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What the....THey Want Personal References..why?And how?


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quietGuy13

OK So i applied for a job. TO my surprise, it said to list 2 personal references. It says they can't be employers. Then what??

 

I know usually this means coworkers or seomthing. But who the heck gathers phone numbers from coworkers unless they're the gossipy/want to make friends and go out with coworkers type?

 

I'm(i was when i was employed)friendly and nice to coworkers at workbut I don't get their numbers or be friends with them outside of work.

 

Anyways, i just left them blank.

 

Whats your take on this? I already gave the phone number of my employers but then they also ask for personal references. what's the point?

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hurting_in_nw

I don't take personal references to mean co-workers...those are professional references. I see it as friends or people you know outside of the workplace who can vouch for who you are as a person.

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quietGuy13
Sometimes they are optional. Sometimes they allow for you to use family. They are looking for where you stand in your community and how you relate to others to further profile your personality. It is the same reason why they ask for your hobbies and other personal irrelevant information. Sometimes they might be looking to hire someone who could be their friend at work. I have gotten that distinct impression from certain female interviewers I would be working closely with if hired.

 

You can use family when allowed, friends, neighbors, people from your clubs and the volunteer organizations you participate in, people at your church, etc.

 

Thanks the problem is

-I have no friends

-neighbors don't know me(Even if i did i would not know their phone)

-i'm not in any clubs( I wouldn't know their phone even if i did)

-i don't do any volunteer

-nobody at church knows me

 

As you might remember, i'm a loner.

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You'll need to work on that.

 

 

Getting, holding, and advancing in your job isn't about how well you can do the work but how well you can socialize. Well that and affirmative action but that's a topic for another forum far, far away.

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start volunteering - it's the best way to get personal references (in my experience).

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To be blunt, having personal references is proof that you are a living member of the human race. Companies really don't want to hire workers who are anti-social or who are reclusive and only leave their home for work.

 

The typical worker who "goes postal" at work is a white loner male over 30. The person sometimes exhibits these characteristics:

 

Inability to detach themselves from a job and move on.

Difficulty forming bonds with others throughout their lives.

Past threats, whether in the current workplace or a former one.

Belief that their employer is treating them unfairly or singling them out for some reason.

Recurrent psychological disturbances that isn’t significant enough to keep them from working--or being able to plan and carry out threats.

Blaming a specific individual for their problems.

Volatility, impulsivity, little emotional control and a failure to consider the consequences of their actions.

Oversensitivity to perceived insults or threats.

A tendency to use violence to solve problems and to threaten when they feel threatened.

 

One way that companies can weed out potential troublemakers is to see if a possible employer can form bonds with people and to ask those people about your personality. Companies have a responsibility to their workers, and that includes bringing in future employees who aren't a danger.

 

It is hard to fathom that you do not know a single person you can put down as a personal reference. No one at church knows you? Your pastor doesn't know you? You don't have a member of your family (a cousin, an aunt or uncle) who could be a personal reference?

 

I think you should make an appt with your minister ASAP just to talk about your problems with fitting in socially. Ask for help and assistance in becoming more active in the church and in being part of groups there that are in areas you may find enjoyable (a men's study group, the committee that works on the church grounds or building, etc). He/she should be trained in ways to bring shy members of the church into the fold, so to speak.

 

Back to the original problem - do not leave personal references blank. Those names and numbers are there for a reason.

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Never leave Blanks. Not Ever. Ever.

 

Personal References: A professor or teacher who taught you

 

Someone affiliated with a Volunteer Organization you participated in

 

If nothing else, a neighbor or family friend, professionally employed , who, you have know for 5 years or more.

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LShasleftmeindespair

Unless you know someone who has a high opinion of you and you already talked to them about being a reference, leave it blank. Leaving it blank is less harmful than a bad or mediocre reference.

 

The references have nothing to do with weeding out future workers "going postal." There is a ridiculous expectation today that future employees will be the kind of chipper, effervescent, bubbly fellow who could work in Disney World. There is another reason they want such a worker. A person of that personality profile will eat shyt and think it is a banquet. They will do whatever, whenever, however, and be more than happy with it to the point of blissful ignorance. They want the perfect slave or pet who will do as they are told and never expect more than they are given for it.

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