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i'm attracted to my coworker

princella

By princella,
in Business and Professional Relationships

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princella

princella

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okay here's my situation. i'm attracted to my coworker and i'm pretty sure he is to me. this has gone on for awhile. i'm interested in starting something. you know something that only the two of us would know about. i've never had a secret workplace romance so i don't know how to start one. i don't even know if he wants to do this. i think so but there's some doubt. if he's not interested or if nothing is going to happen, then i don't want to keep thinking about him like this. i wish i could just tell him or have some way of knowing for sure. anyone have any ideas?

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Curmudgeon

Curmudgeon

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My idea is that it's not a good idea to fish in the company pond. It's asking for trouble and can be a career-buster.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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If you are single and he is single, and are just co-workers (no boss/employee -management) then it is possible. Stay away from eachother at work though, and keep it quiet until you two are comfortable and well into the relationship. BUT, with that being said, you are taking a chance on it affecting your career if it doesn't work out...I guess too, it all depends on the cirumstances, how closely you work with eachother. Just hope this guy isn't your boss or in management.

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Fettman

Fettman

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i would think it would also matter where ya'll work. if its like a business company style, or if you guys work at a retail store like target, walmart, best buy, etc.

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stillafool

stillafool

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My advice would be to just let it go and find someone you don't work with to have a relationship. You are asking for trouble getting involved with a co-worker. I have seen this type of relationship go wrong too many times.

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erika2610

erika2610

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My advice would be to just let it go and find someone you don't work with to have a relationship. You are asking for trouble getting involved with a co-worker. I have seen this type of relationship go wrong too many times.

 

 

I don't know. To me, it just depends on the people. My parents met at work, and they've been disgustingly happy for going on 11 years now. :p

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justice

justice

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okay here's my situation. i'm attracted to my coworker and i'm pretty sure he is to me. this has gone on for awhile. i'm interested in starting something. you know something that only the two of us would know about. i've never had a secret workplace romance so i don't know how to start one. i don't even know if he wants to do this. i think so but there's some doubt. if he's not interested or if nothing is going to happen, then i don't want to keep thinking about him like this. i wish i could just tell him or have some way of knowing for sure. anyone have any ideas?

 

Are either one of you married? If so you should walk away now. The OW that my exh was seeing was a coworker. He threw her under the bus when it was found out that they were involved, she got fired and he got just a slap on the wrist. Her whole entire life got ruined when it came out, not only professionally but personally as well. I'd think twice about it before proceeding because it's a bit different when you work with the person, and that's single or married.

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dominic

dominic

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Been there, done that, so I can talk by experience :D

 

First thing: if any of you is married/engaged/whatever, just back off, now. End of discussion.

 

Second: there is not such thing as a secret romance; give it two weeks and everybody will start noticing things. It's a fact. I know as I have been on both sides (noticing and noticed).

 

If both of you are single, as it was my case, it's actually pretty simple:

1) make sure there is no company policy against co worker relationships (actually I didn't check, but luckily there was none)

2) ask him out, as simple as that :)

 

In my case it turned out very well and one year later we married (and most of office people where invited to the wedding); instead of seeing my wife just at night, I could really share my life with her, everyday. Some people can handle it, some can't stand the constant pressure of having the partner close by.

 

As for the pros:

1) you get to know really well the other person

2) you can keep an eye on them (my wife basically turned away two other co workers that tried to be... "too" friendly with me =P)

 

cons:

1) it *really* requires a great deal of maturity on both sides; there will be fights some days, you can count on that. Will both of you be able to properly work anyway? What if you have to work together on a project and you are reaaally disgusted with each other? It can definitely be hard. We worked like 6 feet apart, so running away was not really an option

2) you have to understand that a couple is the union of two persons, and not a single entity; that being said it worked perfectly for us to have splitted Sunday afternoon: she'd visit her friends, and I'd do the same with my buddies. Even in a relationship/marriage, everybody needs his/her own private space.

 

Bottom line: don't let your relationship affect your work and vice versa; and trust me, work *can* affect the relationship (i.e. one gets a promotion and the other doesn't, thus is feeling envious, etc...).

 

Anyway, good luck! It certainly worked for us, but again, it's not for everybody.

 

Cheers

 

PS: btw, when both of you get awarded employees of the year, you reaaaally feel you are a kick-a$$ couple! :love:

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