How to approach new people at a work party?

[plpam]

I haven't been out a lot and I think I even have forgotten how to approach people and start up a conversation! I'm going to a few important work-related parties next week and I'd like to network, basically to strike up a few conversations. What do I say first? How do I start? I can't be just waiting for someone to come up to me and start talking!Some things to point out, I don't want to be mistaken for someone who is flirting or wanting to go out with men, yet I want to come across friendly. What should an attractive ( lol!) woman say first to a strange man (business related or not) not to be mistaken for someone I'm not?

[Green]

Just start talking and being friendly with every one you meet to get you back in the habit, whether it be the cashier or some one in line at the movies what ever. At your business dinners talk to people about stuff they like doing try to have fun open ended conversations, be confident about being who you are. It should be obviouse if some guy starts flirting with you and you can just give signs of disinterest if it bothers you like the things you normaly do when guys hit on u, I mean if your so attractive your either a total slutt by now or uve learned to say no

[plpam]

Thanks KMT. And LOL for the last line!

 

It's not a dinner I'm going to, more like an after-party at a cafe where they'll serve appetizers and people will mingle around. I know how to keep conversation running, but how do I initiate it, what do I say first if I want to meet the person and be the first to come up introduce myself? I was thinking it shouldn't be something work-related at first, but also not what most people say to break the ice (which is I don't even know what they say!!). Could you please give me a few examples, be a little more specific

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

PLPAM, I have had similar problems in the past. I'm naturally shy so presentations or networking are my inner nightmare. I've done a lot of training and the basics of what I've learnt are:

 

• People tend to be in the same boat as yourself - they want to be talking to someone, to be networking. Remember that, and it gives you initial confidence.
  
• I start with something like "Wow, the drinks in here are great!" or something about the immediate surroundings, then launch into "Are you from the finance department? Ive heard its extra busy in there..."
  
• Dont stay with them too long - this stops people thinking you're singling them out. Involve someone else in the conversation or begin a conversation with someone else - this also stops it looking flirty
  
• The secret weapon to all of this? Ask an open ended question and then LISTEN. Listening is your secret weapon - people love to talk about themselves and listening gives them a chance

It will be fine, initiating coversation just takes practice - I still HATE doing it inside, but on the outside? You'd think I was having a ball.

[plpam]

Thanks Je Ne Regrette Rien (there was a beautiful song with named like this by Edith Piaf, have you heard it? ) These are great suggestions I can use.

[Magnatolia]

Is this event just a bunch of coworkers getting together 'outside' of work, or is it more designed for people to find out about their coworkers.

 

I think the best way to start is to ask what department they work in. Then try and find something to talk about that relates to their area. Say for example, end of month has just finished and the person works in finance. You can empathise with them on how hectic end of month would have been for them.

 

Some topics are:

 

Food - find out what they're eating, ask them what it's like. Talk about how great the food is. Maybe you've been there before, and the food was great. Talk about how great the food was back then.

 

Weekend - Is it Friday after work? Ask what they have planned for the weekend. Find out about local events, they might be going to one of them. Nothing worse than a person getting excited when they tell you they're going to a concert and you're like 'oh right, I didn't know that was on.'

 

Drinks - Obvious one.

 

Big question. What is your networking goal? Why exactly do you want to network with these people? Is it for acquaintances? Or to find people who you can call if you are stuck on something?

 

I work for a large organisation as a relief staff. Basically I fill in jobs for a month or so. Over the years I've met lots of people and I know that if I'm stuck on something I can give one of them a call.

 

Best thing to do is listen. Not just to their words but also their vibe and attitude. Some people don't like to talk work outside of it, others don't like to mix personal life with their work life.

 

Let us know how the first one goes for you.

[Trialbyfire]

Watercooler topics are usually good, especially the funny ones. If you can get someone who wants to play, quip with them and get the rest laughing.

[Green]

u should talk about sex people love that