Col1 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) I work in a professional office. We have had the unspoken corporate culture of conservative attire. Our office hired a new college graduate a few weeks ago. She comes to work each day in tight jeans and cleavage popping out of her top. She is very pretty and in good shape. Her clothes appear expensive quality. Looks like she's ready to hit the bar scene after work. She acts, speaks, and handles business professionally. Just not appropriate clothing for office work IMO. Us heterosexual men aren't going to tell her how to dress because we enjoy the eye-candy, lol (plus, she's engaged). The other women in the office dress conservatively. Apparently the other women just gossip about it behind her back, but have not brought it up with her. Are women intimidated by other women who dress provocatively at work? Edited May 24, 2013 by Col1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Some are sure. But others are probably irritated that she isn't following their unspoken lead. Others might be irritated that she is perpetuating the office eye candy cliche . 4 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 What makes you think the women in your office would be intimidated by a young girl who is too stupid to realize what constitutes professional work attire? If anything, most either feel sorry for her or are mocking her. But intimidated? Doubtful for most professional women with any skills and confidence. 17 Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Are women intimidated by other women who dress provocatively at work? Yes. But they would never admit it. They just start scheming and back-biting each other to gain an advantage. There is nothing more vicious than a cat fight in the office. We have to report to the office about once every eight weeks; and all we hear is a "she said she said" strategy to get someone fired. It's rather comical tbh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Are women intimidated by other women who dress provocatively at work? When they are good looking, yes. I admit to being intimidated by it and I know not b*tching behind her back balances that out. It makes anyone look really bad when they are bitter about the 'competition'. Suck up and shut up and hope they gain weight eventually Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I'm so glad there are no women in my workplace...that is just a recipe for lots of drama... Though I'm often curious what it'd be like if I changed careers and came to a more gender-balanced office environment...I'm honestly not sure how I'd deal with it... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I'm so glad there are no women in my workplace...that is just a recipe for lots of drama... Though I'm often curious what it'd be like if I changed careers and came to a more gender-balanced office environment...I'm honestly not sure how I'd deal with it... There isn't drama like this at all in our office but I worked in places where there was and the two female bosses I had in the past ended up hating me. Nowdays I report to men. Problem solved With all seriousness I think a lot of it is age and career related. Where I work most people late 20s - early 40s and are quite successful. This takes out the need for bitching a fair bit. As a man you would just listen to it occasionally, it wouldn't affect your life. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 As a man you would just listen to it occasionally, it wouldn't affect your life. But from what I've heard, it can certainly affect those who are in positions to lead others, men and women. The military certainly develops a certain culture amongst it's members, and the Marine Corps is no exception. I've heard stories of those who had difficulties transitioning to civilian life and having to adjust to a "gentler" atmosphere...e.g., making female employees cry for what would be normal leadership for us, lowered expectations of obedience from subordinates, etc. And of course there's the office drama between personalities...I mean, we have it too, but rank tends to take care of that real quick and in a hurry. I don't know if the civilian world affords leaders that ability to squelch trivial nonsense from employees... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 But from what I've heard, it can certainly affect those who are in positions to lead others, men and women. The military certainly develops a certain culture amongst it's members, and the Marine Corps is no exception. I've heard stories of those who had difficulties transitioning to civilian life and having to adjust to a "gentler" atmosphere...e.g., making female employees cry for what would be normal leadership for us, lowered expectations of obedience from subordinates, etc. And of course there's the office drama between personalities...I mean, we have it too, but rank tends to take care of that real quick and in a hurry. I don't know if the civilian world affords leaders that ability to squelch trivial nonsense from employees... You can't shout at people in the office Hokie The police can be like that too. I had a sergeant getting wound up and red in the face because he thought everyone was running late, I was the only one in the room with him. Luckily when I explained he got the time wrong he calmed down but it was touch and go for a moment You can't do that in an office but I think it affects those most that don't know non-military personnel. From what I have seen, those that struggle to adjust are perhaps not best equipped when it comes to social skills. Armed police are all crazy by nature but they behave differently talking to volunteers like us than to their own or to terrorists they are about to shoot Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I work in a professional office. We have had the unspoken corporate culture of conservative attire. Our office hired a new college graduate a few weeks ago. She comes to work each day in tight jeans and cleavage popping out of her top. She is very pretty and in good shape. Her clothes appear expensive quality. Looks like she's ready to hit the bar scene after work. She acts, speaks, and handles business professionally. Just not appropriate clothing for office work IMO. Us heterosexual men aren't going to tell her how to dress because we enjoy the eye-candy, lol (plus, she's engaged). The other women in the office dress conservatively. Apparently the other women just gossip about it behind her back, but have not brought it up with her. Are women intimidated by other women who dress provocatively at work? No. But the dress code should be covered in the employee handbook so HR should address this. I know when I got my first office job out of college I got "dinged" one time because my skirt was too short! I had no idea! I got it at a regular clothing store, was more than appropriate for college and never crossed my mind that it was too short; so embarassing! And it was another woman who complained. