Jump to content

I've hate my job yet feel trapped


Recommended Posts

I was having lunch with friends on Sunday and my gf said to me- "why are your hands shaking?" It was because I was thinking about having to go back to work the next day!

 

It is such a stressful environment- and it has contributed to my anxiety as much as the miscarriage and break up. I wake up every morning and dread facing the work. It's a developing company- and my boss and I deal directly with the owner. I've never met a more wretchid woman. She's a terrible bully, and everytime the phone rings my insides turn upside down.

 

One moment she's screaming at me that I'm incompetent, then 15 minutes later she's calling me on another matter and acts like she didn't just scream at me. It's all about the numbers, so when my stores aren't making target- she comes down hard on my boss and I. She's like that with all the regionals and area managers. It's the most stressful environment I've ever worked in.

 

I actually turned my phone off today- the first time I've ever done it... It's my day off and I'm sick of taking calls. I'll probably take a lot of flack for that tomorrrow but I don't care- I just want quiet.

 

I feel trapped though. I want to get out of retail all together- I just don't enjoy it. The problem is that I've been in retail my entire life- since I was involved in my mothers business, then took it over myself. When I look at my resume- it's only been retail. I do have a Degree and 2 diplomas, but at the age of 41, I don't have experience in anything other than retail.:(

 

The pay is good- but I seriously hate waking up every morning knowing I have to do this job. I'm sick of being screamed at, told I'm incompetent, and threatened with being fired. This can be over something silly like she walked into one of the stores and saw a dust bunny in one of the changing rooms. Managers quit constantly from being bullied and I'm constantly replacing them. She speaks to me like I am a child.

 

I just don't have a clue what I'd do, and I'd have to consider that I probably wouldn't make as much as I do now. I feel trapped:(.

 

I feel like I want to do something completely different, I just don't know what. All I know is that life is too short to be spending 10 hours of my day in a job that I detest.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, you definitely need to get out of there. No point in staying in a job that is making you miserable. It may be a difficult thing to have to move to another job with less pay, but it's surely gotta be better than having to deal with all that crap.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
What use is money if you're dead or insane?

 

Something to think about

 

That's what my friends have said:rolleyes:

 

I just have to figure out what I want to do.

I'm smart and capable, but I don't want to be in a sales driven industry anymore- at least not on the front line of it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The pay is good- but I seriously hate waking up every morning knowing I have to do this job. I'm sick of being screamed at, told I'm incompetent, and threatened with being fired. This can be over something silly like she walked into one of the stores and saw a dust bunny in one of the changing rooms. Managers quit constantly from being bullied and I'm constantly replacing them. She speaks to me like I am a child.

 

My gosh.. nobody should have to work in an environment where they are screamed at or demeaned and even worse that it happens all the time.

 

You do need to leave.. it won't get better and will only pull you under more. She will not change and in the end you will burn out and then she will have a reason to fire you.

 

The key will be where will you go... you are right to start looking at your options now.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just because you had to shutter your last business doesn't mean that particular path is closed to you forever. Hint: It doesn't have to be retail. Be creative.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
My gosh.. nobody should have to work in an environment where they are screamed at or demeaned and even worse that it happens all the time.

 

You do need to leave.. it won't get better and will only pull you under more. She will not change and in the end you will burn out and then she will have a reason to fire you.

 

The key will be where will you go... you are right to start looking at your options now.

 

This is retail- it's the norm. People are always yelling, I get threatened with being fired all the time. I have gf's in my same position and the pressure is insane.

 

This is not my calling- I'm doing it for the money currently. I don't make bad money as an area Manager. However, I am never off the clock, and I never wake up thinking that I am happy to start work.

 

I actually shut my phone off today- it's my day off, and I've never done that before. I've reached the end of my rope...

 

I am not turning my phone on until 8am tomorrow when I am back on the clock. I'll get in crap tomorrow for not being available, but I don't care.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Suggest she pays you for each call you take out of hours.

 

Have a look around things like http://www.elance.com or http://www.peopleperhour.com and see if there's anything there you fancy trying to get into as a freelancer. I'm sure there will be academic papers you can mark / assess in whatever you studied; that's another line of work you can get into. Won't pay as much money, but less stressful so doesn't cost as much.

Link to post
Share on other sites
What use is money if you're dead or insane?

 

Something to think about

 

:lmao: I wish you'd said that a lonnnnng time ago, it took me way too long to leave my last firm!! GREAT WORDS!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Just because you had to shutter your last business doesn't mean that particular path is closed to you forever. Hint: It doesn't have to be retail. Be creative.

