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I think I'm about to get fired :(


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I've been working at a local cable access station doing production and editing work while I'm in school.

 

I started about a year ago, and for most of my time there I worked really hard and did a good job.

 

A few months ago I suddenly started being less reliable. I don't know what happened, and there really is no excuse. I turned in two assignments a day late. I taught a two night class and my managers said I wasn't adequately prepared.

 

Anyway, both managers had a meeting with me today. I was on the verge of tears but kept them in. They said they're not sure if they're going to continue with me. They said the quality of my work has been really good but in Jan and Feb I wasn't reliable (which is true).

 

The thing that made me feel worst is they brought up a lot of small things where I had actually done my best but something went wrong with the equipment or there was some misunderstanding (where another coworker had badmouthed me so they were getting their info second hand).

 

I guess it really bothers me that even when I do my best, I end up making mistakes and that people will say things about me based on misunderstandings and they'll always take the superior's word over mine.

 

I also don't think I did a good job for the first part of the meeting coming across well. I tend to get defensive when people accuse me of things that aren't true (which happened here due to a few second-hand misunderstandings). Then later I always realize that the smart thing is just to not question what superiors accuse me of.

 

I tried to damage control and was really apologetic about being unreliable (which I genuinely feel awful about), but who knows if they bought it.

 

It sucks that I've put so much work into this place and had a consistent track record up until recently.

 

But as I wrote earlier what scares me most is the stuff I can't control. I worry that even if they keep me on, they'll nitpick everything I do and knowing myself even when I try my best I'll make some minor mistakes here and there because I'm so ADD.

 

Jobs stress me out so much and I always screw up. Even when I try hard, I always forget something. That's the way I am. It's so frustrating when you feel like it's not in your control. Like even if I make sure I'm reliable with deadlines, how do I handle the stuff where I just forget an important detail?

 

The worst is when you think you've been doing a job and then find out later (right before you're fired) that your employer has been accumulating a list of grievances (some of them untrue) that they never communicated to you at the time.

 

They're going to give me a decision next week.

 

Fck. I feel awful.

Edited by shadowplay
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threebyfate

shadow, I don't know anything about the labor laws in your state but don't they need to take some form of progressive termination action? Have they ever spoken to you before?

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shadow, I don't know anything about the labor laws in your state but don't they need to take some form of progressive termination action? Have they ever spoken to you before?

 

What do you mean by progressive termination action?

 

No, this is the first time they've spoken to me about all of this.

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threebyfate

Once again, I don't know your state's labor laws but most often, employers will take a staggered 1-2-3 approach to termination, to ensure there aren't any wrongful dismissal suits, filed against them.

 

The 1-2-3 approach, ensures that the employee has been given proper training and tools, with enough warnings about cleaning up their act for recurring problems, previous to termination.

 

Having said that, one more question. Are you a contract employee or an "at-will" employee?

 

No matter what the reasons, make sure you work like a dog and keep your head down, for the next week.

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Once again, I don't know your state's labor laws but most often, employers will take a staggered 1-2-3 approach to termination, to ensure there aren't any wrongful dismissal suits, filed against them.

 

The 1-2-3 approach, ensures that the employee has been given proper training and tools, with enough warnings about cleaning up their act for recurring problems, previous to termination.

 

Having said that, one more question. Are you a contract employee or an "at-will" employee?

 

No matter what the reasons, make sure you work like a dog and keep your head down, for the next week.

 

I don't know whether I'm contract or at will. The job is off-campus (not connected to the school) but it's paid work study through the University. I'm thinking about contacting the University tomorrow to ask that question and find out if I have any rights in regards to this. I guess it's more complicated because the business isn't connected to the school (it's through the town government), but my earnings are also mostly paid by the school.

 

Unfortunately I don't have the opportunity to show them a good job before they make their decision, as I don't have any new assignments to work on and I kind of got the sense they didn't want me to do anything until they had decided.

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threebyfate
I don't know whether I'm contract or at will. The job is off-campus (not connected to the school) but it's paid work study through the University. I'm thinking about contacting the University tomorrow to ask that question and find out if I have any rights in regards to this. I guess it's more complicated because the business isn't connected to the school (it's through the town government), but my earnings are also mostly paid by the school.

