Was he playing games?

[abiyes]

Good afternoon to all,

 

here is my story, I have been working at my current job (which is not related to my field of work) for about 6 months now and over the past 4 months, I met a man at work who seemed ineterested in me (unless I'm blind and totally out of touch with reality) at least I thought that he was. He used to come to talk to me everyday after work, invited me for lunch, wanted to know every little detail about my life. He even asked me for a date last month, but unfortunately that day, I already had something else planned.

 

I also heard by several collegues at work that he is very single (not dating anyone). He is 43 y/o I'm 31. But 2 days ago, I told him that I had an interview for an engineering job (my field of work) at another company, yesterday morning. So on the spot he wished me good luck and seemed happy for me.

 

As soon as I was done with the interview, I got to work yesterday afternoon. I noticed a change in him. He was taking his lunch break in the cafeteria which is just beside the employees locker room. As soon as I entered he saw me and gave me the coldest look. He didn't even aknowledge the big smile that I gave him. After I put my coat in the locker room and walked back near the door where he was sitting, he was rubbing the back of another woman very affectionately while looking at me straght in the eyes. (he is affectionate with everyone at work).

 

Also later during the day, he sent me an email to ask how my interview went. I told him that it went very well. So out of the blue, during the conversation, he tells me that he has a girlfriend who loves him to death....? Something that he never mentioned before.

 

I started to develop feelings for this man, but I'm wondering, was he playing games all along...?

 

All advices will be welcomed, thanks for reading me.

[moimeme]

Could be. Sounds as though he thought you were a potential 'bit on the side' and is ticked that you, who appeared to be a 'possible' for him, may go away.

[SoleMate]

I'm wondering, was he playing games all along...?

Yes, he was leading you on and hiding an important part of his life from you.

 

All advices will be welcomed, thanks for reading me.

First of all, be grateful that this didn't go any farther. I know you have some pain now, but it's nothing compared to what you'd have if you were in a serious love affair that broke up like this.

 

Look for younger men, and make sure to check for singleness early on in the relationship. A single guy without a live-in girlfriend will usually let you call or visit his house any time, or send perfumed letters to his home address. An attached guy won't.

 

Enjoy your new job and find your love interests OUTSIDE of work. It keeps life so much simpler and happier!

[abiyes]

for your wise reply. You are entirely right and I know it. I already feel less sad today since I have a girlfriend who is helping me get through it too. I just have to keep myself busy and move on. Thanks very much again for the advice!

 

have a great week-end!

marie

[duncan11]

Being a guy myself, I'd think this guy thought he had a shot with you, and when he asked you out for him at least it either she says yes, and anything other than a yes which in your case would devastate this guy, especially if he had very strong feelings for you. Coping mechanisms after a so-called non-yes could be the guy backing off, showing limited interest, therefore cold-looks/being more playful with other female co-workers/etc. This girlfriend thing could even be made up, have you ever seen her with him? My suggestion to you if you do have feelings for this guy is to ask him out to lunch and see what happens. Usually if a guy asked a girl out once and didn't get a positive response, the guy wouldn't ask her out again anytime soon, so make your move if you want him that is. Other things you could do is ask him directly if he's dating anyone, and if he says no, you could say "interesting" and walk away coyly. If he doesn't get this hint then he might be brain dead.