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So I hate my job...


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I get physcially ill I hate my job so much. I am constantly paranoid I wil be fired, if I make any mistakes, no matter how small. The problem is no one tells me the details, and if they do, well they change. Like we are having a management meeting at a hotel, normally there are 9 people. My boss was talking to me about an outing the day after and that X was going, and everyone else from the managers meeting. I had already worked out the details with the hotel. Come to find out two more people are going to this meeting. Travel last week changed three times in two days, with people going I heard from other people at the last minute.

 

My bos hate me, yell at me for their mistakes, and get upset because I don't "anticipate their needs." Which is impossible when they change so often.

 

But on a bright note I am moving to another department, and they are interviewing to find me a replacement (for the last two months). They made an offer to one person and she declined. They finally made an offer to another woman, here's the kickers. They called an old boss of hers to make sure she has a sense of humor before they would decide to hire her. HAHAHA! I guess I have a sense of humor because I find that funny.

 

I am drowing in work and they can't decide if they want to hire a qualified person because they don't know if she will laugh at their jokes. LOL!

 

Today I have my review, wish me luck...

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good luck, and remember, not all your superiors are going to see you the same ... each has a different understanding and respect of the gifts you bring to the company.

 

as for the anticipating needs thing ... well, just remind them that you're neither house mother nor mind-reader, and that people are responsible for alerting you in a timely manner, otherwise you are not able to work your special magic.

 

sense of humor: Get you a voodoo doll for your office, heh heh heh ...

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sorry red that is terrible.

 

At least you are being transfered.

 

My bosses changed thier mind a lot too. Also they forget to tell me stuff. So now I have a list of questions I ask after they tell me something.

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To make things worse when I try to ask questions I get reponses like "is this important", "can this wait", etc. What am I supposed to say, no it can't. Stop what you're doing and answer my question. I know part of it's because they don't like me. Because other people dont have problems getting a moment of their time to ask questions...

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I am at a loss. My bosses no longer trust me. Today I was reviewing a folder with my new boss. I had to print and three hole punch several documents. My boss asked me if she needed to double check the folder for me to make sure it's correct. i said no, I printed what was in the folder (electronic) and put it in the binder. She asked if the details for a particular report were there (twice, she doesn't want them included) I said, "no, they aren't even in the folder...".

 

Last week I got yelled at so bad (via e-mail) by our CEO about a mistake he made that our CFO even came over to my desk to see if I was okay and to comment on how mean he was. My boss asked me to expense some receipts, which I did and he was reimbursed. Turns out he used his company card to purchase both items. I sent an e-mail saying he would need to write the company a personal check for X amount because these two items were purchased on his company card. He wrote back quoting company policy about purchasing policy. I went to our CFO and asked him to reply, he said my e-mail was very clear but that he would explain further. My boss then replied telling me I needed to explain things more clearly and asking me how I goofed up so badly on these. I replied that he wrote "expense" on the top of both receipts and that I did what he asked. He never replied.

 

I am supporting a department and the CEO and COO, and am overwhelmed, I haven't taken a lunch in over a month, and have worked overtime. When I told my boss this earlier this week he told me he was disappointed by the mistake I made...he never offered advice, a solution, nothing. He then followed that up by telling me I need to pay better attention to details.

 

But again, how can I when they change and they don't even tell me. Like I am planning a company meeting next week, and have been for a few weeks working on the specific's. I asked one person who I need help from about it and he told me they decided in a meeting this morning to rent a local place for the meeting. They never told me. Then I ask my boss about he says oh yeah and the day has changed...

 

I am at a loss. I have always done very well at jobs, promoting quickly and several times. Here they don't like me. I am depressed, and upset. Yet, I continue to work overtime. To the point where I worked 7 hours of overtime and they still made me take PTO one day that same week.

 

Some days I want to just quit, but I know I shouldn't...

