Jump to content

How do you treat/act around someone you're not into?


Recommended Posts

SixthSt.Girl

We were having a training day at work which is sorta an orientation for the 3 new people, and a refresher for the rest of us. I walk into the breakroom to get coffee beforehand, and 3 new ppl are sitting there talking. I was not into meeting new ppl - I was sick, it was a Friday. I don't know why anyone had to come except new people since we learned nothing new to us that day whatsoever. It was good to meet the new faces, but then we had to go through the whole orientation stuff with them. Anyway, I'm going to the breakroom. This guy goes "HI!," and a I give a half-hearted hi and walk on. Then when I go to the meeting room, he follows me and sits beside me. Our boss points out everyone, and nuguy says hi my name is Jeff to me and puts out his hand to shake. I can just tell from his expression that he's into me and wanting to get to know me and all that. He doesn't intro himself to the other ppl around him, or give them any feedback even when they're actually making an effort to get to know him, lol. I only like black men for one thing (which is rarely anticipated since I'm white), and this guy is kind of creepy looking/acting. I say "nice to meet you" but try not to be too friendly about it.

 

Later during a break, nuguy, me, and Gary (fellow employee) are in the breakroom. Greg is a good looking black dude (but married).

I chummed it up with him about a shelving project we'd been working on thinking maybe nuguy would get the point that I wasn't into him, but Gary is the type I like physically. Gary and I are just pals, but I think he got what I was going for. Nuguy starts trying to get into the conversation, basically cutting Gary off. I ignore nuguy and walk off with Gary. I really don't want to be rude to anyone, but in the past, I've given guys the wrong idea by being friendly. This guy later is trying to see what I'm doing while I'm checking my email b4 training starts up again - I can see him staring at my computer screen. How do you be cordial and send the message that hey, I'm not open for it. I won't be working the same shift as nuguy at all and prolly won't see him much. I still want to be polite since he's a co-worker, and I have a rep for being sort of quiet and aloof at work which I'm trying to change since as library workers, our job involves people contact. But sometimes I just don't care. I thought nuguy was rude by getting into a personal conversation about our project. I'm just not very good when it comes to socializing stuff, I guess. I wouldn't say I'm a people person to begin with, but I'm pretty nice. It just gets on my nerves that I seem to attract a lot of guys, but I don't attract the type that I'm after. I think it's because I'm back to living in my hometown which doesn't have a lot of diversity, very unlike the urban area where I used to live. What do you do in situations like these when it's a professional relationship, and you want to be nice but professional, and don't want to give the wrong idea?

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...