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Negative work environment - references??


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I've complained before that I work in an extremely negative work environment. I am now ready to leave.

 

One of my concerns is who on earth can I use from here as a reference? The woman I was planning to ask has gone on maternity leave and by the time she comes back (if she does) I may not be there anymore. I am unwilling and unable to wait until that time. She did stop by one day to visit but I felt it would be inappropriate to ask her to be a reference for me, knowing she is at home just doing her family thing with the new baby probably not wanting to be bothered there with phone calls like that.

 

The two people in my department who have been there longer than me whom I've been working with all year speak down to me all the time. The one woman probably would say nice things about me for the most part I guess. I trust her to be honest in her opinion, and I've never heard her say anything truly nasty or mean-spirited about anyone so I don't think she would try to sabotage me, but I still feel uncomfortable asking her.

 

There are two people I feel comfortable asking, who are in supervisory type positions over me but I don't work directly with them very often so I don't know if it would make sense to ask them.

 

There is one person I got off on the wrong foot with at first but we get along well now. We have worked together a little bit just fixing things to make the workplace better, but overall I haven't known her very long so I don't know if she's a good person to ask.

 

I am literally having trouble sleeping tonight, just tossing and turning wondering what to do. The more I am exposed to good people, like new people who remind me of how I used to be - all positive and good-intentioned and - the more I see what this place is doing to me, making me so indifferent and worn down.

 

I have considered asking my actual boss to be a reference, and he probably would, and would do a fair review but somehow that feels weird to ask him probably because I dislike him. But I guess I can't let my dislike of him get in the way. I don't know.

 

What do you think?

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I actually plan on using my co-workers as references when I quit. I also plan to put down one of them was my supervisor and not my actual boss. I just don't trust him.

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Why do you need to use your current employer as a reference? Usually a company will want to call and verify your information with HR but usually it is name, end date, and will ask if they will rehire. Due to slander issues, most companies won't say anything more than that. My company only says name, length of employment and position. We will not get into rehire, issues, etc. Even though legally you can state factual information it isn't worth the nuisance of a lawsuit.

 

Give references that can speak for you but most companies do not expect to see your current employer.

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I'd suggest listing your boss's name as your work reference, although you can ask that the prospective employer not contact them, since you are still working there. Hopefully, there are other jobs you've had in the past where you have a good record and can list your boss there as a reference.

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You need to put your boss or HR for reference. Is there are reason why you think your boss wouldn't give you a decent one? It didn't seem so from your post. It is the professional thing to do.

 

If you are worried that he gets contacted while you are still working there, ask your potential future employer to only call/write to your boss once they are prepared to give you a job offer (ie job offer is guaranteed subject to reference check). It's common practice in the UK.

 

Second best option is HR.

 

Employers can get suspicious when someone has only a colleague who is prepared to be a referee, they tend to ask for the position of the person who is providing the reference and colleagues/peers don't hold much weight.

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I have considered asking my actual boss to be a reference, and he probably would, and would do a fair review but somehow that feels weird to ask him probably because I dislike him. But I guess I can't let my dislike of him get in the way. I don't know.

 

What do you think?

 

I had a boss years ago who f*cked up my chances of a promotion by saying I lacked confidence (I had gone for a feedback interview and wangled the details of theh reference out of the woman). I decided I wanted out of that organisation (local authority work) completely. So I went for another job in the private sector the moment I was turned down for the promotion, and then I went to see my boss to discuss the previous reference with him.

 

His attitude was very smug and "what didn't you disagree with in my reference?" I'd expected that, as we didn't really get along, so I was ready with "well, confidence or lack thereof is down to subjective assessment, but you could have mentioned my time-keeping, lack of sickness leave and the fact that I carry the highest caseload in the team without incurring overtime. All things that could be objectively measured and would have put me in a favourable light. Did you consider any of those aspects of my performance when you gave the reference?"

 

He was a bit embarrassed, and I then went for my next move which was "never mind...what's done is done but I've gone for another post, I think they'll be contacting you soon for a reference and I wonder if we could discuss what sort of reference you'd be giving me?"

 

He gave me a great reference, I got the new job and there were no hard feelings about the previous not so glowing reference. It's not really all that relevant whether you and your boss get along on a personal level. So long as you're doing your job well (and in any job, "doing your job well" should be something capable of fairly objective measurement") he should be capable of giving you a decent reference.

 

I doubt he would make the process of asking for a reference awkward for you as that would be pretty unprofessional, but resolve that even if he does you're going to take a "water off a duck's back" approach. You're entitled to move on, professionally, you're entitled to ask for a fair reference from your current employers...and it really shouldn't be a) a big deal or b) a matter of whether or not he likes you personally.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Okay thank you. I do have a couple of other people from previous jobs that I can use as references. I guess I was just blowing things up in my mind and getting worried how it would look if I didn't really have anyone from my current job to use as reference.

 

I don't mind asking my boss. I really don't think he would hold it against me if someone called him while I still work there. And I think he would give a fair reference of me.

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