Does married coworker have crush on me too?

[nytoaz]

I've had a crush on a married coworker for a few months now. We work closely together, not so close that it's unbearable, but I can feel my face flush when he walks by. I have NO DESIRE for this to be anything but a harmless crush, but I wonder, does he have a crush on me too?

 

We have a great relationship and will email, text, and share "inside joke" glances at each other during the day. And he goes out of his way to help me, find reasons to talk to me, etc. When we do talk he often says, "that's something my wife would say," or "you sound just like my wife." Is he comparing me to her in a favorable way, or trying to remind me that he's married?!

 

Like I said I have no intention of this turning into anything but a harmless crush, but I have a feeling he can tell I like him, and I'm just curious if there's anything to it when he says things like that.

[2sunny]

I've had a crush on a married coworker for a few months now. We work closely together, not so close that it's unbearable, but I can feel my face flush when he walks by. I have NO DESIRE for this to be anything but a harmless crush, but I wonder, does he have a crush on me too?

 

We have a great relationship and will email, text, and share "inside joke" glances at each other during the day. And he goes out of his way to help me, find reasons to talk to me, etc. When we do talk he often says, "that's something my wife would say," or "you sound just like my wife." Is he comparing me to her in a favorable way, or trying to remind me that he's married?!

 

Like I said I have no intention of this turning into anything but a harmless crush, but I have a feeling he can tell I like him, and I'm just curious if there's anything to it when he says things like that.

 

if i were you - i'd stop with all the interaction that will lead to a lot of pain and a lost job.

 

you are playing with fire = you will get burned.

 

if he starts with personal info or inappropriate interaction - let him know you are busy doing your job.

 

don't waste any more time or energy wondering why this or why that - he does it because YOU let him - tell him to stop it.

[lilbunny]

Having been there and got the t-shirt, this could be one of two things. Either he is genuinely just being friendly therefore has no reason not to chat openly about his wife, or he mentions her to see how you react i.e. you know I'm married, are you still going to flirt? That's not to say he has intentionally set out to do anything either.

 

Honestly, 'in-jokes', glances and 'harmless' crushes can very easily be the rocky road to an EA and a PA that you never intended to get swept up in, but it just got out of hand. I know I've been there and there is a whole world of heartache in that for me. Private chats and confiding in each other came after that, sloping off for cigarette breaks on our own and purposely not inviting others, hovering around for the other in the mornings, then contact outside of work. All of that was meant to be innocent in itself, but ultimately it wasn't innocent at all.

 

If you really don't want this to go anywhere, ask yourself why it matters if he feels the same? I think you are possibly at the first step already. My advice- if it is no more to you than a crush at this point, create a bit of distance and save yourself the emotional rollercoaster.

[nytoaz]

Thanks for the advice. We are friends so there's nothing I need to tell him to stop doing. And like I said, there is no chance of it turning into an EA or PA, I've been the other woman before when I was much younger, and would never do it again, way too much pain.

 

I was just curious if he may have a stated reason for bringing her up in conversation like that. It's really no biggie, like I said, NO CHANCE of it going anywhere.

[nytoaz]

Oh, and thanks for the info on your situation lilbunny. I've never worked with anyone that I would ever be attracted to before, so at least I have some warning signs to know if things are approaching an innappropriate point.

[lilbunny]

Oh, and thanks for the info on your situation lilbunny. I've never worked with anyone that I would ever be attracted to before, so at least I have some warning signs to know if things are approaching an innappropriate point.

 

Just looking out for you. We were friends for about two years before it turned into something else. I never saw it coming, despite the big red flags and flashing lights that should have been waving in my face. My other work mate did and I really wish she had said something, but then I would have probably given her the 'don't be daft we are just mates' speech anyway. I didn't even know what an EA was, so you are a bit more clued up than I was.

 

One thing that has just occurred to me which could be something or nothing, but despite being friends for so long he never, ever used her name if he mentioned her, she was always 'the missus' or 'the wife'. I'm not convinced he did that with other people.

 

Anyway, be vigilant, I said I would never be the OW ever for anyone!

[sarkandlauren]

I feel compelled to warn you here, I've been there. If at all possible, tone down the interactions. I know you guys are friends, but if you are already thinking about this, you're already slowly falling for him. Please, please please, get out of this hole as soon as possible. Nothing good will come out of this. EA are no fun. You are going to end up being hurt.

[stillafool]

I've had a crush on a married coworker for a few months now. We work closely together, not so close that it's unbearable, but I can feel my face flush when he walks by. I have NO DESIRE for this to be anything but a harmless crush, but I wonder, does he have a crush on me too?

 

We have a great relationship and will email, text, and share "inside joke" glances at each other during the day. And he goes out of his way to help me, find reasons to talk to me, etc. When we do talk he often says, "that's something my wife would say," or "you sound just like my wife." Is he comparing me to her in a favorable way, or trying to remind me that he's married?!

 

Like I said I have no intention of this turning into anything but a harmless crush, but I have a feeling he can tell I like him, and I'm just curious if there's anything to it when he says things like that.

 

I think he is saying these things about his wife because he is very fond of her. Usually MM who want to get in your pants don't mention their wife. Especially in a positive way.