BlueberryCough Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 (edited) i been wit my BF well husband for 11 yrs n im tired of feeling like he dont love me like he use too...its hard 2 leave him its really hard cuz i love him so much dat i cant live wit out him i feel like if i leave him its gonna hurt me more den him he says he love me but he acts different from we 1stt fell in love n i need a good advise cuz i kno i hav a problem cuz i love him way tooo much n i dont wanna get hurt n my whole life changes for da worse...n i dont hav da guts 2 leave him...i wish i did i wish i can stop lovin him so i wont hurt anymore so anyone plz if u can help plz do.... Edited March 30, 2011 by BlueberryCough Link to post Share on other sites
Lemontang Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 You'll find your threads also here being answered: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3318646&posted=1#post3318646 Link to post Share on other sites
confused woman23 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Hi just logged on and read your post. Sorry this is long... I totally understand how you feel i wanted to leave my husband for quite some time due to the fact he cheated on me our whole marriage so i thought i stop loving him cuz i was gonna leave him the first time he cheated(still to this day he said he has never had sex with her or any of them....b.s) i gave him second chance to make it up to me he was crying and begging me not to leave him mind you we had been married for only 10months when i found out, but i loved him so much i didnt want to give up on my marriage so soon. Then the next year he cheated again, and again, and again and each time i forgave him and took him back even when i didnt want to cuz i thought he would do it again. To make a long story short read my posts i have two of them if you want to know the WHOLE STORY. This past Monday night he up and decided he wanted a divorce from me and that he had been thinking it for quite some while. This not only shocked the hell out of me but it deeply hurt me so badly i cried for so long i still cry because i dont understand we had been getting along just fine the thoughts of me leaving him stopped, we just moved into a new house was picking out furniture and he slap me with divorce papers totally unexpected. I didnt know there was a problem bcuz every since we brought in the new year which we made a vow to do our marriage and eachother right this year we have been great atleast thats what i thought. I had wanted to leave him a long time ago and when he just up and decided to leave me after im the one that should have left him i am devastated, confused, broken-hearted, mad, sad, enraged and anything else that goes along with broken hearts that how i feel. I dont understand why i am so hurt because a few months ago i wanted out this marriage too i was done he wanted me back and i fell for it like i always do but i think it was because he wanted to catch me off guard like he did. Its not right for him to up and leave and want a divorce when he is the one that made us so scorn in the first place. I use to think that if he left me i would be able to cope and it would be easier because i didnt want to feel bad about leaving him i was afraid to leave him we have built so much together. But i think this was worse now i found out i love him more than i thought i did but its too late he wont give me a chance now that the roles are reverse he told me it doesnt work like that. I love him soooo much and i really wish i can be with him now to hold me at night wake up every morning when i open my eyes to see him laying next to me breathing. So my advise to you is if you truly love him make whatever you and him are going through right before its too late dont take eachother for granted cherish the moments you two have together. If my H would even consider giving us another go i would take it and be the best wife i can be i would just hope he would be the best husband and not cheat anymore but everything happens for a reason just know that. Good Luck with your decision i hope my story helps a little please keep me posted. Edited March 31, 2011 by confused woman23 Link to post Share on other sites
callsign Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Hi just logged on and read your post. Sorry this is long... I totally understand how you feel i wanted to leave my husband for quite some time due to the fact he cheated on me our whole marriage so i thought i stop loving him cuz i was gonna leave him the first time he cheated(still to this day he said he has never had sex with her or any of them....b.s) i gave him second chance to make it up to me he was crying and begging me not to leave him mind you we had been married for only 10months when i found out, but i loved him so much i didnt want to give up on my marriage so soon. Then the next year he cheated again, and again, and again and each time i forgave him and took him back even when i didnt want to cuz i thought he would do it again. To make a long story short read my posts i have two of them if you want to know the WHOLE STORY. This past Monday night he up and decided he wanted a divorce from me and that he had been thinking it for quite some while. This not only shocked the hell out of me but it deeply hurt me so badly i cried for so long i still cry because i dont understand we had been getting along just fine the thoughts of me leaving him stopped, we just moved into a new house was picking out furniture and he slap me with divorce papers totally unexpected. I didnt know there was a problem bcuz every since we brought in the new year which we made a vow to do our marriage and eachother right this year we have been great atleast thats what i thought. I had wanted to leave him a long time ago and when he just up and decided to leave me after im the one that should have left him i am devastated, confused, broken-hearted, mad, sad, enraged and anything else that goes along with broken hearts that how i feel. I dont understand why i am so hurt because a few months ago i wanted out this marriage too i was done he wanted me back and i fell for it like i always do but i think it was because he wanted to catch me off guard like he did. Its not right for him to up and leave and want a divorce when he is the one that made us so scorn in the first place. I use to think that if he left me i would be able to cope and it would be easier because i didnt