Me vs. The bosses son...

[EricaH329]

... and it is SO ON!!!

 

Long story short:

 

The owner of the restaurant/bar I work in promoted me about 4 months ago. More responsibility, more money. His son (who used to work as a manager, but left for a government job) decided that his government job was too 'boring' so he decided to come back and 'manage'. I put that in quotes because he sucks.

 

He decides to go on a power trip, and decides that my promotion is now null and void. The owner doesn't feel the same. It has been a constant battle between his son and me, me and the owner, and the owner and his son.

 

About an hour ago, I found out that the son hired someone (who we do *not* need) and is going on a massive rampage throughout the restaurant saying that he is the one who hires and fires people. WRONG! The owner has told me many times that his son does not run the place. That my duties are still my duties.

 

Can you just imagine, for one moment, the frustration that I am dealing with? This is absurd! I've hit my limit today on the foolishness I am able to deal with. I've called and left the owner a message, asking for him to please call me as soon as possible. This is going to end one way or another.

 

:mad::mad:

[Tayla]

Sounds like you are definitely getting support from the owner. He sounds fair minded in a business manner. Family and business rarely mix well unless they are on the same page..The Son is definitely not seeing the BIG Picture....

 

Good for you for wanting to address this....!!!! Resolutions after such antics are definitely in order.

 

Feel free to share what the results were/are....I'm going thru a "who can be in control without tipping off the boss" ordeal...(rather comical when I sit back and think about it)..Anyways this is your post and I hope people chime in for you and support you!!!

[EricaH329]

Sounds like you are definitely getting support from the owner. He sounds fair minded in a business manner. Family and business rarely mix well unless they are on the same page..The Son is definitely not seeing the BIG Picture....

 

Good for you for wanting to address this....!!!! Resolutions after such antics are definitely in order.

 

Feel free to share what the results were/are....I'm going thru a "who can be in control without tipping off the boss" ordeal...(rather comical when I sit back and think about it)..Anyways this is your post and I hope people chime in for you and support you!!!

 

Thank you so much for your support!! This is a simple case of too many chiefs not enough indians.

 

I really could go on and on about his son and how much of a nutjob he is, but i'll spare everyone the grief Since he has been back, he has begun driving the place into the ground. While it would be much easier for me to just throw the towel in, I refuse to give up without a fight. I earned this promotion, and i'm going to see it through all the way until the end.

 

I'll definitely keep you updated on the situation. However, I don't see this is something that will last very long. The owner is 80 years old, and is seriously losing his memory. His son is most definitely using it to his advantage. He has been told several times about my position, but refuses to acknowledge it. Ugh, this is just so frustrating!

[Tayla]

You sound like a decent lady to have passion and conviction for a business that serves the public.

I get the impression this Son , given his own ideas, will see this place fail miserably. Glad you are sticking to your guns on this!

 

I often chuckle when some people overlook the obvious as this son is doing...the reality is, you have a position that deserves acknowledged and one in which the son should step back and count his blessings that an employee such as yourself hasn't ruffle feathers such as he has...your business ethics deserve better regards by this son....

[EricaH329]

You sound like a decent lady to have passion and conviction for a business that serves the public.

I get the impression this Son , given his own ideas, will see this place fail miserably. Glad you are sticking to your guns on this!

 

I often chuckle when some people overlook the obvious as this son is doing...the reality is, you have a position that deserves acknowledged and one in which the son should step back and count his blessings that an employee such as yourself hasn't ruffle feathers such as he has...your business ethics deserve better regards by this son....

 

Thank you for your kind words! It really has made me feel better about this whole thing. If only his son was in the right mind to realize anything good in his life. He's the lazy type, only wants to do the hiring and the firing, but never wants to get his hands dirty and help out when we are under-staffed. You know the type - wants to sit on his royal thrown and bark out orders that make zero sense business wise. And he wonders why his own father disagrees with the majority of 'decisions' he makes.

 

This is going to make for a very interesting conversation tomorrow with my boss. And guess what i'm going to be left to do? Telling this poor waitress that unfortunately, in the circumstances we have been provided, she will not be needed.

 

I'm truly surprised with the fact that this establishment is still running, considering the poor management.

[Art_Critic]

As someone who owns a family business and grew up in one I can attest to the saying "blood is thicker than water"

While nepotism being a ridiculous way to make decisions and run a company the reality is that nepotism exists in every family business, to what extent is the key.

 

Be careful making any threats, or giving any ultimatums as you will not like the outcome of the results of those.

 

Is it possible that you and the son can put down your power plays and work together ?

[Art_Critic]

I'm truly surprised with the fact that this establishment is still running, considering the poor management.

 

These kind of statements almost never hold water...