 

Unfortunately I don't have the opportunity to show them a good job before they make their decision, as I don't have any new assignments to work on and I kind of got the sense they didn't want me to do anything until they had decided.

I'm not certain you should ask anything beyond whether you're contract or at-will. It doesn't take much for whomever you talk to at the school, to pick up the phone and call their affiliated counterparties.

 

Unless they specifically stated that you aren't to do anything until they decided, I would still continue working, if at all possible. This way, you're not giving them anymore fuel for their termination fire.

 

Edit - as a thought, you might want to throw yourself at their mercy, in reference to your unwanted pregnancy and abortion. You were under a great deal of emotional stress during this time but now it's over. If you're going to talk to them, do it in the next day or so.

Edited by threebyfate
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The sudden list of grievance and the complaint about being unprepared to teach makes me think your employers are slightly clueless as to how to treat their employees right. It doesn't change the fact that you best bet is to keep working hard and keep your head down, but, a good employer would have an approach where "mistakes" are adressed on a needs basis and not suddenly be mobilized for contract termination.

 

As to teaching... Please allow me to rant. Was it your first time teaching? did they give you any training? Any past teaching plan? I've taught and have a lot of friends who are teachers and they will all tell you: no one is prepared for the first class they teach, no matter what it is and no matter how much time they can put into preparation. No one knows, until they do it, what teaching entails. Every teacher I spoke to (and I'm currently doing research on teaching practices) has said that the first year they taught, they had no idea what they were doing, that they have to teach a class at least three times before they feel they truly master it. And these are people who have a teaching degree. So really, unless your employers provided you with a fully detailed minute by minute teaching plan, what exatly were they expecting for preparation?

Edited by Kamille
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As to teaching... Please allow me to rant. Was it your first time teaching? did they give you any training? Any past teaching plan? I've taught and have a lot of friends who are teachers and they will all tell you: no one is prepared for the first class they teach, no matter what it is and no matter how much time they can put into preparation. No one knows, until they do it, what teaching entails. Every teacher I spoke to (and I'm currently doing research on teaching practices) has said that the first year they taught, they had no idea what they were doing, that they have to teach a class at least three times before they feel they truly master it. And these are people who have a teaching degree. So really, unless your employers provided you with a fully detailed minute by minute teaching plan, what exatly were they expecting for preparation?

 

Yeah, while I agreed with them about my unreliability in other regards, I felt the criticism of my teaching was unwarranted. It was the first class I've ever taught in anything. I thought I did a good job of covering the material, but my pacing was off. Each class was three hours long (on consecutive nights) and they both ended early because I overestimated how long it would take me to cover the material.

 

Also, the class covered a video software which I'm well versed in, but I'm not great with hardware. The hardware screwed up twice during the class and I had to ask another staff member who was there for help. They brought this up.

 

Here's what really bugs me. There's this lady who works there who I've helped out a bunch. I even house-sat her dog over a weekend when she and her partner were on vacation. She doesn't know anything about the software that I was teaching or video production/editing in general (she's an outreach manager). She was in another (adjacent) room while I was teaching.

 

Anyway, apparently she complained to them about how I taught the class in that I asked this other guy for help and she also claimed I wasn't paying attention to what he was doing when he fixed the problem, which is totally untrue. I also have no clue how she would know this as she wasn't even in the room. This is where I got defensive during the meeting and was like "that's simply not true."

 

In terms of how they expected me to prepare, here's what they told me. Before the class the only preparation they offered was for me to attend one of the classes taught by someone else. But this conflicted with my work schedule as I was working at the desk during these hours. I told them this at the time, and also said that I would try to leave the desk and stop in for some amount of the class if I could. They also framed it like I was there to help rather than watch how it was done. So when the class happened, I came in when the desk how slowed down and asked the girl (one of the two managers who spoke with me at the meeting) if she needed help but she said that she felt like she had it covered. Also, they put it as if it wasn't required that I attend the class but it would help. Now one of my bosses tell me that it was actually required. How was I supposed to know that?

