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Worst job I've had; unsure how to handle it


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My current job is truly the worst job I have ever had. I moved to this part of the state for this job, and it's a small town where there are not a lot of professional jobs.

 

I'm working at a start-up non-profit in crisis intervention. My role is as intake specialist, which basically means I answer phones, obtain information from people experiencing a crisis or needing a mental health referral, and patch them through to one of our on-call clinicians for a full assessment and referral. Already, just in terms of job role, this is a much more menial job than I've had in the past, but I do not have a degree in mental health yet, only a lot of research and academic experience in the field. Before I even finished college, I was Research Coordinator at a world-reknowned psychoanalytic institute, where I was also entrusted and supervised to work directly with clients and research subjects.

 

Now, all these years later, I find myself in a job that uses none of my experience and capabilities. When I tried to address this with the medical director, he told me I was dealing with a lot of "personalities" who are insecure and find me threatening because I am intelligent, young, and attractive. And he acknowledged that he would like to see me do more, but said it won't happen with these personalities running the show. The "personalities" he's referring to are the non-profit's CEO and her daughter, who in a shameless exhibition of nepotism was hired by her mother and is doing all the PR and outreach. She is utterly ignorant of any clinical protocols and frankly not very bright. Recently it has been speculated that she is being groomed to take over for her mother as CEO.

 

Basically, the medical director confirmed to me that I will never get an opportunity to do more at this institution than answer phones. He said to just suffer through and then go back to school to get my clinical degree. I already had planned to do so--to go back for a clinical psych PhD--but I won't be able to start a program until Sept of 2012.

 

I found the conversation with him to be so ridiculous and wasteful of my time and the company's that I was tempted to give my notice the next day. But first and foremost, I need the money right now. It's just that it's so insulting to be told I have no value because I lack the clinical degree, as though in the past 10 years my accumulation of diverse educational and work experience means nothing. Meanwhile, this CEO and her daughter neither one have anything beyond a bachelor's degree, and not at very prestigious universities. I am better qualified than anyone they will ever find after me to fill this role, and I know I have so many skill sets to offer, and I've NEVER been in a work situation that had so little interest in utilizing these skill sets. If anything, in the past I have always been taken advantage of because I can do so much more than the job requires.

 

There is no HR or anyone other than the medical director I can turn to. I find it disgusting how he would rather cow-tow to the mediocre mindsets of the mother-and-daughter team in charge, than to gainfully employ a talented and hard-working person towards realizing the non-profit's aims. I obviously cannot turn to mother or daughter, both of whom are horribly rude to me--they don't even TRY to be nice.

 

It's especially hard because I'm new to town and don't know many people yet.

 

I don't know what do to in this situation other than suffer through. I'm so much better than this job, though, and I feel it's insulting to stay on and take this bs. Help????

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I wrote the above on waking up and feeling that now-familiar dread of the work day, and I don't think I was clear in what's confusing me about the situation.

 

For one, I don't know how to initiate a conversation about the additional value I can bring to the company, if already the medical director has acknowledged to me that I am under-utilized...and furthermore, that I am under-utilized because that's how the powers that be WANT it.

 

I also feel unreasonable for feeling such disappointment and frustration when I drove over 200 miles to show up in the CEO's office after she didn't return my calls and emails inquiring about work opportunities and as luck had it, she had a position for me at this start-up. It all seemed so promising, especially after months of unsuccessful job-finding attempts after I moved out here from the east coast. She even said at the time that she recognized I was qualified for more than the role of intake specialist but that we'd go with this for a start and after a few months we could have a conversation about taking on more responsibility for more pay. This was in June. But then after that it seemed she singled me out as some kind of target and was snippy and downright insulting on more than one occasion. The result is that now I feel well overdue for that promised conversation, but feel too slammed down that I feel barred somehow from broaching the subject with her. It doesn't help that her office and mine are in different locations (10 minutes' drive).

