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Co worker has a bf. Yet what's all this I'm getting from her?


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There's a girl at work that i'm just so curious about. I do like her but she has boyfriend. I was a little hurt by this because I was getting some signals from her and I decided to ask her out. Ofcourse she turned me down by telling me she'd get back to me though she never did. This was about 2 months ago and since then we have moved past it and she has gone back to normal.

 

Since then..there have been various things around work to arouse my curiousity again about her interest and one of them included chatting with another girl in front of her..I tried to include her but she was real quiet and had her nose buried in a magazine..she didn't even respond when I said bye that night. She's normally carries out good conversations with me. Jealousy?

 

It made me want to see if she'd approach me if I didnt approach her..and I am surprised to say that I got my answer today because she did seek me out twice when I didn't show up. For no reason at all..she was just passing by and wanted to talk. She'd say something like "Oh there you are" with a big grin and we'd carry out a conversation.

 

Which brings me to my next observation..she really laughs and smiles a lot around me. Sometimes I don't have to do anything. According to her, I make her laugh so hard that she screws her work up in front of me...and it has happened. It's a good thing right?

 

Last few things I get is she'll always hold a gaze with me if one of us is passing by..and she'd smile too. Sometimes a smirk if we had been joking around earlier. We have conversations that can last very easily about any topic.

 

My question is..I have her on facebook and i've tried sending a few msg's to her..she doesn't really respond and her bf is stopping me from really kicking it up a notch and asking her out one more time. She's mentioned a movie she's wanted to see, a concert she's wanted to go to..but her bf...ya know? Is she into me?

 

I feel like asking her out again but I am so hesitant and negative towards the idea.

 

Am I just that Co worker who's fun to be around or what?

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Lol..it's mainly us two working together in the store..so we get a lot of alone time...just not in a dark corner.

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She may just like the attention she gets from you.

 

She's involved with someone else, and imo you should layoff and respect that. Keep in mind if she cheats on him, you'll always have to wonder when/if she'll cheat on you.

 

Also you may be involving yourself in alot of drama that you don't want to be involved with.

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Am I just that Co worker who's fun to be around or what?

 

If she was into you YOU would be the bf. She is just enjoying the fact she KNOWS you like her and she likes your attention. Keep it on a business level and look elsewhere for love. She is just having fun with you so don't fall for her game.

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To be honest I haven't gone out of my way to do anything since I asked her out few months ago. I have respect for her and her bf. Neither has she but I've gotten a steady case of..

 

Teasing from her..her trying to find me around the store when I haven't been around. When I tease her.. a dirty look but in a playful way, one of those soft high pitch voices girls do when they're trying to be cute and her endless laughter and giggling which I see still happening even after she's walked off to do something else..that's how I know it isn't fake.

 

And what's the deal with her messing up her work around me? Doesn't that fall under the category of nervous and fidgety?

 

So what is all this?

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Sorry to tell you this but it's just flirting. She likes the attention. If she was interested in taking it further you have given her lots of signals back including asking her out. If you still want to pursue it -- I would say *one* thing about wanting to spend time with her if she were ever to find herself without a B/F, then let it drop for good, no matter how much giggling she does.

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I reciprocate whatever she gives me (Teasing, laughing, giggling, talking) but other than that..I haven't overstepped my bounderies but that one time..and even so, we had only really just met and worked 3 or 4 times together before I decided to ask her out. Would she really go out with a guy she just met and risk compromising her relationship with her bf and her image to her friends? It wouldn't be worth it to me if it was me. That's the way I see it..I think I asked her out too early.

 

And even though she realized I liked her when I asked her out..she's still here seeking me out to talk and giggling at everything that I do. If she didn't want anything to do with me..then why is she still instigating?

 

So I'd like to know how you guys arrived to the conclusion that she's flirting for attention..how do you not know if she's flirting for real because she likes me?

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So I'd like to know how you guys arrived to the conclusion that she's flirting for attention..how do you not know if she's flirting for real because she likes me?

 

Because she's with her bf and she turned you down when you asked her out. Also, none of what you listed is a clear cut signal that she likes you and would be open to pursuing things with you.

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Because she's with her bf and she turned you down when you asked her out. Also, none of what you listed is a clear cut signal that she likes you and would be open to pursuing things with you.

It takes a man's man to get to the knob of the matter.

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Dexter Morgan

If she has a boyfriend, and is flirting with you and thinking about crossing the line, then I'd think she isn't anyone you'd care to be with if you had any scruples about you.

