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Having trouble adjusting to my new job.


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I have worked at this place for over 6 years. At the beginning of September, I got promoted. It was basically mandatory, you're moving to another position, your old position isn't going to be filled. I am pleased to get promoted, but the job they created for me is one I feel really underqualified for. It involves using programs I don't know, light programming (I don't know any programming languages), and they want to make me an administrator for some application software that I used in my old job...I just USED it. I know nothing about what's under the covers.

 

The person whose place I'm taking was also moved, and he is none too happy. I think he would not be displeased to see us fail. My new boss told me that she hired me because she can afford to train people; my old boss and I both made sure she knew what I do and don't know. She gave me a mentor. My mentor and I are both learning this new program we're managing. To make matters worse, the person whose place I'm taking has gone on a 2 week vacation and we're having all kinds of problems without him.

 

The person who is my mentor gets frustrated with me. I understand why and I don't take it personally, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I think he would rather try to figure out things by himself than involve me often, so I find myself going to his office to see what he's doing and getting myself involved. I'm not totally useless, because having used the software before, I do know a few things about it. I don't really think he likes me, because he's not very friendly. Before we were on the same team, we were strangers but fairly friendly. Now, he's not always unfriendly, but not very welcoming when I try to get involved in work, I just get the feeling that I rub him the wrong way.

 

I'm not the most outgoing person and I can be nervous. Especially when I'm already getting vibes that I'm annoying someone, I tend to get inarticulate. I know those things annoy some people. I also had my life arranged around my old job, and I had no idea I was going to be moved. I had taken on 10 hours of class because I'm trying to wrap up my degree, and my husband and I had just decided to have a baby. I got pregnant almost exactly the same time that I started this new job. That's about the only thing going really good for me right now. I've had to drop some of my classes because I'm just feeling too overwhelmed. The stress is absolutely killing me. I feel not only confused, frustrated at work, I also feel like I'm only in the way, and I feel resentful toward my superiors for pulling the rug out from under me. It has set me back in school and now it's stressing me out.

 

I need some advice, if anyone has any. Somebody has been in a situation like this before, yes? I don't know what to do.

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You said that the mentor was learning the program along with you, which is strange as a true mentor teaches you. I know that if I was to mentor someone, I would want to know the program front to back, inside and out. Nothing is as awkward as not being able to answer a question when you are the mentor.

 

I am wondering if he is uncomfortable learning the program like you and is uncomfortable about being a mentor. Could his frustration not be with you but with the program he is learning? Maybe he is not friendly because he feels as overwhelmed as you do.

 

Six years is a long time to work somewhere....who can you talk to in the company about what is going on?

 

You have to de-escalate the stress....it is not good...which you know I am sure.

 

Good luck!

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Believe me, I know it is strange. It is really supposed to be me, my mentor (he has been a systems analyst for about 20 years, and is supposed to catch on faster, that is why he is the mentor) and the person I'm replacing, who does know the program, all working together. The person I am replacing is real testy, and one day I thanked him for being patient with me and he said Oh, it's not you - it's the rest of them! It is hard trying to adjust and get to know people when there feels like so much hostility.

 

I work at a university so I know my stress levels are probably nothing compared to busy companies in the real world...this is about all I know though.

 

Maybe in trying to show I am not afraid to get involved, I'm being invasive? I kind of feel that way, but I also feel they'd be upset if I was isolated in my office all day. Maybe it would be better to let him work things out on his own, then come to me? It's just that usually I'm too meek. Maybe to him I'm overcompensating.

 

The other thing is that my new team has way more going other than this program they just acquired. My boss wants me to "get my feet wet" with this though before I learn anything else. My days are a mixture of extreme boredom, because we have times when nothing's going wrong, and extreme anxiety because the rest of the time I feel stupid.

 

If I decided to move along, when would be too soon? We're doing a huuuuge upgrade Thanxgiving weekend. Should I wait until after the holidays and see? I won't leave the university, but there are a lot more departments than mine.

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Maybe in trying to show I am not afraid to get involved, I'm being invasive? I kind of feel that way, but I also feel they'd be upset if I was isolated in my office all day. Maybe it would be better to let him work things out on his own, then come to me? It's just that usually I'm too meek. Maybe to him I'm overcompensating.

 

The other thing is that my new team has way more going other than this program they just acquired. My boss wants me to "get my feet wet" with this though before I learn anything else. My days are a mixture of extreme boredom, because we have times when nothing's going wrong, and extreme anxiety because the rest of the time I feel stupid.

 

If I decided to move along, when would be too soon? We're doing a huuuuge upgrade Thanxgiving weekend. Should I wait until after the holidays and see? I won't leave the university, but there are a lot more departments than mine.

 

Maybe you could just ask your mentor how he wants you to approach the learning? You could laugh and say--I am throwing myself on your mercy how do you want to proceed?

 

It sounds like your boss has a time table on this if you have to get your feet wet before you can move on. Can you talk to your boss about how you feel, that you are not feeling confident?

 

When are you taking your maternity leave? Maybe you could tough it out until then, and when you come back work in another department.

 

Another thing to consider is hormones. I remember misunderstanding people and their motives when I was pregnant. :)

 

You have to have some friends where you work--what are their thoughts on this?

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Thanks for taking the time to help, Kasan, by the way. I literally just found out we are pregnant -less than 2 weeks ago. I won't need to leave until June. I think I may shoot for that. It won't kill me and if I stay almost a year it won't look like I got scared away...even though I kind of am!

 

As for my mentor, it's been working out pretty well with me emailing him and saying "When do you want to get together and work on this," and then later he'll send me a reply. This week has just been so uneventful, and yet we are on a time schedule so there's pressure. I keep going back and forth with tech support and we have to wait days on them sometimes before we can continue our work. The mentor also just quit smoking. Anyway, it feels good to vent ...I will try to chill.

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You have to have some friends where you work--what are their thoughts on this?

 

 

My friends say, oh don't let anyone bother you, he (the person I'm replacing) is just defensive because he's territorial, and everyone is busy, and don't ever doubt yourself and blah blah.

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