want to feel bad about leaving him i was afraid to leave him we have built so much together. But i think this was worse now i found out i love him more than i thought i did but its too late he wont give me a chance now that the roles are reverse he told me it doesnt work like that. I love him soooo much and i really wish i can be with him now to hold me at night wake up every morning when i open my eyes to see him laying next to me breathing. So my advise to you is if you truly love him make whatever you and him are going through right before its too late dont take eachother for granted cherish the moments you two have together. If my H would even consider giving us another go i would take it and be the best wife i can be i would just hope he would be the best husband and not cheat anymore but everything happens for a reason just know that. Good Luck with your decision i hope my story helps a little please keep me posted. Your husband is a son of a ...... . What he did is just wrong. He doesn't deserve you and your story really touched me. I'm so sorry for you, but be assured there is a good guy out there for you. Just keep looking. Link to post Share on other sites
confused woman23 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Your husband is a son of a ...... . What he did is just wrong. He doesn't deserve you and your story really touched me. I'm so sorry for you, but be assured there is a good guy out there for you. Just keep looking. Thank you so much i cant do anything i cant eat or sleep i just want him back i want a chance to make it right first then if he still feels the same way ill let him leave. He doesnt want any type of counseling he just wants out but he wont tell me why it has to be so soon. All i do is pray for another chance with him to let us honestly try this time with no bs thats all i ask of him. He told me and i quote,"I dont owe you a chance just because you gave me one that was you wanting to gave me second chances,but it doesnt work that way with you, i just dont want to be married to you anymore and im sorry but i am never coming back to you so stop asking me too!" Now it sounds like im crazy becuz why even want a man that dont want you, right? Wrong, we've literally been through alot struggling financially and now we are ok. I always told him that we could have been poor as hell living in cardboard box on the street as long as i had him and we were together nothing else in this world matters as long a i have him to share my world with. I love him so much he says he knows but hes not coming back. He says he loves me too and i said if you loved me you wouldnt leave without trying you wouldnt turn your back on me when i need you most. Last year we found out he had a brain tumor its benign but it is still serious becuz it blocks the spinal fluid from his brain and he can have sudden death out of no where. It was me up crying with him also when he couldnt sleep or eat didnt want to move the wrong way cuz he thought he would die. I was there every step of the way with him and yet he was still out trying to do his own thing with other girls. I truly believe no one will ever love him as much as i do i just really wish i can show him how much. He elected not to get surgery at this time do to the fact that alot of brain surgeons never removed this type of brain tumor and chances of him dying on the table are more higher then he returning back to normal. He told me that the only thing he would hate most is to not remember me due to the fact that the surgery had a great risk of permanent and temporary memory loss. So he said that he would live with the brain tumor because he would never in life want to not remember me so he didnt have the surgery. What type of stuff is that i didnt leave him when he needed me most i stayed i stayed and i tried with him all im asking from him is that he does the same thing in return for me. Pray for me please everyone your comments are more than welcomed....i need help Edited March 31, 2011 by confused woman23 Link to post Share on other sites
callsign Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Thank you so much i cant do anything i cant eat or sleep i just want him back i want a chance to make it right first then if he still feels the same way ill let him leave. He doesnt want any type of counseling he just wants out but he wont tell me why it has to be so soon. All i do is pray for another chance with him to let us honestly try this time with no bs thats all i ask of him. He told me and i quote,"I dont owe you a chance just because you gave me one that was you wanting to gave me second chances,but it doesnt work that way with you, i just dont want to be married to you anymore and im sorry but i am never coming back to you so stop asking me too!" ________________________________________________________________ look at it this way. I've never even met you, but I can sense from the sincerity in your post that you have the sort of love for this man that every healthy male craves. Loyalty, compassion and unconditional love. My gosh that's a beautiful thing and you are beautiful because of it. Let him go, grieve it and then, someday, give your love to someone who will return it. I'm going through my own issues, everyone here is, but at least we are here to help each other through it. Love is a tough row to hoe, isn't it. God speed. Edited March 31, 2011 by callsign Link to post Share on other sites
confused woman23 Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Thank you thats sweet i needed to here that. Its hard to let him go without truly trying this time since i have posted this post he has decided to do a separation first instead of a divorce. He said he still wants a divorce but he want rush me to sign the papers he said that he can re-evaluate things then and see if he still feels the same way in a week or month. He said he wants me in his life forever but just not as his wife. I dont understand what that means becuz i will be devastated if me and him were to get a divorce i love him with all my heart and now we are friends and still do all the things we did when we were married including sex. And he meets someone and gives her the world what i deserved from him to give it to me. Ill just take it one second at a time hell tomorrow isnt promised to say one day at a time. Pray for me please thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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