 

If I was interested in someone, and they were interested in me, and I found out they have a boyfriend.....my interest level would drop to almost nothing and I'd move on. Otherwise, I'd be interested in a cheater pretty much or someone that is laying the groundwork for cheating.

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I am going to go against the grain and tell you she DOES dig you !

 

But unfortunately for her.. she has a bf. She needs to do the right thing. If that's break up with him to go out with you or just tell you she has a bf and stop the oooozing of playfulness . She does enjoy the fact that you reciprocate....

 

Listen, stop the play by play banter. When she does something. brush her off like pesky fly... IF she TRULY digs you , she won't like it one bit and will move mountains to RIGHTFULLY get the honor of going out with you once she DUMPS her boyfriend.

 

Either way you wont TOUCH her or her heart without her being SINGLE.

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If she has a boyfriend, and is flirting with you and thinking about crossing the line, then I'd think she isn't anyone you'd care to be with if you had any scruples about you.

 

If I was interested in someone, and they were interested in me, and I found out they have a boyfriend.....my interest level would drop to almost nothing and I'd move on. Otherwise, I'd be interested in a cheater pretty much or someone that is laying the groundwork for cheating.

 

Quoted for the truth. Also the cheater might be wrong, but the one who knows she will be cheating is just as wrong. Not taking into consideration the ones who slept with a cheater and didn't know about it.

 

It's just morally wrong. You don't want it to happen to you either.

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Quoted for the truth. Also the cheater might be wrong, but the one who knows she will be cheating is just as wrong. Not taking into consideration the ones who slept with a cheater and didn't know about it.

 

It's just morally wrong. You don't want it to happen to you either.

 

May I say cheating is never right BUT if this girl is interested in the OP and she no longer has feelings for her bf and she BREAKS up with her bf then she is not considered cheating.

 

Its liken to feelings being lost , not certain what to do , something gives you a push to end what you are not happy with and persue something new. I just dont find that part cheating. She may emotionally be attached to OP but the strongest horse knows to stay by the fence until the time comes to leave the field

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I don't think anything you've stated indicates that she's romantically interested in you.

 

The guys I work with tease me and flirt with me all the time- I get thrown into a snowbank 3 times a day by the guys I work with... I often reciprocate- it's all in fun. It doesn't mean anything.

 

This girl has a bf... so that should be the deciding factor here. As long as she is with another dude- she should be off limits.

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Alright I hear what ya'll are saying..

 

But please, give this girl some credit..she has the ability to think. I trust she knows what she wants and that she's capable of making her own decisions. If she loves him she'll stick with him. If she's not feeling it anymore..she's going to allow herself to find somebody else because maybe it just wasn't meant to be. This is what happens all the time out there..that's how relationships are tested but I am not going to manipulate my way into her pants just for nothing. I respect her and her relationship which is why I've stayed within my bounderies So I agree with Mary3.

 

Someone mentioned something about how these were not clearcut signals.

 

Then what are clearcut signals? If you're refering to sex..I really don't think anyone would get that from a self respecting girl unless she was a cheater.

 

She's a coworker of mine and we talk and I am not going to go out of my way and avoid her just because she has a boyfriend. Secondly...if she's starting to do these things even after I asked her out...it means she's enjoying my company.

 

Either that or she's just enjoying the attention..so which one is it?

 

The only way I can find out is by asking her out again..but how can I when she has a boyfriend?

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I always follow - no ring = fair game. However, the pursuit of that has it's consequences.

 

So really the question should be, how big is her BF and does he know Karate?

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Dexter Morgan
May I say cheating is never right BUT if this girl is interested in the OP and she no longer has feelings for her bf and she BREAKS up with her bf then she is not considered cheating.

 

That is true.

 

However, I wouldn't want someone that is always looking to better deal whoever they are with.

 

so if she is into another guy, but still isn't broken up with her boyfriend, thats character in someone I want no part of.

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Dexter Morgan
I always follow - no ring = fair game. However, the pursuit of that has it's consequences.

 

If you aren't married, then remember that if a guy ever tries to get close to your woman.

 

don't be mad....don't blame him...and don't try to tell him she is taken...because without a ring, your woman is fair game for other men.

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To me, in my personal opinion and experiences. When a girl is with her boyfriend, no matter if she's attached to him or not. She's still in a relation, checking out the grass at the other side. You can't wish wash that fact. If she doesn't like the relation she should leave and not have the guy hanging, nor the guy she might be interested in.