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So I just had my review. I am on a period of performance for the next 30 days, if I don't improve they said they would fire me. The things they put in my review were: not checking my bosses outbox, that he had to remind me twice - I responded that his door is always shut and that I would come over several times a day and not be able to get in. His 2nd comment was that I didn't put his travel itineray (for his trip last week) on his calendar. My problem with that is the review is for Jan-June, so why are they adding comments from August...

 

I think it's time I look for another job...? Or I can try to get in their good graces again...!

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So I just had my review. I am on a period of performance for the next 30 days, if I don't improve they said they would fire me. The things they put in my review were: not checking my bosses outbox, that he had to remind me twice - I responded that his door is always shut and that I would come over several times a day and not be able to get in. His 2nd comment was that I didn't put his travel itineray (for his trip last week) on his calendar. My problem with that is the review is for Jan-June, so why are they adding comments from August...

 

I think it's time I look for another job...? Or I can try to get in their good graces again...!

 

they want you out. Look or another job.

 

I used to worked in am extremely hostile environment. My immediate supervisor hated me. She bad mouthed me to everyone esp new people.

 

I wasn't allowed to interact with my co workers. I even got written up for excessive talking HA!

 

When I found another job and quit it wsa so amazing how much better I felt.

 

The job tied me in knots I was so angry and stressed all the time it was making me sick and taking over my life.

 

When I left I felt such a weight lifted it was truly amazing.

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they want you out. Look or another job.

 

I used to worked in am extremely hostile environment. My immediate supervisor hated me. She bad mouthed me to everyone esp new people.

 

I wasn't allowed to interact with my co workers. I even got written up for excessive talking HA!

 

When I found another job and quit it wsa so amazing how much better I felt.

 

The job tied me in knots I was so angry and stressed all the time it was making me sick and taking over my life.

 

When I left I felt such a weight lifted it was truly amazing.

 

I absolutey agree with this advice! I just walked away from the exact same type of situation two months ago, after being at a company for 8 years. The job was making me physically sick, and nothing I could do would make my direct boss happy, even though the senior management of the company loved me and my work.

 

When I resigned, it sent a shockwave through alot of senior management. The best parting gift I got was through a much higher level friend at the company - whose executive boss said "if we can't make X happy here and retain him - then there are some serious issues with his division managers, and this needs to be addressed"

 

Get out. It's not worth sacrificing your sanity and health over.

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I just had a review in June and I scored much better. All of the hostility started when I came back from disability after having brain surgery, which is a treatment for a condition I have...

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for some reason, it sounds like they're trying to edge you out by creating a hostile working environment. Do your job, don't worry about working overtime but get in your required hours every day, and start looking elsewhere.

 

because as another poster said, it's not worth your mental or physical health to put up with a crappy job like this.

 

hugs,

q

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You need to get out of Admin work you do not have a thick enough skin to be dealing with people of that profile.

 

Is there anything else you could do for a living ? Or any other job you could do within the same or similar company ?

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they want you out. Look or another job.

 

 

I couldn't agree more.. the wheels are actually in motion now with the nit picky review..

They have laid the foundation for a firing for cause..that began with your transfer and now being finished up with the poor review that doesn't make sense

 

Look for another job.. now...

 

While you may be able to recover from the firing that is being laid out by the management right now by bending over backwards to meet their demands you won't be happy in the end and another attempt will be just around the corner.

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There is a support group for this you know. It's called "everybody" and they meet at the bar. - - Drew Carey. ;)

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You don't like your bosses and they don't like you. Most of us who have had a lot of working experience have encountered that impossible situation at some stage. Usually it's possible to find something to like about another person you're working with. Something endearing about them....and if you can find something endearing about another person, they'll generally sense it and warm to you, despite the usual problems that arise at work.

