Employees with kids/special privileges?

[pink_sugar]

I've worked a few jobs, especially retail, where it seems like people with kids get special treatment over those without kids. A good example is having to work later to clean-up the store...which being able to work late is required of all employees. I had a coworker with a 10 year old and 15 year old who would always make a point to say she needed to leave early to be home with her kids...and she got to leave early. She also lived with her mom...so the kids weren't alone. She would do this excessively and it almost seemed like an excuse to leave early while the rest of us had to stay. I thought it was very unfair. I was a student and I still had to stay and work late despite having class in the early morning. But this woman with teenage children got to leave early all the time. In my opinion...if you cannot perform the hours indicated by the job position...don't apply for the job. There are plenty of people with and without kids willing to work the hours needed to have a JOB. People can have all kinds of reasoning for needing to leave earlier and people with kids shouldn't be treated any differently than those without. You chose to have kids...there shouldn't be any special circumstances. I understood my dad would have to work late all the time...he did what he had to to provide for us, even if he wasn't home all time.

[january2011]

Unfortunately, I think this is a can of worms, pink_sugar. While I'm not unsympathetic because I usually find myself in your position, all I can say is that you might think differently if you were the person with kids who got to leave on time. Then it'll be your turn to throw a, "see you suckers," at the people who have to stay behind.

[WhatYouWantToHear]

Now, I'm not a doctor, but I think you have an acute case of middlechilditis. It mostly affects people with both an older and younger sibling. Usually they see what everyone who came before them got and feel entitled to that. They also see what everyone after them got and feel resentful for anything they didn't get.

 

Middlechilditis symptoms include ranting about 'justice', 'fair' and 'unfair'. These people are generally pleasant when things are going their way, but can turn very bitter at the slightest slight. Their happiness is always externally focused and can never just be happy or content for long.

 

Unfortunately there is no cure.

[carhill]

You solve this by being the boss and firing the people who don't follow company policy. Short of that, either work to the rule or move to a competitor and drive the boss who coddles parents out of business.

 

Strictly speaking, these parents who abuse company policy and/or lenience have the right idea. They are doing what's best for themselves, to the absolute limit of tolerance. That's what business is about. Greed is good.

 

Your father, like my father, dead many years now, are the past. I respect the past but acknowledge the present. Adapt or die; one of the primary tenets of business.

 

This post may sound harsh but it is the result of over a quarter century in the business environment as an owner. From that perspective, the employee in the OP who appears to be getting special privileges had better be nailing their portion of my bottom line or they're gone; simple as that. If they can do that and attend to their children, more power to them. Kids are cool. I like kids. Business is business. Metrics today are so easily structured, quantified and tracked. We can even tell if their need to pick up their children at school is accurate, since their vehicle is tracked via satellite. It better be at the school when they said

[liquid_amber]

i agree with the OP on this one. people with kids should not get special treatment in the workplace. if you are unable to work the scheduled shift, you are not doing your job. the reason you are unable to do the job is irrelevant. whether it's because of kids or some other reason, if you can't do the work it's unfair to your coworkers.

[Nyla]

Now, I'm not a doctor, but I think you have an acute case of middlechilditis. It mostly affects people with both an older and younger sibling. Usually they see what everyone who came before them got and feel entitled to that. They also see what everyone after them got and feel resentful for anything they didn't get.

 

Middlechilditis symptoms include ranting about 'justice', 'fair' and 'unfair'. These people are generally pleasant when things are going their way, but can turn very bitter at the slightest slight. Their happiness is always externally focused and can never just be happy or content for long.

 

Unfortunately there is no cure.

 

Cute. I used to have this affliction until I grew more mature. There are gifts in being denied things that older and younger children receive. I am far more independent than my spoiled younger brother is.

 

I don't think this has anything to do with a personality flaw on the OP's part though.

 

She is asking why parents should receive special treatment in the workplace. What does that have to do with always wanting her own way?

 

Parents will always receive leniency at work because the world respects the task of raising children.

[pink_sugar]

i agree with the OP on this one. people with kids should not get special treatment in the workplace. if you are unable to work the scheduled shift, you are not doing your job. the reason you are unable to do the job is irrelevant. whether it's because of kids or some other reason, if you can't do the work it's unfair to your coworkers.

 

Exactly, especially if you're a salaried employee and another employee getting paid the same is putting in equal or more work to overcompensate. I can understand to some extent if you have a baby or toddler... But definitely not teenage children and just taking advantage of the job letting you leave early.

[threebyfate]

Is this woman less productive than you?

[veggirl]

yes it is obnoxious when it seems abused. I have had coworkers who bring their kids to the office every day at 3pm. They were very good friends with the boss, so they got away with it. The kids would be in our office every day after school until 6pm. And of course coworker had to take lunch at 2:30 each day to pick them up, though we were always told lunches need to be "on the hour" (at 1pm or 2pm).

 

I don't blame the parent, I blame the boss. It was pointless to complain, boss didn't care if they were there.

[xxoo]

The manager could say no.

 

If the manager does not, maybe it is because this worker is valuable in ways that compensate for limited availability.

[rainfall]

Parents will always receive leniency at work because the world respects the task of raising children.

 

 

It shouldn't be this way though. The parent knows the requirements of the job and they should be expected to fill out their shift. Someone esle shouldn't have to pick up the slack of another employee just because that other employee has a child.

