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New Boss.....what do you make of this?


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Hi everyone.

 

A few weeks ago, I posted "starting new job and terrified" or something to that extent. Well, I haven't started yet, but just met with the CEO yesterday, and have to say....i'm not so sure I want this job afterall.

 

So i've had about 3 interviews with the director of sales (my dept.) and client services director (not my dept.) and the whole team of sales and service. Yesterday i had my final interview with the CEO who was SO UNLIKE all the other people I met that I'm not so sure I want to work there anymore. Everyone else was very friendly, fairly laid back, but gets work done, and they all felt good to be around. Then, I meet CEO who is like Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada...totally disrespecting me by keeping busy while interviewing me....like playing with the blinds, watering plants....belittling me, asks me why my voice tone swoops upward at the end of my sentences....says I sound un-confident, stares blankly at me after everthing I say leaving an uncomfortable silence. The deal is, this woman is new herself, having only been there 4 months. She was hired to basically give this "historical center" a facelift and claims this will be the biggest thing to happen in San Francisco this decade, and that this could turn out to be a half a billion dollar deal. I dont know if she was trying to scare me with her belittling, and if so, why? To weed out the thin skinned? But my boyfriend thinks she sounds interesting and that if I get on her good side, there could be a lot of opportunity for me. To me it sounds like I have to kiss the A** of a woman who treats me like crap. And I don't like to play that game. Anyway....just wondering feedback from anyone who might have something to share. She sounds like a tough woman, who expects a lot out of me. I'm really scared and not sure what to do?

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It totally depends on how up for a challenge you are. I've worked with some very tricky people in the past. If you approach it as a learning experience rather than as a nightmare you just have to get through, it could leave you with some very valuable skills. That's the potential upside. The risk is that if the person is difficult to the extent that they fit the mould of thoroughly untrustworthy psycho-boss, then it could be a harmful experience for you.

 

The fact that this woman is rude and abrasive doesn't necessarily mean she'll be a horrifically abusive/untrustworthy boss....but the chances are higher that she will, in some ways, be persecutory. You need to take care to avoid falling into the victim trap around someone like that. If you take the job, you might have to work extremely hard to maintain your poise and your status as a competent adult in the face of what might well be very blatant efforts to intimidate, unbalance and humiliate you. If you succeed, it'll be an extremely valuable and strengthening experience for you. If you fail, it could scar you quite badly.

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Sounds like a game of good cop, bad cop. She'll keep raising the bar, every single time you meet it. A challenge extraordinaire.

 

What I've found works effectively with someone like this is to always treat her in a respectful manner but don't be afraid to state your mind, IF you're right and you'd better be right. Do your homework first and don't expect any encouragement or validation from her. If she provides anything to you, it will be via monetary return.

 

Never get angry or defensive. Always keep your cool, in a professional manner. After awhile of getting to know her, you can probably inject a little ironic humour, depending if she has a sense of humour or not.

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Hi,

 

She sounds like a tough woman, who expects a lot out of me. I'm really scared and not sure what to do?

 

How many times are you going to be dealing with the CEO anyway?

 

What do you care.

 

Be glad if she wants to hire you, because it sounds like she wasn't too impressed.

 

Ariadne

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This is a woman thay may have to do many interviews while doing an important job. You are one of the many. I don't see that watering her plants or doing whatever she has to do plus doing a simple thing for her as interviewing you is disrespecful.

 

From your description I don't see that she's treating you like crap. I think you are young and unexperienced and a little sensitive. You should know your position (which is the one who needs a job), and her position which is the one who has the power to hire you and to behave the way she feels like. So behave normal, not overly polite or scared.

 

About your voice, maybe she has a reason, cause I can tell you that some people have some annoying voices and tones that you wonder why they talk like that. If there was some annoying silence, well the silence was there for her too and she obviously didn't feel any annoyance.

 

I think you should be a little tougher if you want to have an interesting job. This is not a friend or a lover, it's the boss, so you're going to be doing things that she wants you to do and you will be told how to do things too.

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