 

Occasionally, things get so toxic between colleagues that they can't see any positives in eachother. Everyone demonises and gets demonised. If you're right in the thick of that, and you're the junior staff member (therefore the one who will be deemed to be in the wrong, however unfair that might be) then the usual advice of "quietly set about getting another job, and try to leave with as little ill will as possible" is the best advice.

 

Sometimes you can talk things out with an employer or colleagues, and actually bring about improvements to a working situation....but usually it takes an independent person to assist that kind of negotiation. There also has to be a general recognition that "things aren't good here - the environment has become toxic". It takes several smart, influential, fair and objective people in a team to get to that recognition. It also requires some bravery on the part of people in the team in facing up to the things that are less ideal about them personally and professionally. So, far more common is the scenario of one or two people getting scapegoated by the rest of the team - most of whom don't have the time, inclination or ability to analyse what's really going on or how they themselves might be contributing to/responsible for difficulties. Once they (the scapegoats) leave or are dismissed, someone else walks into their shoes and becomes the next whipping person. How long they stay will be dependent on whether they can inhabit that role with tolerance and humour.

 

You can almost guarantee that's what your bosses mean when they talk about wanting someone with a sense of humour. Good humour is a very useful asset that helps people to keep a sense of proportion in a highly stressed environment. When someone's expected to maintain a "sense of humour" about being crapped all over on a daily basis, blamed and scapegoated then that's just cynical abuse of the concept that "humour is important". Putting up with that crap with a smile is less about having a sense of humour, more about being prepared to enable seniors to believe bullying, chaotic working styles are acceptable, normal practice in "the real world".

 

As long as you present yourself pleasantly, intelligently and diplomatically (with regard to any mentions you make of your previous employer) then a dodgy reference from a vindictive employer is unlikely to hold you back when it comes to going for other jobs. If it does hold you back, then it may well be because your interviewers are of the same ilk as your previous employer. In which case you don't want to find yourself stuck working with them.

 

I went for an interview once, during a time when I was working in a pretty horrendous firm. I could tell from my interviewers' non verbals when they mentioned that firm's name came up that they didn't hold much brief for it. They were very curious as to why I'd chosen to go to that particular firm, and kept asking me questions that were designed to encourage me to vent. I responded diplomatically and without saying a word against my existing employers - but used non verbals (eg meaningful eye contact, slight smiles etc) that would let them know "yep - they're a bunch of losers - and working there is complete hell." If you develop a rapport with prospective employers during interview, you can get away with that.

 

I got the job, and once I was comfortable there I asked the senior partner what kind of reference my previous boss had given me. He gave me a supremely arch look, and said "I didn't ask him for one. Why on earth would I care what X thinks about anything?"

 

When you're there in the thick of it, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that these people have all kinds of power over you and your future employment prospects. They don't. The unpleasant, bullying, stressed out and chaotic manner you're describing from your bosses is something that their competitors will have picked up on as part of sussing out the competition. I've sometimes interviewed people for jobs, I've known about the workplace they were coming from - and if they were overly positive about a place that generally had a bad rep, I'd think "hmmm."

 

You don't need to love or even like your existing employers to get another job somewhere better. All you need to do to impress prospective employers at interview is be courteous about your previous/existing employers, and highly positive about the company interviewing you. Get applying, and good luck!

 

NB. I'm really sorry to hear about your recent operation, and hope that it went okay. I think you should also make an appointment with an employment lawyer to discuss whether this situation smacks of disability discrimination. The test for disability is quite strict where I live (and from a brief glance, it seems that it's even stricter in the US) so you may be advised that you don't meet it. However, there are all kinds of routes to take a dodgy employer to task. If you're being bullied and this is affecting you physically, you should discuss this with your doctor.

