moredeborah Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Five years ago, I was hired at the same time as this guy Jason. Jason and I are the same age (at the time, early 20's) and both were in a bad situation with our significant others. We were fast friends and flirted. HARD. My situation with my boyfriend got better and I started to pull away from Jason, knowing it wasn't right. Jason's situation with his girlfriend got worse and he got more aggressive with flirting to the point I got creeped out and stopped being his friend. He eventually quit the job and I stayed on. I still work here. Jason ended up marrying his girlfriend and has a baby on the way. He became very financially successful for his age as well. Throughout those 3 years, he would call me to brag about his life. I grew to really dislike him. Imagine a sleazy wannabe New York Stock Exchange type guy, clad in fake designer suits with all the "clout" he can throw around. This is Jason. Imagine nerdy, into her music, granola girl that prefers a vintage Goodwill find over Bebe. That is me. How we started flirting, I'm not sure. But how we stopped is very obvious. So now... he's being hired back to the company I work for as my BOSS. I found out today. I'm trying to keep it together. I'm trying to be okay with it. I'm trying to keep an open mind, but I'm afraid. Afraid of what? That he's going to make it so unbearable with his douchebag-ness thatt I'm going to have to leave a job that I actually like and make good money at. Your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 If he comes back still a douche and showing signs of his old ways (flirting with you) again... ...then i would nip it in the bud! Talk to him direct about leaving past history behind etc... Make sure there is zero misunderstanding and assumptions. Be professional about it, don't get mad. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Does the person who hired him and assigned him to be your boss know about your past with him? I would voice your discomfort asap. Explain that this is someone who you were once friends with who then flirted with you to the point of making you uncomfortable. Explain that you value your position and are very concerned about the decision to hire him making you miserable and uncomfortable. Speak up now and make sure that your current boss or your future boss's boss is aware of possible difficulties. It's better to have things in the open now, not once something happens and you have to defend yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I would agree with allina. It's better to let it be known now, instead of later when there are issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Start looking for another job . I mean that with all good intent for you. Rarely do paths cross in a positive light after which you described. Been there and learned the hard way. No busines boss cares to hear of any past relations they hire you for your skill and one of them maybe the skill to leave with your good graces before you. Otherwise if you must speak up to this fellow, let it be in a tone that reflects confidence that he will do well and do well to stay away from you except for matters of business . Draw the line from day one. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I just keep on thinking of the movie "9 to 5." Unless you want to be Doralee from that movie, I'd suggest finding a different job. Link to post Share on other sites
jean-luc sisko Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Get over it, and learn to co-operate with him. He is YOUR boss after all. I think when he arrives, sit down with him, outline mutual expectations, document this via e-mail (and save a copy on your local computer) and move on from there. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Yeah, what you are citing is only "relative douchebaggery". Nothing you cite calls into question his ethics with regard to his work, or your company. Nor does it matter that you and he were once hired there at the same time. Regard him in your logical mind as a new person just hired to be your immediate superior. Remind yourself that the very best way to be a good employee is to "find out what your immediate superior wants of you (in the way of work, I mean) and then do it!" Indeed you are likely to have a lot of thoughts brewing in the immediate future as you go about your job, but apply your logic to the situation and downplay the impact of your emotions. Do your best in the near future as you have always done in the past... "divide and conquer" Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 Get over it, and learn to co-operate with him. He is YOUR boss after all. I think when he arrives, sit down with him, outline mutual expectations, document this via e-mail (and save a copy on your local computer) and move on from there. Truly a comment that should not have made it to this text level. Some thoughts are best left in ones own mind til its been cooked and ready to be served. Link to post Share on other sites
jean-luc sisko Posted February 26, 2011 Share Posted February 26, 2011 I'm just stating my opinion. I think in any scenario, one should show a good degree of deference to one's boss, whether immediate or senior. I don't think bosses higher than him would care about any past bad blood between them. I would also say that in any scenario, no matter who the boss is, there must be a laying down of expectations. A worker should always know the preferred leadership, protocols and managerial style of his/her managers. Link to post Share on other sites
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