 

I've been looking:rolleyes: Simply having a degree helps a lot.

If it was 10 years ago, I'd go back to school.

 

Suggest she pays you for each call you take out of hours.

 

Have a look around things like www.elance.com or www.peopleperhour.com and see if there's anything there you fancy trying to get into as a freelancer. I'm sure there will be academic papers you can mark / assess in whatever you studied; that's another line of work you can get into. Won't pay as much money, but less stressful so doesn't cost as much.

 

I'd suggest it and get yelled at:lmao:

 

I'll take a look at those websites- thanks for the hint. I'd take a pay cut for sure- it's not worth all of this BS.

 

It's important to be happy in your job, if it's to the point of dreading it, shaking at the thought of it, you gotta go. Money is money, but it's not replacing your happiness, is it?

 

I am on holidays next week, I'm counting down the days. My boss has been on holidays these past 2 weeks- so I've had more direct contact with the owner.

 

On a daily basis she's telling everyone they are incompetent. My gf is a regional manager for a different retail company- and the same screaming and BS goes on in her company as well. It's sales driven, so everyone is always stressed about numbers. She's emotional, so she cries when she gets yelled at, lol.

 

My owner is the type of woman that never has anything good to say- and she's completely irrational. She walked into one of my stores the other day and went into the back room to see that some of the merchandise in the back room didn't have security tags (not on the floor, but in the back room)- so of course I get an angry phone call- I need to fire this Manager, and obviously I am not doing my job because of this... Yet- head office is out of security tags... and you can't tag things when you're asking for security tags and they don't have any... Yet- somehow this is still my fault. I've told her over and over they have no security tags at head office- and she says to me the other day "why didn't you tell me..." "Um, I did stupid".

 

It's honestly a nightmare waking up every morning, because the calls start at 8am and don't end until she decides she's done ranting for the day.

 

My RM gets it's much worse. We've been out to lunch and she'll get a call and I'll hear the screaming through the phone from across the table. I don't know how she does it. It's such a hostile environment, and I have to get out of there...

 

I can't take too much of a paycut though- because my rent is expensive:(

Edited by D-Lish
Link to post
Share on other sites

D, I'm going to suggest that you hold off for awhile before making any firm decisions. While your boss sounds like a really unprofessional harridan, you might want to give yourself time to settle down from so many of the emotional upheavals that have happened in your recent history.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Is there an HR department that you could use to help you?

 

It is so sad that you are so educated, yet you cannot find something better.:( We are fed the lie that education always leads to a comfortable life. When times are hard, degrees can often mean very little.

 

I'm sure that you have many transferable skills, from being a manager.

 

HR is a loose term in our company. I am positive that they get yelled at as much as everyone else. It's a start up company- so only 18 stores... I couldn't go to HR and complain about being bullied by the owner that probably bullies them as well. This is the owner, so compaining about her is useless.

 

I will use my week off to re-vamp my resume:)

 

I love that face too!!! who does it belong to??? lol

 

D, I'm going to suggest that you hold off for awhile before making any firm decisions. While your boss sounds like a really unprofessional harridan, you might want to give yourself time to settle down from so many of the emotional upheavals that have happened in your recent history.

 

I am also moving again- I have been in a short term lease, and have found a really ideal studio apartment that I am so happy about moving in to. The rent isn't cheap though, so I can't make a hasty decision unless I find a job that will cover it.

 

I won't quit or walk away- mostly because my immediate boss is my friend- and I would never leave her hanging.

Edited by D-Lish
Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds awful D. Glad you have some days off coming up.

 

Any chance you could have access to career counseling? I'm sure there's a way to "transfer" your skills to some cushier jobs. When I was job hunting, this government job came up in the field of tourism. They were looking for someone who could do market development. The product? Canada. You would make a great ambassador ;).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
It sounds awful D. Glad you have some days off coming up.

 

Any chance you could have access to career counseling? I'm sure there's a way to "transfer" your skills to some cushier jobs. When I was job hunting, this government job came up in the field of tourism. They were looking for someone who could do market development. The product? Canada. You would make a great ambassador ;).

 

I could do a lot of things- it's just a matter of finding time to re-vamp my resume and send back applications. I'm working 9-10 hours a day currently and dealing with long commutes between stores.

 

The problem is that with every job I am interested in- I have to change my resume to exemplify the traits and experience an employer is looking for.

 

When I see a job I like- I alter my resume to indicate my relevant

qualifilcations. I just don't always have the time to do it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I could do a lot of things- it's just a matter of finding time to re-vamp my resume and send back applications. I'm working 9-10 hours a day currently and dealing with long commutes between stores.