 

This manager told me at the meeting today that I should have come to her a week before I taught the class to get preparation materials. The thing is I didn't even know that there was an outline that other teachers had used. Like she never told me, this is how you prepare.

 

Another thing she mentioned is that I didn't ask how to set up the monitor for the powerpoint well in advance of the class. Why is this even a problem? I came plenty early before the class started and asked and set it up then. Everything was set up with an hour to go before the class started.

Edited by shadowplay
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If they decide to keep me on, do you guys think I should confront this lady about what she told them? I really want to say to her, "look, this is my first time teaching. It's hard enough, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't nitpick my performance from another room. If you have a problem with what I'm doing, maybe you can address it to me first." Obviously I'd need to put it in a more tactful, polite way, but that's the basic sentiment. Although she's not my manager and doesn't have any control about whether I get fired or not, she has a higher position than I do.

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I know that you're big concern is getting fired - but in your OP you also mentioned that you were upset because something went wrong with equipment etc. and there was miscommunication and badmouthing going on.

 

I know this doesn't make it better, BUT that exact scenario is par for the course in that line of work. That happens in every station, to pretty much everyone.

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Shadow, you have my full sympathies for your teaching experience. My first was as a sessional lecturer in a university. I had to ask the administrative assistants for everything (pasts course outlines, etc). The department chair really seriously told me: "I hired you because you have a degree in the field. Now, there's nothing I can do about whether you succeed or not". And like you, I didn't know how to plan a course, so for the first few weeks, I would either finish too early or not finish everything I had planned. (Often, my problem was that I didn't explain enough. I thought if I said something once, then students would find me boring if I kept repeating it.)

 

If they decide to keep me on, do you guys think I should confront this lady about what she told them? I really want to say to her, "look, this is my first time teaching. It's hard enough, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't nitpick my performance from another room. If you have a problem with what I'm doing, maybe you can address it to me first." Obviously I'd need to put it in a more tactful, polite way, but that's the basic sentiment. Although she's not my manager and doesn't have any control about whether I get fired or not, she has a higher position than I do.

 

If they decide to keep you on, do not say anything. At least not until you feel confident that you are back on your employers' good graces.

 

What I would do in your shoes, if your employers keep you on, is ask them for a monthly performance review so that you can improve your skills. This would prevent the laundry list of reproaches.

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Lauriebell82

The worst is when you think you've been doing a job and then find out later (right before you're fired) that your employer has been accumulating a list of grievances (some of them untrue) that they never communicated to you at the time.

 

OH!!! (raises hand)

 

This was me 7 months ago..it sucked. I am very sorry for this. At least they are giving you a warning though..I know that doesn't make you feel any better but I have to give them credit for not tricking you into thinking your job is safe.

 

I suggest starting to look for a new job..it's over unfortunately. I'm sorry!

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Shadow, unless you're in a union, a state employee in certain positions, or employed under a contract for a particular period of time or a specific project (i.e., like an actor on a particular film, or an architecht on a particular building), you're probably an at-will employee. So... given what you've described, and assuming you're still in MA, then yeah - you're an at-will employee. This means you can be fired at the will of your employer, and you too can quit at your will.

 

In any event, I am unaware of any state that REQUIRES progressive discipline for at-will employees. At-will is just that - they can fire you at their will, for any reason that's not an illegal reason (i.e., due to discrimination, etc.). They can fire you because they just don't like you, because you wear too much perfume, because your work isn't what they want, because they can't afford you, because you type too loudly, because you're annoying, whatever. (And of course I mean the "you" in the general sense. :) )

 

I think that your new relationship might have played a part in your unreliability. I know in my past, the fledgling part of any new relationship has caused me to be a little flighty and unpredictable at work. Do you think that might be true with you as well? Or your pregnancy? Do you have a sort of relationship with your bosses where you could share that you were going through some personal stuff (without going into detail), but that has since resolved itself, and you're committed to, well, being committed and reliable again? You can point out how reliable and consistent you were for the year before this 2-month blip, and perhaps they'll believe this was just a blip.