 

If she breaks off, then it's not cheating, as is it as of now it will and is cheating, no matter how you look at it. Her boyfriends is in limbo, simple as that.

 

Also, do you honestly think, if she comes on to you, you can resist her? I doubt you can because it's damn hard.

 

I agree with Dexter on pretty much everything. Besides, if she's on the lookout while having this guy, she will defo do the same when she's with you at one point.

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Alright I hear what ya'll are saying..

 

But please, give this girl some credit..she has the ability to think. I trust she knows what she wants and that she's capable of making her own decisions. If she loves him she'll stick with him. If she's not feeling it anymore..she's going to allow herself to find somebody else because maybe it just wasn't meant to be. This is what happens all the time out there..that's how relationships are tested but I am not going to manipulate my way into her pants just for nothing. I respect her and her relationship which is why I've stayed within my bounderies So I agree with Mary3.

 

Someone mentioned something about how these were not clearcut signals.

 

Then what are clearcut signals? If you're refering to sex..I really don't think anyone would get that from a self respecting girl unless she was a cheater.

 

She's a coworker of mine and we talk and I am not going to go out of my way and avoid her just because she has a boyfriend. Secondly...if she's starting to do these things even after I asked her out...it means she's enjoying my company.

 

Either that or she's just enjoying the attention..so which one is it?

 

The only way I can find out is by asking her out again..but how can I when she has a boyfriend?

 

It's funny how some people would rather pay more attention to the one response that's what they want to hear than the several that aren't. :D

 

Clearcut signals would be telling you she likes you, or kissing you, or breaking up with her bf to be with you, or saying yes when you asked her out.

 

Look man, it's obvious that what you want to hear is, "Yeah, she totally digs you! Go for it!" So man up, ask her out, and if you guys do go out and things go well, sit back and see if she breaks up with her bf. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea, and I also think she'll turn you down anyway, but otherwise I don't really see the point of these posts.

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Alright I hear what ya'll are saying..

 

But please, give this girl some credit..she has the ability to think. I trust she knows what she wants and that she's capable of making her own decisions.

correct and if she wanted to be with you then she'd break up with him and go out with you. She's with her bf, so she doesn't want to be with you or she's a cheater and why would you want to be with her.

 

If she loves him she'll stick with him. If she's not feeling it anymore..she's going to allow herself to find somebody else because maybe it just wasn't meant to be. This is what happens all the time out there..

 

also correct, but she doesn't need you interferring in breaking up the relationship. Again if she wants to be with you she'll end the relationship or she's a cheater. She hasn't yet broken it off with her bf, she doesn't want to be with you. She enjoys the flirting and the attention that goes with it. Leave it at that.

 

that's how relationships are tested but I am not going to manipulate my way into her pants just for nothing. I respect her and her relationship which is why I've stayed within my bounderies So I agree with Mary3.

 

Here you say you respect her and that you've stayed within your boundaries. Yet your very last sentence below is "The only way I can find out is by asking her out again." Which leads me to believe asking her out again is something you're contemplating.

 

Someone mentioned something about how these were not clearcut signals.

 

It seems you want to hear that these are clear cut signals. Fine, there clear cut signals.. She has a bf until they breakup it doesn't matter what her signals are. Until she breaks up she's off limits.

 

Then what are clearcut signals? If you're refering to sex..I really don't think anyone would get that from a self respecting girl unless she was a cheater.

 

She's a girl, who knows... lol

 

She's a coworker of mine and we talk and I am not going to go out of my way and avoid her just because she has a boyfriend. Secondly...if she's starting to do these things even after I asked her out...it means she's enjoying my company.

 

Either that or she's just enjoying the attention..so which one is it?

 

Most likely it's both. she likes you (at this point as a friend). She can be a friend and enjoy your company, and still enjoy the attention she's receiving from flirting.

 

The only way I can find out is by asking her out again..but how can I when she has a boyfriend?

 

Ask her out again, but if she says yes and then ends her relationship with her bf because of your interference would you want to be with someone like that? She goes out with you, don't be upset when another guy comes around and takes her from you. By cheating it shows her morals are in question. If she cheats on her bf, be prepared for her to cheat on you.

 

I think the majority of the posters have said she's off limits and that your description isn't a clear cut signal.

 

In someways it seems like you're looking for someone to confirm what you want to believe which is that these are signals and because of that it's ok to ask her out even though she has a bf. Maybe they are signals, maybe they aren't at this point she has a bf so it dosn't matter. If her flirting bothers you then you may consider telling her that while she has a bf the flirting is inappropriate which in someways may make her reconsider her current relationship and if it's what she wants or if she's really happy with it. I see nothing wrong with this as you'd be establishing boundaries for what's appropriate and what's not. If she breaks up with her bf that was her choice and not your interference.

