Jump to content

Recommended Posts

For as long as I can remember, I have always had trouble being on time. It's not just work related, but it does, however, effect work the most. It doesn't matter if it is a pleasurable event or a dreaded one, without fail, I am late. Even when I leave early, I somehow manage to be late. Even if it is something I really want to go to, I've been late. (For example, a B.B. King concert for my birthday this year. How is anyone late for THAT?)

 

I've blamed it on not being a morning person, procrastinating, having no concept of time and being rebellious. Maybe they are all part of it. I know I'm not the only person who is always late in the world. It really bothers people in my life who rely on me to be on time and I can understand why. They don't understand how I can just be late...it's something most people find little patience for because it's something we are all expected to do.

 

Maybe I am giving excuses when I say I really can't help it. But, I can be 30 minutes early to work and stop by a gas station, down the street, and somehow manage to be late because I realize I was in there like 15 minutes. Even when it's happened, I don't understand how it's possible. I have a watch. I don't know how to force myself out of this, but I have to.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we're among the chronologically impaired – time just slips away no matter HOW good your intentions.

 

my best thing has been to set my alarm clock and my watches 15-20 minutes ahead to give me a bit of a cushion. Drives my husband nuts at times, but he understands it's better this way :p

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lookingforward
I think we're among the chronologically impaired – time just slips away no matter HOW good your intentions.

 

my best thing has been to set my alarm clock and my watches 15-20 minutes ahead to give me a bit of a cushion. Drives my husband nuts at times, but he understands it's better this way :p

 

LOL - same - none of the clocks in my life are set to the same time - my alarm is 10 minutes fast, the kitchen clock is 7 minutes fast, my car clock is 4 minutes fast (and I happen to know the timeclock at work is 2 minutes fast :laugh:)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been trying to combat this as well. The only think that helps is changing the time on my clocks occasionally to be a bit ahead. I wish I could get myself out on time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I have done the "set the clocks wrong" thing and it does work... til I figure out how wrong I set them. LOL It's sad, but I think I need a clock fairy to set them randomly wrong all of the time. lol

Link to post
Share on other sites

Self-discipline is the only cure. Keep leaving earlier until you finally get there on time. Stops on the way must be planned ahead or you simply don't do them.

 

If you don't learn to self-discipline, life will eventually do it for you, at a much higher cost.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This is what I have heard about chronically late persons : Its attention seeking behavior and its rude.

 

Not saying your rude but the actions of making others ALWAYS wait is well they say * rude *

 

Another area to examine : Do you think you might have ADD. ?

 

I wondered about a guy I was seeing who was always very late . Someone on here suggested he had ADD , I wrote back here listing the things he did and one reader said : "Hey thats just like my brother , and he DOES have ADD."

 

Not to say all late people have ADD but is it possible you might ?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Wonderlandless

I too have a problem with being late no matter what!

 

It doesn't matter if I leave the house early, if I get up earlier or anything. No matter what I just can't seem to make it anywhere on time. I swear there is a field around me that is warping time; sometimes when I leave the house with ample time to make it where ever I am going...I STILL get there late (and this just blows my mind!)

 

My mother said that I was even late for my own birth. I was supposed to be born on July 10th, she went into labor but I just sorta sat around until the 13th. Haha.

 

I'm probably going to be late to my funeral, too. Oh well.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am always chronically early for everything. My job , doctor appts ( sometimes that one works well , sometimes not ) , dates, airports....

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I'm probably going to be late to my funeral, too. Oh well.

 

I've actually said I wanted to be wheeled out late just because it's so fitting. lol

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
This is what I have heard about chronically late persons : Its attention seeking behavior and its rude.

 

Not saying your rude but the actions of making others ALWAYS wait is well they say * rude *

 

Another area to examine : Do you think you might have ADD. ?

 

I wondered about a guy I was seeing who was always very late . Someone on here suggested he had ADD , I wrote back here listing the things he did and one reader said : "Hey thats just like my brother , and he DOES have ADD."

 

Not to say all late people have ADD but is it possible you might ?

 

You bring up some good points. You're right, it is very rude and eventually I've found that you lose friends, jobs, etc. I can understand why there is little tolerance for it. Everyone is expected to be places on time- so why is it fair for some of us to break the rules and get away with it?

 

It is very possible I have ADD, but I could avoid a lot of the distractions if I were more disciplined. I think it may be a combination of the two.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I made it my Thanksgiving resolution (instead of waiting for New Years) to be on time. It works a lot better and I'm on time or early now instead of being late. It's had gotten to the point where people say, oh, I knew it was you so I'm not on time either.

 

It is rude.

 

I used to say I was just rebelling because I have a parent who always has to be early for everything or the first one there and my x-husband was like that too. I hate being early for the airport, I really dislike being the first one at a party, I just don't like being super early. Early for a play or concert yes.

 

When other people have made the effort out of their lives to be someplace on time and you are expected to be there as well, you owe it to them (especially if you are paying for it - at my tennis place we pay for court time) to be there on time/early.

 

I decided to change because I didn't like the reputation I was getting.

 

(and I have to say ADD to me, is a place where everything gets lumped, oh you are this way, you have add, or you do this, you have add... )

Link to post
Share on other sites

I do think it's rude to be late, but for me it's not attention seeking behavior when I'm late. I get extremely embarrassed and just want to sink under a table or something.