 

And I also feel stymied because the medical director last week had a one-on-one talk with me to tell me I needed to tone down my enthusiasm due to the insecurities of the CEO and her daughter, and patiently wait until they felt sufficient trust in me to possibly grant me additional responsibilities. He also told me I should just focus on preparing for clinical grad programs and "not sweat the small stuff." And I thought, if it's such "small stuff," why are we talking about it and not about what else I can do for the company?

 

Usually I'd take the bull by the horns and come up with a list of ideas for how we might realize some of the company's aims and how I might play a role. But I feel shot down. It seems it's precisely my penchant for enthusiastically offering up ideas that has gotten me into trouble here so far, in the first place.

 

I really feel stuck and don't know what to do. Do I ask again to speak with the medical director and tell him what I've written here? Or do I just start looking for other jobs and plan to leave as soon as I can? Believe me, I know how lucky in this economy I am even to have a job. I don't take it lightly at all.

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Usually I'd take the bull by the horns and come up with a list of ideas for how we might realize some of the company's aims and how I might play a role. But I feel shot down. It seems it's precisely my penchant for enthusiastically offering up ideas that has gotten me into trouble here so far, in the first place.

 

I really feel stuck and don't know what to do. Do I ask again to speak with the medical director and tell him what I've written here? Or do I just start looking for other jobs and plan to leave as soon as I can? Believe me, I know how lucky in this economy I am even to have a job. I don't take it lightly at all.

 

What actually seems like a bad experience is actually a good one, depending on how you look at it. Psychology is one of those fields where it's basically an academic meritocracy. You are ranked according to your academic pedigree and unless you get at least a master's in clinical psyche and get certified and go into business on your own, you will always be basically a grunt. That's the reality. The question is, how much do you really love this career prospect?

 

Try to re-frame the way you look at this (not easy, I know). You at least have a job that pays money, which is something about 15 million or so people in this country cannot say. Use this as time to reassess what you want your next steps to be.

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What actually seems like a bad experience is actually a good one, depending on how you look at it. Psychology is one of those fields where it's basically an academic meritocracy. You are ranked according to your academic pedigree and unless you get at least a master's in clinical psyche and get certified and go into business on your own, you will always be basically a grunt. That's the reality. The question is, how much do you really love this career prospect?

 

Try to re-frame the way you look at this (not easy, I know). You at least have a job that pays money, which is something about 15 million or so people in this country cannot say. Use this as time to reassess what you want your next steps to be.

 

 

Thanks Amerikajin, you make excellent points. I completely understand the academic meritocracy aspect of this and I have no expectation of being treated like a clinician when I am not one. And I understand that it may confuse some on the staff here that while I don't have the clinical degree, because I have a lot of other psychology-related background both academically and in the workplace, I can speak knowledgeably about psychology theory and practice. I'm sure they're quite honestly unsure where I fit.

 

But...how do I deal with the whole thing that I "threaten" these two women, and the feeling I get that there's no respect for me here? Do I really just suck it up for another 1.5 years until I can get to grad school?

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Thanks Amerikajin, you make excellent points. I completely understand the academic meritocracy aspect of this and I have no expectation of being treated like a clinician when I am not one. And I understand that it may confuse some on the staff here that while I don't have the clinical degree, because I have a lot of other psychology-related background both academically and in the workplace, I can speak knowledgeably about psychology theory and practice. I'm sure they're quite honestly unsure where I fit.

 

But...how do I deal with the whole thing that I "threaten" these two women, and the feeling I get that there's no respect for me here? Do I really just suck it up for another 1.5 years until I can get to grad school?

 

Oh, I think they have already decided where you fit. The question they probably have in their minds is, are you sure where you fit? They are waiting to see if you are going to be the type to call them out and challenge them on their decision making or if you're going to toe the line. Just remember, like it or not, they have the power. They hold the cards. If it were me, I would probably tone down what I know and then gradually gain their acceptance and trust. If you speak out or contradict them, you're going to be on their radar as a threat. Privately bounce things off of the medical director/clinician, but publicly wear the same colors as the organization.