 

Also, something it took me a LONG time to learn (and it's still tough to swallow): Wish some superiors, you CAN explain yourself or show that their perception is wrong. With others, you just have to smile and take it, agree with their statements and promise to be better. It takes a little bit of time to figure out which way a superior operates, but once you figure it out, you'e golden.

 

It also always helps to fall on your sword. I'm the first to admit when I make a mistake at work (as in, I point out my own error before they even see/notice it), and I've gained a TON of credibility from my partners for that.

 

That, and for the next couple weeks, go above and beyond in everything you do.

 

HTH a bit. :)

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FreddieJones

Shadow, be calm and cool and try to handle the situation. Its not going to be worst if you decided to sort it out, talk to every concern and make them assure that all will be fine in future and try to keep quite if you are thinking to give a response, don't do it now and most important of all, try to search a new job for you.

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threebyfate
If they decide to keep me on, do you guys think I should confront this lady about what she told them? I really want to say to her, "look, this is my first time teaching. It's hard enough, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't nitpick my performance from another room. If you have a problem with what I'm doing, maybe you can address it to me first." Obviously I'd need to put it in a more tactful, polite way, but that's the basic sentiment. Although she's not my manager and doesn't have any control about whether I get fired or not, she has a higher position than I do.
No, I wouldn't confront her, especially now. Stay away from conflict or generating any drama, whether she deserves it or not.

 

One thing. If management is looking for dirt on someone, they will go to other employees to find it. It's possible that's what happened in this case, where instead of her approaching management, they approached her and she either gave an erroneous accounting of the situation or, management has twisted the story around to fit their needs.

 

As previously stated, put your head down and if there's any work to be done, do it effectively.

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Thanks for the responses guys. I spent time composing an email that I think came out pretty well and sent it to the managers last night.

 

I talked about the unwanted pregnancy, which was hard to do. I also explained a few things related to the class that I hadn't communicated well in the meeting. That said I was careful to apologize profusely for the slip in my reliability and couch everything in a "to explain, not excuse" context. And I volunteered to do any assignments in the meantime that they have kicking around. I haven't gotten a response yet. We'll see how it goes over. At this point there isn't much I can do. I'll just wait to hear back.

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whichwayisup

You wrote them and it was honest. Hopefully they'll see all that you've gone through recently and give you another chance.

 

I like that you said explain! As most bosses could assume justification/excuses..

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SadandConfusedWA

Honestly, your bosses sound like a-holes. You were probably distracted by the new bf as SG suggested (and that's completly understandable).

 

I wish you the best, but if you end up getting fired - you must tell that horrible woman off :mad:

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I just go the email from the girl. She decided to fire me. After I sent her a long email explaining the abortion situation, and the misunderstandings with the class.

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threebyfate

I'm sorry to hear this shadow. :(

 

Firing via email is just brutal and also, unusual. Employers rarely want to put a termination notice, in cyberspace writing. How was it worded?

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I just go the email from the girl. She decided to fire me. After I sent her a long email explaining the abortion situation, and the misunderstandings with the class.

 

I'm sorry to hear that Shadow. Firing by email is harsh and... unprofessional in my opinion.

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I just go the email from the girl. She decided to fire me. After I sent her a long email explaining the abortion situation, and the misunderstandings with the class.

 

:( She did it by email? :(

 

Do you have a relationship with her where you could inquire what she'll say when called for references?

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:( She did it by email? :(

 

Do you have a relationship with her where you could inquire what she'll say when called for references?

 

Yes.

 

No, I don't. At this point, I feel like she's a pretty cold person. She's one year out of college herself, and this is her first real job. In fact she was an intern on the same level as me (we started at the same time) and then she got promoted, in part because she graduated first.

 

It feels pretty bad to have written this long email talking about the abortion/pregnancy, which was hard enough to do, and then get fired. And never be given any warning that they had problems with my performance.

 

I mean it's one thing to fire anybody, but the fact that I'm a work study student who relies on this money to pay my tuition makes it doubly worse. Work study students are almost never fired unless for very extreme circumstances.

 

I know my job is lost, but I feel like I should do something to discourage other students from working there because I'd hate to see the same thing happen to somebody else. Maybe write a letter to the school paper?

Edited by shadowplay
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