They are in business for a reason and when they chips are down a company will make decisions it needs to make to stay in business.

[Art_Critic]

You sound like a decent lady to have passion and conviction for a business that serves the public.

I get the impression this Son , given his own ideas, will see this place fail miserably. Glad you are sticking to your guns on this!

 

I agree.. you are a decent lady..

But you will have to find a way to make it work.. even it means bending in ways that you don't like.

It will be up to you to decide what threshold you can withstand till you throw in the towel.

 

His son failing won't mean your going to sail up the ladder.. remember that..

The father will most likely protect his son and just find room elsewhere but if you have driven wedges that won't allow that then you will be the one without a job if you are not careful.

[EricaH329]

As someone who owns a family business and grew up in one I can attest to the saying "blood is thicker than water"

While nepotism being a ridiculous way to make decisions and run a company the reality is that nepotism exists in every family business, to what extent is the key.

 

Be careful making any threats, or giving any ultimatums as you will not like the outcome of the results of those.

 

Is it possible that you and the son can put down your power plays and work together ?

 

I've thought about that too, the fact that it is his son, and even though he doesn't know how to run a company properly... it's still his son.

 

His son will never allow someone to 'share' the power that he holds. It's either going to be me or him. OR, his father is going to become so upset with him that he will 'allow' me the power to do my job. But, that doesn't mean that he isn't going to try to butt in and do things behind my back to go against that.

 

These kind of statements almost never hold water...

They are in business for a reason and when they chips are down a company will make decisions it needs to make to stay in business.

 

Well, they've owned two restaurants/bars. The one I work in, being one of them. The other, they've had to sell because they couldn't keep it afloat. Rumor has it (and it is just a rumor, all the same) that he is currently trying to find someone to buy the business.

 

He's been complaining about how it isn't, and hasn't, been working out for him. I feel bad for him. He is a hard worker, and he really does try. But the little mistakes, like allowing his son to run the business, really adds up. His son came in with a vengeance about 2 months ago and started firing the best people we had staffed. There will not be anyone as reliable as them to stay.

 

Just giving you examples of how poorly this is being ran. I truly wouldn't be surprised if the owner is, indeed, going to sell the place.

 

I agree.. you are a decent lady..

But you will have to find a way to make it work.. even it means bending in ways that you don't like.

It will be up to you to decide what threshold you can withstand till you throw in the towel.

 

His son failing won't mean your going to sail up the ladder.. remember that..

The father will most likely protect his son and just find room elsewhere but if you have driven wedges that won't allow that then you will be the one without a job if you are not careful.

 

All I do is have control over the wait staff. His son is supposed to only have control over the bartenders/bar backs/cooks/etc. I am more than happy to have what I have, and I wouldn't mind one bit when he starts making decisions on his end of the management aspect. I'll deal with the wait staff, he can deal with everyone else. Fine by me I just don't like it that i've had a routine going, which fit very well. I've gotten nothing but praise over the work I am doing since i've gotten this promotion. His son is making a huge mistake by intervening (business wise). You shouldn't hire more people than you should have, when the business is already struggling, for example.

 

I suppose we will see how this conversation with the owner goes.

 

Edit: The only ultimatum i'm thinking of right now, is either I keep this promotion, or I go back to doing exactly what any other waitress would do. The owner knows how valuable I am, I doubt that's going to be the case.

Edited November 12, 2010 by EricaH329

[EricaH329]

Ok so I talked to my boss, but after I found out that my pay has suddenly decreased. Cut in half, to be precise. I was fuming! I asked my boss if I still held the position he promoted me to, and he said of course and asked why. That's when I told him that my pay has decreased, and I showed him the stub so he could see for himself.

 

Now, he said that he didn't do it and he would correct it immediately (which he did), so who else does that leave to do something like that?!

 

I basically explained to him that I have my way of doing things, and so far (as he could see as well) they have been turning out pretty damn well. I have yet to have any complaints. I believe it's actually running much smoother than before I had taken this position. I have reasons why I do (or don't do) things, and when someone else intervenes without letting me know or giving me a reason, then it throws me off (and the rest of what i'm working on).

 

I told him that if i'm going to have this position, that it needs to be just me, or people need to let me know before doing something that interferes. He agreed!

 

So now i'm just left waiting for his son to do something stupid again. I know it's going to happen. And i'm going to have to let this new girl know that she isn't going to be needed. I hate doing that. If this was my fault, I would have no problem owning up to it and doing the dirty work.

 

I guess we will see how everything goes, i'm not really convinced this is over yet though.