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 No. But the dress code should be covered in the employee handbook so HR should address this. I know when I got my first office job out of college I got "dinged" one time because my skirt was too short! I had no idea! I got it at a regular clothing store, was more than appropriate for college and never crossed my mind that it was too short; so embarassing! And it was another woman who complained. I would never work in a place like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Eh, it was too short. Most places have dress codes and I am like having a dress code. It really depends on the office and the industry but it serves a purpose. My current company is more lax on the dress code but as we have grown we have needed to tighten it up, what some people will wear to work is just crazy. Business casual does not mean pajama bottoms, 'k? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Eh, it was too short. Most places have dress codes and I am like having a dress code. It really depends on the office and the industry but it serves a purpose. My current company is more lax on the dress code but as we have grown we have needed to tighten it up, what some people will wear to work is just crazy. Business casual does not mean pajama bottoms, 'k? I make it my personal ambition to push the dress code as far as possible in every company I work in Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Since she is a young woman she probably doesn't have the money for a work wardrobe and a club wardrobe so she chooses to wear her party clothes to work. When you are that young party clothes are more important. I've seen women get jealous over these girls but I feel like everyone is young once so let her enjoy her youth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Since she is a young woman she probably doesn't have the money for a work wardrobe and a club wardrobe so she chooses to wear her party clothes to work. When you are that young party clothes are more important. I've seen women get jealous over these girls but I feel like everyone is young once so let her enjoy her youth. Very true, I've only in the last year or so really invested in a work wardrobe. It's not something a lot of young 20-somethings really think about. I wouldn't be intimidated, but I would be irritated. She's kind of setting herself up for a bad situation though, no? If you guys have a dress code policy and she's not following it....what if someone looks at her in a way she doesn't like? Sexual harassment can happen to anyone but if the company's not doing all they can to prevent it can't they be seen at fault in a harassment claim? If there's no policy then I guess it's not really a big deal. But it just seems like it can lead to a bad situation really quickly if anyone acts inappropriately towards her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I agree that she may not know but education starts somewhere. So having an informed and neutral third party, HR or her manager, is a good first step in understand work attire, work persona and development of her career. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 More likely, other women in the office are embarrassed for her for being so clueless about what is proper office attire. Or they may question what her motives are for wearing it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ursa Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I'm honestly not sure what would be intimidating about that, it's kind of an odd question. I mean, I have tits too, big whoop. How I felt about how she dressed would probably have a lot to do with her personality. Does she seem like she's scheming to bewitch the boss with her heaving bosom? That would be annoying, not intimidating. Is she attention-whoring? That suggests she has self-esteem problems and I would pity her, not be intimidated by her. Is she just young and boobie-exuberant? That happens sometimes. She'll probably grow out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
icedlatte Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 No, women won't be intimidated by her. It's more like having second hand embarrassment when they're around her. She reflects poorly on behalf of the company. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 At work it is unprofessional to dress sexy or to call attention to oneself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
firemanq Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 She is probably not aware that her dress is inappropriate. I hired a young lady to work in an automotive parts department. The first day she showed up in tight white pants and a frilly white blouse. She looked good. Really good! White was a poor when part of her job was running parts out to the mechanics on the line. And bringing greasy parts to the counter when we needed to match up parts. I do not remember if I talked to her or delegated that to the office ladies. The next day she dressed in blue jeans and a more appropriate top. She still looked good. The younger generation is not aware of all the nuances of the job. She needs to be given a heads up as to the unspoken dress code. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Col1 Posted May 25, 2013 Author Share Posted May 25, 2013 She needs to be given a heads up as to the unspoken dress code. The women at my work aren't talking to her about this because they might be somewhat jealous (and possibly intimidated). She's challenging the office culture of conservative attire, and she's not following the lead of the other "queen bee" women. I sense drama in the near future. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 The women at my work aren't talking to her about this because they might be somewhat jealous (and possibly intimidated). She's challenging the office culture of conservative attire, and she's not following the lead of the other "queen bee" women. I sense drama in the near future. Why would it be the women's job to tell her? Don't you have an HR or a boss who's responsibility it is to address just such drama inducing situations? (Now stop thinking about her clothes and get back to work! ) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 The women at my work aren't talking to her about this because they might be somewhat jealous (and possibly intimidated). She's challenging the office culture of conservative attire, and she's not following the lead of the other "queen bee" women. I sense drama in the near future. It's not as simple as that by any stretch of the imagination. Telling this woman that she is dressing inappropriately is like telling a colleague they have BO. It is not a nice thing to do and they are all probably hoping her line manager will talk to her - s/he is the one who should do this anyway. Would I be intimidated by such dress? No way. Would I think she is being unprofessional? Possibly - hard to tell unless I knew your place of work. Would I talk about her behind her back? No. That too would be unprofessional. By the way - please note that you are also talking about this woman behind her back by posting here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 The women at my work aren't talking to her about this because they might be somewhat jealous (and possibly intimidated). You're really reaching and assuming here, and possibly projecting how you'd feel if there was an attractive new guy in the office. Straight up: Women aren't intimidated or jealous of another woman's unprofessional attire/behavior. Why would we be? It's unprofessional. She's doing herself a disservice, not any of us. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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