 

The reality is that this isn't going to be the place for you to make your mark. You know that. The question is, how do you handle that? Do you try to swim against the current, or do you take a pragmatic approach, work within the system, and try to influence it where you can before moving to a place where you can effect change more easily?

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Oh, I think they have already decided where you fit. The question they probably have in their minds is, are you sure where you fit? They are waiting to see if you are going to be the type to call them out and challenge them on their decision making or if you're going to toe the line. Just remember, like it or not, they have the power. They hold the cards. If it were me, I would probably tone down what I know and then gradually gain their acceptance and trust. If you speak out or contradict them, you're going to be on their radar as a threat. Privately bounce things off of the medical director/clinician, but publicly wear the same colors as the organization.

 

The reality is that this isn't going to be the place for you to make your mark. You know that. The question is, how do you handle that? Do you try to swim against the current, or do you take a pragmatic approach, work within the system, and try to influence it where you can before moving to a place where you can effect change more easily?

 

Amerikajin, your words ring wise and true. I wish I could tuck you into my bag each morning as I prepare for work, to rein in my ambition in relation to this job, and rein in my irreverence and contempt for their smallness. (Or what I perceive to be their smallness.)

 

I think the medical director, a reasonably smart and well-trained person and clinician, has been trying to counsel me along the same lines as you are. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around this advice, not because I don't see its logic, but because I am by nature an outspoken person. I'm not confrontational; I truly aim to help and to please; and I guess I keep falling into this pit where I think, "If I just show them how much brains and talent I have, they'll like and respect me more!" I've typically won my way to a seat at a table by demonstrating that I'm exceptional, i.e., willing to go that extra mile. I've never really known how to handle people who are more threatened by ability than desiring of putting it to use to achieve positive ends. I feel that at this organization I am being deliberately stymied not for the good of the organization, but rather for petty and maladaptive ends by the people who hold the power.

 

So what is the right thing to do here? The medical director told me that eventually I might win the trust of TPTB...but he also acknowledged that it's unlikely I'll ever be given any real opportunity here to make use of any of my skills (and I'm not talking clinical skills, but things like writing, managerial, editorial, marketing, research, fundraising skills--all demonstrated in spades on my resume). So basically my lot here is just, and pardon my crassness here, to take it up the a*s and expect nothing, not even that I will keep my job (just last week, without warning, they terminated one of my coworkers; he had no clue. And none of us signed any contract).

 

How can I do that for 1.5 more years? Or more precisely, approximately one year and 9 or 10 months? :confused::(

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If you make them to terminate you, then you'll get some unemployment insurance from the govermanent, with your current company to pay the premium. It is not too bad. Usually the pay is half of your salary for up to close to 2 years, with upper limit. Considering the low tax %, you may not loss too much money by not working and suffering everyday, and can focus on preparing for your graduate study or some other self-improve activities.

 

Check above for details then decide if you want to make the wave. I completely understand you - some people are non-talkable for whatever reason but they hold the card. You have to deal with them wisely.

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Hi GreenCove,

 

I can totally relate to what you're going through. I know how tough it is just to have the energy to get out of bed thinking it's another day at work. I too have a very good degree under my belt but had to settle for a job after months of job search. During the months when I didn't have a job, I was depressed and freaking out at the thought of not ever finding job. Now that I'm in this new one, I don't feel any better. I'm finding it even more difficult to cope as I have to put on an "I'm alright" face all the time at work.

 

I understand the feeling of being trapped in the new job thinking how hard it is to get a job these days. I'm thinking of leaving my job too. I just have this feeling of being detached at my job and to the people I work with. I don't even have the slightest motivation to please my boss or make new friends.

 

I think it's best to take it week by week. If this week was not so great, hope for a better next week and so on until you've made a full decision whether to stay or not. It's also good to secure a new job before you leave the current one.

 

That's what I'm planning to do if I completely lose it at work!:mad:

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