My boss, the bully

[Vintage106]

If you have read some of the posts that I have left other people, you should know how much I dislike my job. In fact, I HATE it. I work for a realty agency in the marketing department in a VERY small office. I have problems with coworkers, rude agents and I especially have problems with my boss. She is definitely what you would call a bully.

 

 

She behaves abusively by making sarcastic jokes to us and about us to other people. She rudely interrupts when we try to talk to her or when we try to ask a question, she goes "What do you want?" She criticizes us ALL the time, gives us the dirtiest looks. She ALWAYS ignores me and the girl that sits next to me as if we were invisible. I sit right next to the door, so she walks right past me everyday. And every single day I go, "Good morning!" to try to break the ice and she just looks at me and walks right past me, to her desk and says hello how are you to her assistant(who is always up her ass!).

 

One time, the girl that sit next to me's youngest son fell very ill and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. Everyone was sending them get well soon cards and visiting and calling to see how he was. Our boss didn't ask how her son was even once when she finally came back to work. She didn't call, didn't visit, didn't even sign the cards! So she had enough of it. She sat our boss down and told her about how she thinks she is rude to us and how she never ever talks to us unless she needs something. What did our boss say?

 

"I shouldn't feel like I HAVE to talk to you!" I just think she is so rude and heartless. I mean, she doesn't have to have a whole convo with us or be our friend, but a simple hello how are you would be nice once in a while. Know what I mean? A good relationship with your employees means more/better productivity, right?

 

And I would like to report her, but I can't. For some reason, the owner of the company is up her ass, too! She is so fake! She gets on everyone's good side, but no one sees how she REALLY is except for the very few people that work in her office. I am just so sick of it. And jobs in my field around here are 1 in a million, so it's not like I can just quit. I mean, I'm getting paid horribly, but still. I've got bills to pay.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can deal with this? I am at my wits end! I DREAD going into work everyday! I'm almost in tears by the time I get to work.

[quankanne]

ugh, I feel for you – in my first job I worked for a passive-aggressive anal pore of an editor who had a Napolean complex. And I quit my job because of him after putting up with him for a year, I just wasn't happy with what I was doing anymore, and I loved my job.

 

maybe the best thing to do is just ignore her, the same way you would any other jerk. Be courteous, kill her with kindness when you need to, but otherwise, ignore her. Because she's not worth the mental effort generated when you worry or get upset about how she is towards others. At some point, someone higher up that her is going to get wind of her crappy attitude and something's going to change.

[amerikajin]

Your boss has poor social skills (which is a nice way of saying she's a b*tch).

 

As for your co-workers, you have to understand that they're affected by the mood of your boss just as you are. The personality of the company is always going to be reflective of the personality of those who manage it - they set the tone. If she's in a bad mood, others are going to be pretty fouled up as well. Moreover, the good real estate agents probably know her reputation and choose to work in a more professional environment. So now she's left with employees who are probably not going to be hired by those other companies and decide to settle for working in an environment they don't like. Bad management + bad employees = workplace hell.

 

Get out and find other work as soon as you can. Nothing's going to change anytime soon.

[Windwalker]

Let her be who she is and don't give her the power to ruin your day.

 

Play on LS, stay busy, and keep your resume up to date.

[Vintage106]

Let her be who she is and don't give her the power to ruin your day.

 

Play on LS, stay busy, and keep your resume up to date.

 

 

I have definitely been doing all of that!

[Citizen Erased]

"I shouldn't feel like I HAVE to talk to you!"

 

You just know this woman isn't getting laid

 

I think everyone has experiences like this with their boss/supervisors/co-workers etc. Which is why quite alot of businesses have huge turnover rates because of their mistreatment. My last job I was at for about 10 months and by the time I finished, there was me and 3 other people left from when I started, out of 30 people

 

Unless this is your dream job, you have the right to find another job where you don't have to put up with this environment. You deserve to have a happy life and you will be wasting it dealing with petty people like this uptight cow.

