one income. I am getting frustrated lately because my manager has mentioned to me and two other coworkers purchasing a cake or something, as well as flowers and/or a gift, for our student worker whose birthday is today.

 

Her last day is also next Friday, and she has now also mentioned taking her to lunch or "doing something nice" for her. I have my own student intern who is also leaving after next week but may be coming back for the fall. My manager now has mentioned doing something for her, too.

 

I do really like both student workers, and they do a great job. However, I am on a REALLY tight budget right now (recently moved, only one income, paying off student loans and other debt). My manager and one coworker are married so have two incomes. One of the coworkers is single like me.

 

Am I unjustified for feeling irritable that I'm being hit up to spend my own money on these gifts?

[Arabella]

Nope, not unjustified at all.

 

It's absolutely not your responsibility to spend your money on this. Lunches for promotions, birthdays and farewells should be paid by the manager of the employee, with company funds.

 

So, feel free to be very candid with them.

 

"I would love to help you plan anything the company wants to do and pay for, but I cannot afford such expenses on my budget."

 

And leave it at that. They will probably feel embarrassed once it hits them how inappropriate it was to ask you to spend your money on this.

[UpwardForward]

Everything considered, I would say your manager shouldn't be directing you to spend your money on other employees. When employees do things such as this it should be because they Want to.

 

If your manager pulls this again, I would ask if there's a company 'petty cash' fund you should know about.

 

(fool me once, phooey on me .. but fool me twice ... ..

[MsSmurf]

Well sure you're allowed to be irritated, especially because your boss can't really *require* you to pay for such a thing. Now if your boss wants to do something and says "hey if you guys want to chip in, feel free" then that's totally different. Since your boss didn't say that feel free to step up and do that yourself if you decide you want to. Something like "hey I know you're planning xyz and I wanted to chip in $ toward the costs. I'm on a budget, but still wanted to help out a little" should be fine.

 

An alternative if you decide you want to participate is offering to bake something. Everyone loves homemade goods, especially students as many are away from home. Even if your boss isn't wowed by the idea you could still go with that as your gift if you prefer. You might even be able to repurpose something from your home, especially if they're girls. Most people have unused candles, unopened bottles of lotion/bath salts, never been used picture frames, etc lying around that just need a bag and some tissue paper. It's not really about the cost, but the thought.

 

Ok so that other perspective to consider would be that of the student workers. I was a student worker all through college and absolutely loved it. I learned new things, met interesting people, and got to practice being a grown up lol. What I didn't love? The extremely low pay, no benefits, no sick time, and no holiday pay. Many students are supporting themselves and that's why so many are working multiple low paying jobs. Those student worker jobs are also much harder to find in our very lean economy because either the budgets are cut entirely for them or they're being filled by seasoned professionals.

 

My point here is think of how appreciative the student workers will be to have any sort of treat acknowledging their hard work. I was over the moon any time my fellow colleagues remembered my birthday, got me something around Christmas, or did something to celebrate my moving on. None of those things were really expensive (like a $20 gift card to Target or a gas card), but I was still really grateful to be acknowledged because a part of me often felt like they just saw me as *the student* and not a real employee even though I worked really hard. Also a $20 Target gift card goes really far and when I was getting them they didn't even have full grocery stores. And for me that $20 gift card often eased having to go unpaid for a whole day because I was sick or the office was closed for a holiday.

 

Regardless you have to do what YOU are comfortable with and stay within your means. If you truly value the work that the students have done and want to offer them a gift then do so and tell your boss you already got them something and are unable to participate in the group gift. If you'd rather go in on the group gift then stand your ground about the amount you contribute. I personally would not suggest you do nothing, but if that is your decision then stand your ground about that.

[atlg8r]

Thanks for the detailed responses. I wasn't sure if I was being cheap or unreasonable in being a little put off. I may take the candid route, because I really do have a very specific budget to allow me to pay off my student loans and other obligations!

 

Addition: I am even worried about doing something for my dad's birthday which is also this month! So I'm not being picky about who I can or cannot spend money for! Ha.

[UpwardForward]

Thanks for the detailed responses. I wasn't sure if I was being cheap or unreasonable in being a little put off. I may take the candid route, because I really do have a very specific budget to allow me to pay off my student loans and other obligations!

 

Addition: I am even worried about doing something for my dad's birthday which is also this month! So I'm not being picky about who I can or cannot spend money for! Ha.

 

So did you wind up spending any of your money on the office/going away party event?

[atlg8r]

So did you wind up spending any of your money on the office/going away party event?

 

I have not at the moment. If I'm asked about it again, I will probably use the line from one of the earlier posts, OR maybe offer to bake something.

[UpwardForward]

I have not at the moment. If I'm asked about it again, I will probably use the line from one of the earlier posts, OR maybe offer to bake something.

 

Oh. I thought the student worker's birthday was today. The cake would be for their going away party?

 

Yes, a good thing to let your manager know of your budget.

[ForeverHopeful1]

You make a certain amount of money, and you have places to put it. Simply tell your manager you don't have extra money laying around for random presents and gifts on a weekly basis. It is a nice thought and all, but you cannot participate as you are a one income household and need to put your money in certain places and don't have much for extras. Conversation done.

 

Let them know you cannot afford it at all, or you feel you should be paying half what they pay because they have two incomes. I would probably leave that part out, and just say you have bills to pay and things you need money for. I mean, you could always be a smart ass and say something like, "well, yeah, I will buy the cake, but then I wont be able to pay for gas to get me to work on Friday..... LONG WEEKEND!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

[mercuryshadow]

If your boss mentioned it, then it should be able to be expensed, put on the company "card" or taken from petty cash. You are not obligated to fund these kinds of things.