 

I don't mean to sound mean in my response. It's just my opinion at this point, it doesn't matter if it's flirting or not. She has a bf and is off limits which means you shouldn't test her by asking her out again. If she wants to be with you she'll break up with her bf.

 

Who knows maybe the majority will disagree with me. Either way good luck. If it's meant to be it will be.

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To me, in my personal opinion and experiences. When a girl is with her boyfriend, no matter if she's attached to him or not. She's still in a relation, checking out the grass at the other side. You can't wish wash that fact. If she doesn't like the relation she should leave and not have the guy hanging, nor the guy she might be interested in.

 

If she breaks off, then it's not cheating, as is it as of now it will and is cheating, no matter how you look at it. Her boyfriends is in limbo, simple as that.

 

Also, do you honestly think, if she comes on to you, you can resist her? I doubt you can because it's damn hard.

 

I agree with Dexter on pretty much everything. Besides, if she's on the lookout while having this guy, she will defo do the same when she's with you at one point.

 

Yea you're right..people will always be checking out the grass on the other side. It's sad but true and it's natural but it doesn't mean they will leave there SO's for that person.

 

My ex did it to me..guys were hitting on her all the time..but she chose to stick with me. It wasn't until I really started to loose interest and I wasn't giving her much to work with that she allowed herself to meet another guy. She put up with a lot..and was a good gf. So that tells me it happens when things are not so well between two people. She did leave me for that guy.

 

I remember one my close friends..kind of an ex friend now..had a bf..he lived all the way in Europe whilst we were living in Canada. He was unavailable for affection. Over the course of a few months she got real close with me and one night gave me the slip to have sex with her. I had a feeling she may have had a little crush on me but I was shocked when this happened. It's cause her bf was unavailable to her..I turned it down though by not making my move and she hadn't been the same since. This girl didn't leave her bf for me...and probably wouldn't have at all.

 

Two cases to prove my point. That's why I have a hard time taking the boyfriend thing seriously..it depends on her decision ultimately.

 

I haven't asked her out..I haven't done nothing..so far the only moves I've made were coming up here to discuss this.

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Its really hurting my brain to read this situation or story.

There is not enough information to determine if this girl is into you.

Lets forget about the boyfriend for a second, some women put that out there as a blockage.

 

I am very simple minded, yet I always know when a girl is into me, sometimes I don't know, but the majority of times, I am able to figure it out, its those small things that allow you to know if you can have sex with another (ie, that time, when you tried to include her in a conversation with another female)

 

From the sounds of it, it appears as if this girl wants to have sex with you, raw attraction. It does not matter if she has a boyfriend or NOT. That does not matter.

 

My question to you is, have you continued to build upon the friendship relationship? Have you taken her up on the offer to go OUT to see plays? Have you hung out with her AFTER work?

 

If you are spending time with this female, intimate time, on non-working hours, then the answer is YES, she will allow you to have sex with her. Women known within 2 seconds if they will sleep with a man or not.

 

It looks like you are thinking about asking her out, but WHY? You are already IN, your already IN. What I would recommend is you casually ask her to the movies or to some play or make up some random friendship conversation that gets you two together AFTER work.

 

More than likely, if she takes you up on your offer to "hang out" remember, "not a date", she doesn't want to appear like a whore or loose girl, so your "hanging out", either way, if she takes you up on your offer, then HANG OUT. Spend time, eventually you will get closer and closer and it wouldn't matter if she has a BF or not,

 

THE ONLY bad thing about this entire situation is that, IF SHE DOES allow you to spend time, intimate time, (alone-time) boyfriend/girlfriend time, ie going to plays, movies, etc, then if your any kind of man, you'll have sex with her.

 

NOW, the thing is, you don't want this kind of female, not for a girlfriend because sooner or later, she'll do it to you, that train is never later but you can use her as a botty call. Just be sure to place her in the apprioate catagory within your mind as to WHAT TYPE of girl she is.

 

Remember your FRIENDS, friends HANG OUT, so just use that line to her if she tries to say NO.

 

As about the Boyfriend, BE HAPPY, your doing in a favor. Your saving him from a life of whoring girlfriend. He should thank you and one last thing, if you had to ask, if she's INTO you, then she's probably not into you.

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