Telling boss my personal issues

[girl1015]

I had no choice but to tell him that I am in a shelter because he wanted me to work overtime and I could not because there is a curfew for 11pm all residents must be there or face the possibility of being discharged.(and right now I don't have anywhere else to go)I hate telling people my personal business but prior to this I have been late for work because I've been too busy looking for apartments or rooms to rent also work has been calling my old home so I haven't been receiving the messages and last week they got so fed up with me they cancelled my shift on Saturday.

I feel extremely overwhelmed !!!!!!!

[Taramere]

I don't think personal circumstances like that can really be concealed from an employer, girl 1015. Particularly when they affect your work - eg because you're unable to do certain shifts.

 

Was your employer sympathetic to your situation?

 

One of the things that strikes me about this is that it seems very wrong that a shelter would impose a curfew that would have this impact on your ability to work. I think this would be something to discuss with a manager at the shelter. I don't know what the nature of this shelter is, and if you don't want to volunteer that info that's fine (in fact I'd recommend keeping any identifying details out, when posting about a situations like this.

 

Whatever the nature of the shelter I should have though that having respect for residents' employment requirements should be a high enough priority to allow for some flexibility regarding curfews. It might simply be that this is something the staff at the shelter neglected to cover with you when you were admitted.

 

Now that your boss knows the situation, how about arranging a time to meet so that you can discuss your current need for flexibility (ie in order to allow time off to apartment-search). I do think that involving your employer would be better. It's better that they have good notice if you need to come in a bit later or leave early due to your current circumstances. Certainly far better than developing a punctuality problem because you're trying to fit too much in.

 

Do you have a keyworker at the shelter who you can take some time with to discuss the difficult issues? It might be that there are resources available that you don't know about, which would help you re the apartment searching. Don't try to cope with all this on your own, when you don't necessarily need to.

[KathyM]

I think a lot of shelters, if not all, go on lock down at night for the safety and security of its residents. My older sister spent some time at a battered women's shelter right after she left her abusive husband. Their first priority is always the safety of their residents, and they know if people are able to enter the facility at night, even if it is a resident, there is a greater chance an abusive hs/bf could gain access or the resident be confronted in a dark parking lot outside. I would suggest you let the employer know that you are staying there temporarily without going into detail about the circumstances, and that you have to be in by 11:00 p.m. I think he'll make the effort to respect that time frame for this short term period.

[turnera]

I had no choice but to tell him that I am in a shelter because he wanted me to work overtime and I could not because there is a curfew for 11pm all residents must be there or face the possibility of being discharged.(and right now I don't have anywhere else to go)I hate telling people my personal business but prior to this I have been late for work because I've been too busy looking for apartments or rooms to rent also work has been calling my old home so I haven't been receiving the messages and last week they got so fed up with me they cancelled my shift on Saturday.

I feel extremely overwhelmed !!!!!!!

That must have been SO hard to tell him! I can't imagine.

 

That said, I have to ask you, no matter how hard your circumstances, did you really have to be late because you were looking for apartments? The only time you could look was an hour before work?

[creighton0123]

I'm sorry that you feel overwhelmed. You cannot, however, miss work because you're looking for an apartment. That is a non-excuse. You need your job to help pay for said apartment.

 

If your office is calling your old residence, it may be because that's the contact info they have for you. Look for apartments on your days off. Employers will only go so far in allowing an employee to slack due to personal reasons. You know your work schedule. Unless you're sick and give them ample notice, show up on time. Are you in an urban area? Which one? Perhaps there are other options - other shelters or arrangements, even if it comes down to staying in a hostel for a little while, that can offer you the flexibility you need.

[BrentB]

I'm sorry that you feel overwhelmed. You cannot, however, miss work because you're looking for an apartment. That is a non-excuse. You need your job to help pay for said apartment.

 

If your office is calling your old residence, it may be because that's the contact info they have for you. Look for apartments on your days off. Employers will only go so far in allowing an employee to slack due to personal reasons. You know your work schedule. Unless you're sick and give them ample notice, show up on time. Are you in an urban area? Which one? Perhaps there are other options - other shelters or arrangements, even if it comes down to staying in a hostel for a little while, that can offer you the flexibility you need.

 

I agree. If you're living in a shelter, your #1 priority needs to be working as much as humanly possible. Eventually, you'll have enough time and money to leave the shelter but not if you lose your job!