Jump to content

Boss is an alcoholic, and deeply depressed


Recommended Posts

My new boss has been through a roller coaster split with his wife, then reconciliation, and now finally they are getting divorced. He's a functional alcoholic, and he has spiraled into what appears to be a deep depression. I'm worried that he's contemplating suicide. I've seen other guys go through divorce at work. I've never seen anything quite like this.

 

I don't know what to do. On a human level, I want to talk to our boss privately to urge him to get help. On a work level, I don't want to jeopardize his position. We are decent friends, and he has confided in me probably more than he should. I feel like he's reaching out because he knows he's completely out of control.

 

A colleague has been pressuring me to do something about it. But getting involved is a very tricky thing in cases of alcoholism. But I don't know if I could live with myself if he did something and I didn't try to do something about it.

 

I wish I knew what to do.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I've considered that. I'm worried that it'll be obvious that it's me though. If he asked, I'd be mortified. :/

Link to post
Share on other sites

Suggest he see his doctor to see if can be referred to a counsellor at this 'difficult time'. Suggest he talk to the doc about his ways of coping at the moment, e.g. by drinking 'a bit more than usual'. There are also relationship counsellors that he could see - they often help people whose relationship has broken up not just those who stay together. Perhaps you could offer to go with him to see a doc or counsellor for the first time, just a bit of moral support. I know that this would be difficult for an employee though and you might not want to go that far.

 

You are already doing a lot by listening though you might not think so. You might find it helpful to talk to local mental health and alcohol abuse services to find out what is around. It might become obvious then what service might be of most help. Perhaps he could be encouraged to let you contact an organisation on his behalf to facilitate an introduction with someone there who can help him with his depression and drinking.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Daphne,

My background is drug and alcohol counseling. And, although it is easy enough to plant a brochure from AA, I wouldn't suggest you doing that. If your gut is telling you he is reaching out, than your gut is right. Our guts are really our Spirituality, our intuition, and they don't lie to us. You might try just asking him if he is ok...and follow that up with is there anything I can do for you? or let me know if there is anything I can do for you. You are in a sticky place...I feel for you. If you are a Spiritual person, I would definitely tap into your Higher Power before you say anything to him. Pray, ask your Higher Power to give you the words and the timing...your Higher Power will do that for you and for your boss. God Bless You for listening to your boss and for wanting to do the right thing. I will pray for both of you...Kelly

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author

Thanks for the support and advice guys. Things got worse and I was on the verge of going to HR. I didn't know what else to do. The guy has always been drunk at work, but he got so drunk he was snoring at his desk, and became incoherent at meetings. Plus, he was only there 3-4 hours of the day.

 

Then, I spoke up to the project manager and she had an intervention with him. He went to our boss and checked himself into detox. The next week he came and talked to me, apologized and said he's getting his act together.

 

I am hopeful for him. I really hope he can do it. Unfortunately, however, i know from our conversation that he's in denial that he's going to have to stop drinking altogether to make it out. And I smelled alcohol on him the day after our heart felt conversation. I've contacted a couple of recruiters, updated my resume and am out looking. While I was busy running around trying to do my job and his, I was getting yelled at while the project manager smiled benignly at him and ignored his shenanigans. Talk about dysfunctional.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...