Being Cordial

[Jannah]

If you've grown an aversion towards someone, how do you try to remain cordial towards that individual?

[Tayla]

Being brief as possible works.

 

Maintain the data exchange necessary and move on.

[Jannah]

Being brief as possible works.

 

Maintain the data exchange necessary and move on.

 

Hi Tayla.

 

Yes, I do incorporate being as brief as possible.

 

There are times when the individual is vexing and it is difficult for me to retain being brief in my exchange, though, I am able to move on from it.

[D-Lish]

It depends whether or not they have seniority over you or not. Myself? I'd probably address what is annoying me with them in a non-confrontational manner.

 

There will always be people you have to work with that you don't like, but you have to find a way to work with them regardless. If it's not worth addressing the behaviour, just being brief, yet pleasant works.

[Feelin Frisky]

Gush: DARLING HOW ARE YOU? Just like the pros.

[Taramere]

I think best thing is just to be pleasant and polite. Even if you're not overly keen on a colleague, it seems very wrong to treat them in a way that's markedly differently to the way you would treat other colleagues. Not good team playing, not professional and in some cases it's an approach that (if you don't check it) could fall into the realms of isolating or bullying another member of staff.

 

I saw a previous boss do that to a member of the admin staff, and it's a very poor way to behave. People rely on their jobs to survive, and there's no reason to make someone's working day unnecessarily unpleasant or stressful. It also creates unnecessary drama and office politics which impact on everyone. Also, that poor woman couldn't help but pick up the dislike from the boss...and she was often in tears about it. Who wants to be responsible for someone being so miserable at work just because of some petty little personality clash?

 

If a person has been harassing you in some way, obviously - then polite but chilly seems appropriate (confronting an issue like that often has to be handled separately in a more formalised environment, but you still have to maintain decorum in the interum). Otherwise, I think it's important to make some effort to get along with colleagues and do your bit to ensure that the working environment is a good, pleasant one that everyone can be comfortable in.

Edited October 14, 2010 by Taramere

[Cee]

Find something (anything) you like about them and try to focus on the quality. That confuses your brain and makes it hard to totally hate the person. Also, if you can find any way to respect them, that minimizes the dislike.

 

That method has worked well for me except for two of my direct bosses. In both cases, I found another job to get away from the toxic workplace. One boss was fired later for illegal mismanagement of funds & in the other job, the boss was fired for gross incompetence. I'm glad I left those jobs and currently moved into a great position with a great boss.

[Jannah]

It depends whether or not they have seniority over you or not. Myself? I'd probably address what is annoying me with them in a non-confrontational manner.

 

There will always be people you have to work with that you don't like, but you have to find a way to work with them regardless. If it's not worth addressing the behaviour, just being brief, yet pleasant works.

 

Hi D-Lish. No, there is no seniority and it's not at my workplace. It is a volunteer center so the correspondence is not great in frequency aside from general interaction. Sometimes it's difficult when you've grown to dislike certain behaviors, but I understand and agree with the part about keeping it brief and pleasant.

 

Gush: DARLING HOW ARE YOU? Just like the pros.

 

No, I don't think that's really the way to go, lol.

 

I think best thing is just to be pleasant and polite. Even if you're not overly keen on a colleague, it seems very wrong to treat them in a way that's markedly differently to the way you would treat other colleagues. Not good team playing, not professional and in some cases it's an approach that (if you don't check it) could fall into the realms of isolating or bullying another member of staff.

 

I saw a previous boss do that to a member of the admin staff, and it's a very poor way to behave. People rely on their jobs to survive, and there's no reason to make someone's working day unnecessarily unpleasant or stressful. It also creates unnecessary drama and office politics which impact on everyone. Also, that poor woman couldn't help but pick up the dislike from the boss...and she was often in tears about it. Who wants to be responsible for someone being so miserable at work just because of some petty little personality clash?

 

If a person has been harassing you in some way, obviously - then polite but chilly seems appropriate (confronting an issue like that often has to be handled separately in a more formalised environment, but you still have to maintain decorum in the interum). Otherwise, I think it's important to make some effort to get along with colleagues and do your bit to ensure that the working environment is a good, pleasant one that everyone can be comfortable in.

 

Valuble insight, and I agree with a lot of these points!

 

Find something (anything) you like about them and try to focus on the quality. That confuses your brain and makes it hard to totally hate the person. Also, if you can find any way to respect them, that minimizes the dislike.

 

That method has worked well for me except for two of my direct bosses. In both cases, I found another job to get away from the toxic workplace. One boss was fired later for illegal mismanagement of funds & in the other job, the boss was fired for gross incompetence. I'm glad I left those jobs and currently moved into a great position with a great boss.

 

This is a good idea and I will definitley try to incorporate it. Sorry to hear about your crappy bosses, I had one of those several years back, but thankfully my current boss is a cool dude. I work for a big corporation, so everything is carefully governed and moderated in terms of anti-discremination, unlawful practices, etc.

 

Thank you everyone for responding, I'll update this thread with any additional thoughts and/or questions.

[paleblue]

I guess you just have to suck it up. Put on a nice big smile and be polite even if it kills you. When you get back to your desk then you pull out the voodoo doll and stick it with pins : )

Edited October 14, 2010 by paleblue

[Jannah]

I guess you just have to suck it up. Put on a nice big smile and be polite even if it kills you. When you get back to your desk then you pull out the voodoo doll and stick it with pins : )

 

Suck it up, yes. But the voodoo doll, would be too much work.