 

If you want to give yourself the option of taking an action against your employer (eg if they do dismiss you) you'll most probably have to formally raise a grievance stating "I am being bullied to the extent that it is affecting my health. The bullying environment here is a health and safety risk". It's a long shot, but if they dismiss you after that you could argue that they dismissed you for whistle blowing a health and safety issue. One of the problems is that they have now openly indicated to you that there's a possibility you'll be fired....which places them in the position of being able to say "she only raised these issues because she knew her job was on the line". I do think, however, that you should make an appointment with a lawyer. Your employer doesn't need to know you're doing that - and based on what you're saying (particularly the fact that they started bullying you after you had serious surgery) I think you should take full advice on this.

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Thank you all for your wise words! I will start looking for other work as an option. My new boss (in my new "department") met with me on Friday and said they sahred my review with her and she told me their verbiage was very critical, mush more then she is. I think that was her way of saying they were nit-picky. She told me she is going to position me for success over the next 30 days so I can move past this. She told me as long as I do my job she will be happy. She told me to relax over the weekend and to come back refreshed.

 

I really want to do a good job, which for the most part I think I have. I admit that I made some mistakes, most small. I was/am stressed, working many hours with a lot of responsabilities. Now those will hopefully be more managable.

 

The thing I don't get is that several people have screwed up so much worse then I ever have. Including my boss who lost us a contract. We had employees having sex in the office, my boss loves them...

 

A woman who was just promoted back talked and walked off the job for a day. She misses so much work, and never calls in sick...

 

My old assistant missed 70 days (called in sick) in less then a year!

 

My husband and I got food poisoning last night, I was up a while and still feel sick, but managable...yet here I am!

 

It's very frustrating, so I appreciate everything you all said. Tama, my condition is covered under ADA, which is good to know...

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We had employees having sex in the office, my boss loves them...

 

there's your answer, hon – ya gotta be a pig to work for that department! :p

 

sounds like the new boss has her head on straight (or rather, doesn't have it up her butt), and is ready/willing to work with you because she sees something very positive in you as an employee. My guess is that you'll blossom under her tutelage. Because when someone tells you "don't worry about work, you just go enjoy yourself," it says that they respect you as their employee and understand that you need to have separate time from the job ... she sounds like she's got star quality.

 

so ... hugs, good luck with the new position, and forget about the pendejos in the other department. You're gonna do just fine, red!

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I would still look for another job -- just make sure that you don't quit. If they force you out, you can at least collect unemployment while you look for another job.

 

The new boss is being nice to you now because she's afraid you'll quit before she has a chance to settle into her new position. Once she feels more confident and knows what she's doing, she'll feel less committed to you. That's not to say that she doesn't like you, but that she won't depend on you as much as she might right now. Moreover, it seems like they're trying to force you out because of your health, which is illegal, but proving discrimination is difficult. At any rate, it seems like the company is just poorly managed (probably a fairly large company with layers of bureaucracy?). Who needs this? The only way you can escape from that kind of company is to get out altogether.

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Man, that sucks! Tara and Amer have given you great advice, Red. Re-read it over and over, and follow their suggestions.

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if ya hate the job and showing up, quit. you are not doing anybody and good showing up at a job you hate. Bosses that yell just shouldn't be put up with. Go find some new job, or career you like and love showing up to work for. Life got enough downs why make more.

 

And wouldn't it be nice to walk in after lunch look the man in the eye and tell him off, grab your stuff and leave?:D

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Thank you all for your advice, it really makes me feel better and more in control. I went to the Dr's yesterday, I am having anxiety attacks. My oxygen was 100% and I am hyperventalating...it doesn't feel like I have been able to take satisifying breaths for a week now. I know it's due to stress. I am trying to calm down...

 

I really wish I had more a F&uck It ALL attitude so I wouldn't have such physcial symptoms. I am going to re-read everything over and over so I feel better.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Pink Cupcakes

I'm wondering if you don't have a reason to get a lawyer. I feel it is because of your medical condition and missing work that you are getting fired. It sounds like you are doing just fine at your job and are being set up to fail because they don't want someone who has medical issues and they are feeling you might miss more work in the future.

I seriously think you may have a case for unlawful termination.

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