Is he into me?

[Sweetgurl]

I work in one of the fortune 100 companies. I have a boss who is really nice to me all the time. He really cares about me. He has asked me personal questions. He would ask me about my husband all the time.

 

I am not sure if he into me though. He gives me mixed signals. During our X-mas party , he came and sat near me. He was so sweet and tried talking to me only and noone else.

 

He also gave me his gifts and asked me to keep it. It was awkward infront of everyone. He smiles a me at lot and has checked me out several times. Several times, he stared at my boobs and then stared back in my eyes. I got nervous and looked away.

 

I do not have big boobs and I am just a decent looking girl. He is cute and smart. There was big snow storm, we are all working and he send me an email and asked me to go home. Things like that make me wonder if he likes me ? Or maybe it all business( I do not know). But at one time I was talking to one co-workers about my husband and he seemed not to like it and acted indifferent the next day.

 

He is in his late forties and I am only 30. Just yesterday I went thank him for the x-mas gifts and he smiled and said " Is everything ok with you? When he talks to me I can feel the tension , I sense that he wants me , we both cannot do or say anything about it?"

 

I have not been able to sleep and I think of him all the time. It is driving me nuts. How do I get over this ? I should be concentrating on my husband and family. Any advise will be greatly appreciated.

[anne1707]

Maybe he likes you as more than just a colleague, maybe he doesn't. That is not the issue.

 

You are married. You should look to your marriage first. Are you happy? Do you want to be with your husband? Does he love you? Do you love him? Do you see the two of you together in years to come? If you answer yes to these then you know what you have to do. Stay totally professional with your boss, just work and concentrate on your marriage.

 

If the answer to any of those questions is no, can your marriage still be saved? How about MC to deal with any underlying problems you may have. Work on your marriage before you do anything else. If your marriage cannot be saved.... leave your husband. Do not have an affair. That will just make things an even bigger mess than they already are.

 

You are fantasizing about your boss like some lovestruck teenager. Grow up. Take responsibility for the commitment you have made to your husband and deal with that before anything else. So what if your boss stares at your boobs. He's a man, that's what they do.

[steveraves]

All boobs are good boobs!!

 

I can assume he has several people under him, does he show them the same personal interest such as asking them about their family ect., or does he tend to be more business with others?

 

If he takes the same personal interest in others as he does you then I'd say it probably doesn't mean much, but I have a feeling he doesn't.

 

Like the poster above said you need to focus on your family. Getting involved with him in anyway other than business could bring about a lot of unpleasant things for you.

 

1. It could destroy your family (think about your kids)

2. It sounds like you have a good job, if you did get involved with him and it didn't work out that could make things more difficult for you.

 

I think you have everything to lose and not really much of anything to gain.

 

Try not to be alone with him. Try not to discuss personal issues with him, and if personal questions come up either try and avoid them or talk up your husband and kids which should give him the signal you're happily married, and not interested in his advances. Take your husband to business social gatherings and if your husband can't go don't attend.

[Sweetgurl]

Thanks everyone! Some very good advices. Yes he treats me differently than anyone else. ( Always supernice and extra caring, never yells at my mistakes). He is not nice to everybody else though.

 

I thinks he knows that I do not have a great relationship with my husband. ( I have never mentioned anything to anybody at work, but I hardly talk about him, we never go to social together etc)

 

I am not sure if I love my husband anymore. I do not have a great marriage.He does not show any affection to me at all. He says he still finds me attractive and all that but does not seem to care about my feelings. He is very good to my kids though. That's one reason I still think I love him.

 

I need to work on my marriage.At times I think I love him but there are times I feel that I am trapped and I cannot get away from this marriage. Divorce is an option for me at all.

 

Not sure if this is the right forum for marriage issues. Can people be happy after divorce? I do not have friends and family who have had a divorce, so not sure about it. Can not loving be reasons for divorce? It is not that bad but I do not feel connected to my husband at all? We argue about raising my kids. I want to be happy, and it seems like we cannot be happy with each other. My husband says he used to love me ( not sure what that means, says I have changed a lot after marriage etc...) . Sorry, too much to write and say but I am really miserable right now.

[steveraves]

Can people be happy after divorce? I do not have friends and family who have had a divorce, so not sure about it. Can not loving be reasons for divorce? It is not that bad but I do not feel connected to my husband at all? We argue about raising my kids. I want to be happy, and it seems like we cannot be happy with each other. My husband says he used to love me ( not sure what that means, says I have changed a lot after marriage etc...) . Sorry, too much to write and say but I am really miserable right now.

 

I'm currently going through a divorce. I'm sure happiness can be found but it takes time and before you get there you question a lot of things. I don't know how long you've been married, how old kids ect. I'm of the mind no one wins in divorce and that there's only degrees of loss (kids losing the most), others will disagree with me.

 

If you're both willing to do marriage counciling and try to find what you've lost, it's best to do it now before you pass the point of no return.

 

My advice to you though is if that's something you're willing to work at don't give the boss mixed signals, and do your best to keep things as business related as possible.