 

The problem is that with every job I am interested in- I have to change my resume to exemplify the traits and experience an employer is looking for.

 

When I see a job I like- I alter my resume to indicate my relevant

qualifilcations. I just don't always have the time to do it.

 

You know how Somedude81 comes up for an excuse every time we try to tell him how to get a girl. Well applying and getting a job you like is some what like going after a girl. You need to stop making excuses and just put some applications in. A crappy resume and cover letter is worth far more then not even applying.

 

Even though you work 9-10 you obviously have time to apply to at least one job a week. Heck if you tried you could probably apply to at least a few jobs a week.

 

You keep this job now and the thought that you are trying to leave and will leave for something you like better will make all the difference. Right now you feel hopeless. Bring hope back in by trying.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You know how Somedude81 comes up for an excuse every time we try to tell him how to get a girl. Well applying and getting a job you like is some what like going after a girl. You need to stop making excuses and just put some applications in. A crappy resume and cover letter is worth far more then not even applying.

 

Even though you work 9-10 you obviously have time to apply to at least one job a week. Heck if you tried you could probably apply to at least a few jobs a week.

 

You keep this job now and the thought that you are trying to leave and will leave for something you like better will make all the difference. Right now you feel hopeless. Bring hope back in by trying.

 

You're right- it's the money I cling to.

 

I am going to make a major effort on my week off to find something different.

 

One could argue that the time I spend on LS could have been spent on finding a job- and that's true.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you get out of it, you definitely will have to start over. It isn't terribly difficult with a degree and 2 diplomas, though, if you're willing to scale down to a modest lifestyle - fresh grads do it all the time! :) And you're already better off than people without any qualifications - they have to rely even more on experience.

 

I would not live my life dreading going to work the next day, everyday. What sort of life is that?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Your loyalty is to be commended, DLish. :)

 

Rent in Toronto is horribly expensive. :( The only cheap places are in the cracked out neighbourhoods and who would want to live in those areas anyway? Is it possible for you to find a less expensive, yet still nice apartment? http://viewit.ca/ I like this place.

 

That face belongs to none other than Robin Thicke, who has a smooth singing voice. Robin will end my marriage if I ever meet him. :lmao::love:

 

Yeah, it looks like HR is not a good route.

 

I had trouble with view-it, none of the places allowed dogs:(- but on craiglsist- I can input dogs allowed and all these places come up...

 

I found a GREAT bachelor for $1300 a month right downtown- it's central to everywhere I need to go. It's an awesome and safe location. A bit small- but like a loft in a ground floor with a walk out patio.

 

I used to carry a mortgage for $800 a month:(.

 

If you get out of it, you definitely will have to start over. It isn't terribly difficult with a degree and 2 diplomas, though, if you're willing to scale down to a modest lifestyle - fresh grads do it all the time! :) And you're already better off than people without any qualifications - they have to rely even more on experience.

 

I would not live my life dreading going to work the next day, everyday. What sort of life is that?

 

It's not a life at all. believe me. And I am willing to scale back my pay, it just can't be too much because...I have this rent to pay:).

 

I actually asked for a $6000 raise. I researched my position and that would bring me to the bottom end of what others in my position make. My Regional manager is my friend- and she is the person I proposed my raise to. I'd stay longer if I got paid that extra 6 grand a year to be abused;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not a life at all. believe me. And I am willing to scale back my pay, it just can't be too much because...I have this rent to pay:).

 

I actually asked for a $6000 raise. I researched my position and that would bring me to the bottom end of what others in my position make. My Regional manager is my friend- and she is the person I proposed my raise to. I'd stay longer if I got paid that extra 6 grand a year to be abused;)

 

You are officially the somedude81 of LS members who complain about their jobs. Why the heck do you need to rent such an expensive place? I say find a nice 2b/2b 1k place and get a roommate to split it 50/50.

 

Then I say apply at jobs you like or go back to school if that is an honest dream and not just a way to run away.

 

Maybe you should stay in the job your in, but if that’s the case you need to get over the stress.

 

You’re not trapped the power is yours.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You are officially the somedude81 of LS members who complain about their jobs. Why the heck do you need to rent such an expensive place? I say find a nice 2b/2b 1k place and get a roommate to split it 50/50.

 

Then I say apply at jobs you like or go back to school if that is an honest dream and not just a way to run away.

 

Maybe you should stay in the job your in, but if that’s the case you need to get over the stress.

 

You’re not trapped the power is yours.