 

For me one problem is that I have trouble waking up - I sleep through alarms like you wouldn't believe. I set 3 alarm clocks, and also the alarm on my cell phone. I don't know if I'm waking up and turning things off without realizing it, or if I just am in such a deep sleep it doesn't wake me up. With setting many alarms I've almost resolved that issue - once in awhile I have a problem, but not too much.

 

The other problem is I just lose track of time. I'll get distracted, or want to do too many things before I go.

 

The solution for me has been to plan to be there 15 minutes early (since I'm usually 15 minutes late). I just think "Oh, I want to get to the party at 6:45 instead of 7" And then in all my getting ready and such I am aiming to leave at whatever time I would to arrive at 6:45...but I'm still usually running late...so that brings me to being right on time. I'm not sure if that makes sense outside of my head, but it works for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35

I am now a chronically on the dot, on time person. When I was in my early to mid 20's, not so much.

 

I had a therapist once tell me that perhaps the reason I was chronically late to some of my obligations was because I didn't really want to be there. I thought she was full of crap, because I was chronically late to my job which I really enjoyed.

 

However, when I thought more deeply about it, I realized that although I loved some aspects of my job, I also used it to improve my self image. What I was rebelling against was the fact that my job should define who I am. Once I faced my true feelings, which I had done a pretty good job of shoving down, I was able to deal with that problem head on.

 

I think there are a lot of reasons for being late, but it will behoove you to find the reasons and to tackle this problem. Obviously you are gathering advice on the topic, which is a good start! Trust me, I am so much happier being on time.

 

I have a friend whose boyfriend is from South Africa. He is always late. Like really late. One time he texted her to say he was running late to see her at her house, surprise. She texted back to him: Are you coming via South Africa? He got his little arse there right quick.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Being chronically late is a way to take passive-aggressive control in a situation where you've agreed to do something but you have doubts. For some people, this is the case all the time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Wonderlandless

Being chronically late is a way to take passive-aggressive control in a situation where you've agreed to do something but you have doubts. For some people, this is the case all the time.

 

What if you're just lazy? :p

Link to post
Share on other sites
Being chronically late is a way to take passive-aggressive control in a situation where you've agreed to do something but you have doubts. For some people, this is the case all the time.

 

What if you're just lazy? :p

That just proves my point. Lazy people have doubts about almost everything.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lookingforward

The psychological version of "why am I ALWAYS late" is that you are unconsciously letting others know that YOU are more important than they are......

 

might be worth considering :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
Being chronically late is a way to take passive-aggressive control in a situation where you've agreed to do something but you have doubts. For some people, this is the case all the time.

 

Bingo.. ST has it right.. it is about control for some..

 

 

I happen to be on time all the time.. 5-10 mins early is typical but I also know that I'm abby normal in this aspect.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lookingforward
Bingo.. ST has it right.. it is about control for some..

 

 

I happen to be on time all the time.. 5-10 mins early is typical but I also know that I'm abby normal in this aspect.

 

does this mean you are aggressive-passive then ? :bunny:

Link to post
Share on other sites
AriaIncognito

My boyfriend has a habit of being late. I dont know if it's ADD or what lol. He's been anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours late. He gets tied up doing things.

 

I've had the conclusion that people that were born late are perpetually late. I dont know why but it seems to be a trend lol.

 

I was born a month and a half early, and I tend to be early to things, except work. LOL. For that I'm always on the same time unless I hit traffic.

 

I really wonder what it's like to have SO MUCH to do that you lose track of time ALL THE TIME. I just dont have that much to do lol.

 

I try not to judge or let it bother me, but when there becomes a point in time where I'm negatively affected, I won't be able to keep putting up with it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There are 3 types of people :

 

Always early

 

Always on time

 

Always late

 

When one do you readers familiarize with with friends and coworkers . Or even yourself ?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Desperado620

I'm always late in the morning. I like sleeping too much, and my bed is too comfy. It takes an alarm clock and my husband to get me out of bed unless I'm really looking forward to something.

 

If I'm late during the day, it's my bad luck. I have the worst luck of anyone I've ever known. I was heading to a job interview one day and was stuck behind a four lane, both way traffic accident. Even though I called the potential employer 20 minutes before interview time, they wouldn't even let me reschedule my interview. Also, I always get stuck behind the slowest driver on the road, with the second slowest driver in the lane next to him.

 

Also, if I'm late it's because I've tried to pack too many activities into too short of a time. There is a physical limit to how much you can get done in an hour, period. I always try to leave early but by the time I'm ready to go I'm already behind.

 

Of course, having anxiety and having to check locks, windows, A/C, pets and coffepot 3 times before leaving doesn't help!

Link to post
Share on other sites
I can be 30 minutes early to work and stop by a gas station, down the street, and somehow manage to be late because I realize I was in there like 15 minutes. Even when it's happened, I don't understand how it's possible. I have a watch. I don't know how to force myself out of this, but I have to.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

The above is the crux of your problem. In thinking that you have plenty of time, you end up being late. You have it in your mind that it would be bad to be extra early. Make a decision to be early, even when you think you have plenty of time. And do not stop anywhere. Go straight to where you are planning to go.

 

I'm curious as to how this is affecting your job. I will fire people over this. It's a huge pet peeve of mine.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...