[veggirl]

It shouldn't be this way though. The parent knows the requirements of the job and they should be expected to fill out their shift. Someone esle shouldn't have to pick up the slack of another employee just because that other employee has a child.

 

yeah when I was in college, I worked retail and I remember a lady who was seemingly always looking for someone to cover her shifts for whatever reason related to her children. I said sure if I wanted to do it, and no when I didn't. She would actually ask "well do you have plans?" if I told her no I didn't want to work for her and she'd get soo huffy if I didn't have plans but still didnt want to work for her. Even the dept manager told me that was "cruel" to say no if I was free!

[Nyla]

It shouldn't be this way though. The parent knows the requirements of the job and they should be expected to fill out their shift. Someone esle shouldn't have to pick up the slack of another employee just because that other employee has a child.

 

I agree. I just don't think that most employers think this way.

[pink_sugar]

It shouldn't be this way though. The parent knows the requirements of the job and they should be expected to fill out their shift. Someone esle shouldn't have to pick up the slack of another employee just because that other employee has a child.

 

Exactly. If one employee gets to leave...it's really not fair to the other employees.

[Art_Critic]

Are you being paid to stay later ?

[xxoo]

The best workers generally are rewarded. Someone who consistently leaves early may keep their job, but may not be chosen for advancement.

 

The person without kids might be able to dedicate more hours to work, which will benefit their career.

 

Fair.

[Got it]

If this is an issue for you, why not speak with your manager and see what they have to say. I don't think your's is the only job that tends to leave students with the short end of the selections. I was speaking to a kid at the grocery store, right before the midnight closing who said that he and other students were the ones with these late shifts. On one hand, if you are more entry or less senior, it is less likely you can cherry pick the times and duties. On the other hand, the job description is the job description and should be followed.

 

I would sit down with your manager and go over what the expectations are for the position, and if staying late is a requirement for that position. If you take a "help me help you" approach you will be able to get your point across in a positive and well intended manner.

[Emilia]

I had to deal with something similar while a colleague of mine was back from maternity leave and now she is back on another one with her second child. She was working part time and when she 'worked from home' when her son was sick, I ended up covering the work for her because her internet connection wasn't good enough to handle the large databases we work with.

 

If it had been going on for years I would have complained but I knew she was going to get preggas again soon and she did. In theory she might come back but we have new management now and they won't tolerate what my previous boss tolerated - who was too weak a leader. His view was that people were allowed to mould their work conditions even if it was detrimental to the company. The issue with this is that if we all had the same attitude, the company would go bust It's not sustainable.

 

Children are the future workforce, completely understand but unfortunately the world is not set up for individual's convenience. The fact that my colleague was allowed to come back to work part time 3 days a week when her position would have required covering it the full week, made the department look amateurish and a bit like the public sector. I take pride in where I work, I hate this sort of slack nonsense.

 

My views align closest to carhill's I think, even just as a department manager.

[Sugarkane]

I agree with the OP. One woman at work is always allowed to arrive late/ leave early because of her children. Yet other people also have children, yet don't get this special treatment. How does that work? My boss would've sacked/ told them to leave and not come back if this was anyone else.

I rarely take time off, yet get told off with a smart arse answer if I have to leave early/ take the day off. It's a complete utter joke.

[TwinkletOes26]

I notice it too sugar. I had a coworker who would always need me to cover for her while she went to pick her child up from school.It always had to be her not her non working boyfriend who did nothing but come up to the job and talk to her and talk crap very loudly about our coworkers including a manager .

 

Anyways i know this thread will soon descend into "wait till you have kids" or "you just dont get it cos you dont have children" im sorry these dont fly with me...my mother was a teacher and had to work several nights until about 7 pm to get ready for class the next day(this is why she was always the teacher with the highest test scores in her school district). She never took time off UNLESS I was sick and even then shed only take off one day.

 

I agree people should realize children are a choice and you must take responsibility for that choice. When a business allows that kind of unfairness it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There is a term for it...its called singlism. It is discrimination against people who are unmarried/and or childless. I know having a child is time consuming and COSTLY which is why I am now 30 and STILL dont want a child yet. When/If i have a child i will make sure i have proper child care ready BEFORE they arrive.

 

I know stuff happens and yes we need to be flexible when it comes to this but also on the other side managers should also be flexible when the childless people have emergencies too. Your child should not be an excuse to dip out of work early tis all..

[liquid_amber]

I notice it too sugar. I had a coworker who would always need me to cover for her while she went to pick her child up from school.It always had to be her not her non working boyfriend who did nothing but come up to the job and talk to her and talk crap very loudly about our coworkers including a manager .

 

Anyways i know this thread will soon descend into "wait till you have kids" or "you just dont get it cos you dont have children" im sorry these dont fly with me...my mother was a teacher and had to work several nights until about 7 pm to get ready for class the next day(this is why she was always the teacher with the highest test scores in her school district). She never took time off UNLESS I was sick and even then shed only take off one day.

 

I agree people should realize children are a choice and you must take responsibility for that choice. When a business allows that kind of unfairness it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. There is a term for it...its called singlism. It is discrimination against people who are unmarried/and or childless. I know having a child is time consuming and COSTLY which is why I am now 30 and STILL dont want a child yet. When/If i have a child i will make sure i have proper child care ready BEFORE they arrive.

 

I know stuff happens and yes we need to be flexible when it comes to this but also on the other side managers should also be flexible when the childless people have emergencies too. Your child should not be an excuse to dip out of work early tis all..

 

well said.