[skydiveaddict]

I would seriously consider looking for a new job. I know it's not your fault, but who wants to work with an ********* like that anyway? You have many talents and gifts, use them elsewhere

[EricaH329]

I would seriously consider looking for a new job. I know it's not your fault, but who wants to work with an ********* like that anyway? You have many talents and gifts, use them elsewhere

 

I have seriously considered this. There is only one thing that has prevented me from doing so, i'm moving in a few months to a different state. I could start somewhere else, and by the time I get the hang of everything i'd be leaving... or I could just tough this out for the next few months.

 

You might be right though, it might come down to me having to leave. I don't see this ending at any point, unless his son decides that he doesn't want to stick around (which he has done in the past). I guess we will see.

 

I do know one thing is for sure though, anywhere that I ever work that has management like the one I am dealing with now, I will run faaaaaar away from!

[skydiveaddict]

Maybe I should just come out there and kick his a$$. Problem solved

[EricaH329]

Maybe I should just come out there and kick his a$$. Problem solved

 

I like that idea!!! Just make sure when he is down you say, "Who runs sh*t NOW!?" :lmao:

 

Ugh, that's just what I needed, thanks

[skydiveaddict]

I was just kidding around didn't mean to offend you

[EricaH329]

I was just kidding around didn't mean to offend you

 

No no, I was kidding around too!

[Tayla]

As someone who owns a family business and grew up in one I can attest to the saying "blood is thicker than water"

While nepotism being a ridiculous way to make decisions and run a company the reality is that nepotism exists in every family business, to what extent is the key.

 

Be careful making any threats, or giving any ultimatums as you will not like the outcome of the results of those.

 

Is it possible that you and the son can put down your power plays and work together ?

 

Art- Well said yet somewhat I differ as I work for a company that was started and continues to hire "within the family blood"...Greatest thing to do is allow the members the opportunities all other employees are granted...starting from the bottom and working towards the position desired. Rarely does the KING PIN show favoritism when it involves the financials or productivity of the business...Maybe that is why our business thrives...He gives and delegates to the right personnel, blood aside.

As for the "power" ...I think Erica is seeking the "support" of empowerment to do what she was hired to do. I do not think giving the speech - Find a happy medium is going to happen here. Erica sees this inept silverspoonist opportunist riding off Dads financials...without giving forth the effort. How can one show regard for that even in a business environment. ? This aside ,Erica sounds realistic about the business and has concerns that do need addressed if the business plan is to maintain, and not go under..

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Of greater importance, has this been the root cause of your long-time absence from LS???

 

 

(and I'm yearning to know to what state you are moving?)

 

 

*not that I could be lucky enough for it to be anywhere near to me (LOL)

[EricaH329]

Art- Well said yet somewhat I differ as I work for a company that was started and continues to hire "within the family blood"...Greatest thing to do is allow the members the opportunities all other employees are granted...starting from the bottom and working towards the position desired. Rarely does the KING PIN show favoritism when it involves the financials or productivity of the business...Maybe that is why our business thrives...He gives and delegates to the right personnel, blood aside.

As for the "power" ...I think Erica is seeking the "support" of empowerment to do what she was hired to do. I do not think giving the speech - Find a happy medium is going to happen here. Erica sees this inept silverspoonist opportunist riding off Dads financials...without giving forth the effort. How can one show regard for that even in a business environment. ? This aside ,Erica sounds realistic about the business and has concerns that do need addressed if the business plan is to maintain, and not go under..

 

Yes, my thoughts exactly! I've put in a ton of hard work and effort, including the fact that i'm the most reliable person that works there (including other employees). I like to think that I really earned this position, and everything that comes along with it. I do my best at everything I set out to do, and I don't give it less than 100% effort. It bums me out to see that this kid, who is a complete moron, can just come in and start barking out orders that make zero sense when the rest of us have put a lot of hard work into what he is destroying.

 

I suppose it no longer matters, though. My efforts have failed. The owner is d*cking me around. I'm not an idiot, and I can tell his actions are different than his words. I'm currently searching for another job, with much more stable management. At this point, i'll take anything. I refuse to be treated the way I have been after putting so much hard work into my job.

 

Of greater importance, has this been the root cause of your long-time absence from LS???

 

No. I've been doing a lot of reflecting, and it needed to be done without any distractions. I wanted to do it my way, the way I felt was best. My job was actually going very well during that time (considering the owners son hadn't shown up at that point).

 

(and I'm yearning to know to what state you are moving?)

 

 

*not that I could be lucky enough for it to be anywhere near to me (LOL)

 

You're such the charmer! I'm moving to Massachusetts :bunny:

[miracle252]

Well, it is difficult to advice something in such situation but it wouldn’t be a bad thing to search for job ads in that state where you are going to move in order to have an idea about them. In this case, I think you will be morally prepared to get a new gob at a new place.