 

1300$ isn't expensive in terms of what I am getting paid- it's relative to what I am getting paid, while giving me spending money, groceries, new outfits, etc.

 

I'm still saving money every month- putting a bit aside for my retirement,

Link to post
Share on other sites
1300$ isn't expensive in terms of what I am getting paid- it's relative to what I am getting paid, while giving me spending money, groceries, new outfits, etc.

 

I'm still saving money every month- putting a bit aside for my retirement,

 

You truly are a somedude.

 

Yes I know you supposedly make over 70k or what ever. The thing is you said that if you didn’t have this job you hate you couldn’t afford rent. There for I said lower your rent so you don’t have to work the job you don’t like. Now do you see?

 

I think you should stay and conquer your fears with this job if you think that’s what you want most. If you really do want something else and its honestly what you want not just a way of running then that is what you should do instead. You’re not too old and it’s never too late

Link to post
Share on other sites

Since you will be staying at the job for now, maybe the next step is to tackle how you respond emotionally to the abuse. You know she's abusive, you know she screams, you even know it's kind of par for the course in retail. Any chance you could let some of it slide off your back?

 

And oh how I wish there was a 2b 2b for 1000 in downtown Toronto! If anyone finds one, please let me know. I'm not saying it's impossible for Torontonians to cut cost on rent, but the 1300 bachelor in downtown Toronto with outdoor access doesn't strike me as particularly expensive.

Edited by Kamille
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
You truly are a somedude.

 

Yes I know you supposedly make over 70k or what ever. The thing is you said that if you didn’t have this job you hate you couldn’t afford rent. There for I said lower your rent so you don’t have to work the job you don’t like. Now do you see?

 

I think you should stay and conquer your fears with this job if you think that’s what you want most. If you really do want something else and its honestly what you want not just a way of running then that is what you should do instead. You’re not too old and it’s never too late

 

No, I don't make over 70K at this job, if my stores met target every month I might come close to that, and the bonus per month is awesome- but I've only made it once in my second month- then the owner jacked up the goals to the point of being unreasonable and I haven't hit target since. When I was hired, I was lured by the bonus situation- but this is how this woman operates= I hit my target in my area in the second month, and since then, the targets have been ridiculously unreasonable. I get commissions between 80-100% of target for the stores... and my area has done that a few times- but she strips me of commissions if she walks into one of the stores and finds something without a security tag or maybe an employee will have a water bottle behind the front counter... For small things like that she'll take away all staff commissions in that store, take away the manager's commission or bonus, and deny me mine.

 

And $1300 a month is cheap for Toronto.

 

That's the thing, I'm not willing to move backwards at the age of 41. I've already had a major setback losing my business, and I've worked hard to get back to where I am. I hate my job, but I'll stick it out until something acceptable comes along. Hence the title of my thread= feeling trapped.

 

I'll take a pay cut to move from where I am, I just need to find the right career path that I can get into with my qualifications and experience. That's more what I was looking for- feedback on what sort of work I might be able to get into given only having retail experience. I've only had experience with merchandising, sales and counselling. I have a good position right now (I just hate being screamed at every day)- I want to figure out how my skills and qualifications will transfer to a different career path that isn't a sales driven environment.

 

I'm currently looking at event planning as an option- I have experience with being a wedding planner, so I could play up that aspect on my resume.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Since you will be staying at the job for now, maybe the next step is to tackle how you respond emotionally to the abuse. You know she's abusive, you know she screams, you even know it's kind of par for the course in retail. Any chance you could let some of it slide off your back?

 

And oh how I wish there was a 2b 2b for 1000 in downtown Toronto! If anyone finds one, please let me know. I'm not saying it's impossible for Torontonians to cut cost on rent, but the 1300 bachelor in downtown Toronto with outdoor access doesn't strike me as particularly expensive.

 

It's incredibly reasonable, lol. Pretty small- but a safe neighbourhood which is important to me. I looked at a place at Harbourfront that was 450sqft- and almost 1500$!!! It was still expensive living and having room mates downtown.

 

Letting things roll off my back are hard for me given the anxiety. Everytime my phone rings my heart jumps into my throat... But given that I have started back on my meds- my anxiety is starting to get better.

My heart isn't into my job anymore, so I've become less tolerant of her yelling and insults. She hung up on me last week because I argued with her about something she wanted done that was ridiculous. It was good, because she was so mad at me, she left me alone for almost 2 days.

 

Looking for something new, and re-vamping my resume has made me feel hopeful. Knowing I am off next week- I'll be diligent in my job search. And guess what? I'm going to take another vacation week just prior to giving notice.:cool:

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...