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forced birthday parties at work normal or no?


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truthbetold

Background on my wacko office is on some previous threads. Pretty much every month we have a party for who ever has a birthday that month. Sometimes it is more than one person mostly though it's just one so it seems we have a party pretty much every single month.

 

If we were an office that truly got along together that would be one thing. But there's a whole lot of back stabbing and drama queens for no good reason.

 

These parties must be attended by all. A sign up sheet is posted for what you are making/bringing. Frankly I don't like to waste my time in the evening prepping for something that they inevitably will complain about anyway. If I buy something pre made they bitch that I didn't put in effort :rolleyes: Well no, duh after repeated efforts of mine being a waste, yeah I get sick of the effort.

 

The company pays for cake and ice cream and everyone else brings basically snacks. Another thing is I don't care to eat a bunch of garbage all day either. I go to parties etc...and have guac and chips on my own, but I'm at work to work, not party with a bunch of people who's favorite past time is to back stab and gossip.

 

On top of it a card gets passed around and we have to light candles and SING!!!:eek: Seriously are we 5 years old here or what?:confused:

 

Do any of you find this over the top and weird? I know I need to get out of there and I'm working on it.

 

I could see a group of "friends" from the work place going out for drinks or whatever. But "forced" parties? Isn't that a little nuts?

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It's pretty standard fare in most offices, the attempt to promote team cohesion and a more pleasant work environment.

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In nine years at my company, I've never seen a single one that I remember. I really appreciate that. They used to bring in a monthly birthday cake, but no one really knew whose birthdays were that month. People just liked the free cake.

 

Our legal department strongly advises against "fun" birthday celebrations where people get any kind of good-natured teasing about their age.

 

We also don't do secret Santa or any other forced celebrations. Thank God.

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truthbetold
In nine years at my company, I've never seen a single one that I remember. I really appreciate that. They used to bring in a monthly birthday cake, but no one really knew whose birthdays were that month. People just liked the free cake.

 

Our legal department strongly advises against "fun" birthday celebrations where people get any kind of good-natured teasing about their age.

 

We also don't do secret Santa or any other forced celebrations. Thank God.

 

See that I can get. If you want the cake fine and not all the hoopla, like the singing. I just can't relate to disingenuous singing it's completely awkward. That's stuff true friends and family do for you, not this fake crap. When I told management I wanted them to skip my birthday, I was told I "had" to have one!

 

It's just odd though. Monday-Thursday we eat lunch on shifts, on Fridays everyone is expected to go "together" but we don't go out because it's only a 1/2 hour. If you want to go somewhere else for the 1/2 hour (like another building that has a nice courtyard and water fountain) they get all mean and ridiculous and talk about you like you have a problem.:rolleyes: Yeah, I do have a problem I don't like batchit crazy co-workers. 2 years of this crazy train is enough.

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Background on my wacko office is on some previous threads. Pretty much every month we have a party for who ever has a birthday that month. Sometimes it is more than one person mostly though it's just one so it seems we have a party pretty much every single month.

 

If we were an office that truly got along together that would be one thing. But there's a whole lot of back stabbing and drama queens for no good reason.

 

These parties must be attended by all. A sign up sheet is posted for what you are making/bringing. Frankly I don't like to waste my time in the evening prepping for something that they inevitably will complain about anyway. If I buy something pre made they bitch that I didn't put in effort :rolleyes: Well no, duh after repeated efforts of mine being a waste, yeah I get sick of the effort.

 

The company pays for cake and ice cream and everyone else brings basically snacks. Another thing is I don't care to eat a bunch of garbage all day either. I go to parties etc...and have guac and chips on my own, but I'm at work to work, not party with a bunch of people who's favorite past time is to back stab and gossip.

 

On top of it a card gets passed around and we have to light candles and SING!!!:eek: Seriously are we 5 years old here or what?:confused:

 

Do any of you find this over the top and weird? I know I need to get out of there and I'm working on it.

 

I could see a group of "friends" from the work place going out for drinks or whatever. But "forced" parties? Isn't that a little nuts?

 

I know that smaller offices tend to do this. I can't stand forced socializing and , like you, I am there to work not be friends with my coworkers. I have no interest in doing the above. :sick:

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In nine years at my company, I've never seen a single one that I remember. I really appreciate that. They used to bring in a monthly birthday cake, but no one really knew whose birthdays were that month. People just liked the free cake.

 

Our legal department strongly advises against "fun" birthday celebrations where people get any kind of good-natured teasing about their age.

 

We also don't do secret Santa or any other forced celebrations. Thank God.

 

You have to look at religious discrimination as well as Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate birthdays.

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I could see a group of "friends" from the work place going out for drinks or whatever. But "forced" parties? Isn't that a little nuts?

No, we have cake when someone wants to bring one in and those that wish to have a couple of beers after hours can organise a do. Our local pub is opposite our building and we all have discount cards :laugh: I guess in our office there is no need for encouragement.

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We also don't do secret Santa or any other forced celebrations. Thank God.

We have secret Santa but I can tolerate that. It is completely secret. You just get a present and that's it.

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Citizen Erased

We get cupcakes at the end of every month but those are just put in the break room. Also we do decorate a persons desk/office when it's their birthday. I tend to volunteer to help with that cos people put things up crooked and it drives me nuts looking at it.

 

I don't know, I'm not the most social person in the world but it doesn't kill me to spend a little time off the clock with my coworkers. Well, apart from a couple of them.

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vanhalenfan

I would definitely not care for that! I don't like it when people celebrate my birthday in that manner (cake/singing) - being about 30 now. I kind of think birthday parties of THAT nature are for kids. It's one thing to go out with friends and celebrate, though. That's all good :laugh: I hate forced office parties. I used to work in an office like that, but instead, certain people's birthdays were discluded if they weren't 'popular' or well-liked. It looked terrible on the company. I actually wish I was one of them as I didn't want that kind of party in the office! Unfortunately I had to endure 3 of those parties in my 4 years there. I guess in the first year I wasn't popular enough yet...haha

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Truthbetold, let me guess -- you have mostly women working in your office.

 

I hate the forced merriment, too, plus I've stopped eating cake.

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Do any of you find this over the top and weird? I know I need to get out of there and I'm working on it.

 

Compulsory parties for people you don't like and with whom you already spend a significant amount of compulsory time each week is completely miserable. I don't think office parties or birthday acknowledgements are ubiquitously a bad thing; they help personalize the office and boost morale (at least in theory), but when it involves extra planning on other people's part (like cooking on your off hours--NO WAY would I agree to that), it's over the top.

 

Honestly, in light of your other threads you really should start looking for another job. The office culture of this company clearly is not compatible with your values. It's not worth it to stick it out when your coworkers are so unlikeable and this party crap goes on each month.

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