[Vintage106]

You just know this woman isn't getting laid

 

I think everyone has experiences like this with their boss/supervisors/co-workers etc. Which is why quite alot of businesses have huge turnover rates because of their mistreatment. My last job I was at for about 10 months and by the time I finished, there was me and 3 other people left from when I started, out of 30 people

 

Unless this is your dream job, you have the right to find another job where you don't have to put up with this environment. You deserve to have a happy life and you will be wasting it dealing with petty people like this uptight cow.

 

LOL! I have no idea about the laid thing. Gross! She's married, but that doesn't mean anything. lol. I do know that she is bipolar, though. She takes meds for it.

 

This is DEFINITELY not my dream job. It's just my first "real" job after college. I have been searching and searching for a new job, but nothing has come up. Let's just hope that the next place I get hired on to will be different and the employees don't get abused like we do.

[doiask42much]

My first job out of college, I had a very mean boss who would yell at me, hang up on me, let doors go in my face, tell me I was a bad communicator, and that I was unliked by others in the office (but he "defended" me by saying I was a good copy editor and it wasn't a popularity contest). He told me off for failing to sufficiently compliment his amateur nude photography (of a girl, not himself), he insinuated that I would not get a raise come review time because I refused to let him look at my teeth for him to verify whether I needed to go to the dentist. In short, he was a freak.

 

How your boss is acting says more about her own miserable existence than anything about you. Vent to your sympathetic peers, try to minimize your interaction with her (e-mail is a good way to communicate when you have to), and keep your eyes and ears open for new jobs. How long have you been with the company? I figure you are toughing it out for now because you don't to leave after a short stint. I get the impression you're young and just starting out in your career? The good part about that is you don't have much to lose and it's easier to find something at the same level or better. Good luck!

[Vintage106]

How your boss is acting says more about her own miserable existence than anything about you. Vent to your sympathetic peers, try to minimize your interaction with her (e-mail is a good way to communicate when you have to), and keep your eyes and ears open for new jobs. How long have you been with the company? I figure you are toughing it out for now because you don't to leave after a short stint. I get the impression you're young and just starting out in your career? The good part about that is you don't have much to lose and it's easier to find something at the same level or better. Good luck!

 

I've been with the company for a little over a year and a half. And it started from day 1. I am 22, I am THE youngest person in the company. I do have things I could lose, like my apartment and my car. My fiance and I can't afford anything just by his income alone. But I am looking for a job right now, so hopefully I will find something!

[blind_otter]

You could always purposely get fired and collect unemployment. I mean, do you really think you're going to get a good recommendation out of that witch? I think not.

 

anyways, I had a toxic boss and got fired from the position and colelcted unemploymnet as long as I could just to burn them. I hope their FUTA taxes went through the roof. At my current job I ran into a lady who I used to work with. She confided in me that they had never been able to keep anyone at my old position and they were hoping the current one would stay. I said, "Good luck, I hope the new PA has a really thick skin."

 

It really amazes me how many people who have a little bit of power get all uppity about everything and transform into witches and jerks. Such is life, I suppose. I now fully expect all people who get any amount of power to be rude and obnoxious. 90% of the time, I'm never surprised.

[fly_gurl]

The best thing for you to do would be to look around for another job, if it gets to depressing for you to handle.

 

If you really can't quite your job, then look at like this honey. You are human and so is she. She has a life outside of work, and maybe she is not satisfied with her own. Now, that shouldn't give her a reason to treat her employees like utter crap, but maybe she can't help it? Some people take their aggression out on the wrong people. Obviously, she doesn't just bother you, but most of your coworker, so from that, you know it's not personal. Since we know it's not personal, she's just unhappy.

 

Unhappy people do act bitter, and angry towards the world. She probably can't help it. I bet she doesn't even know how she's acting, because she's been doing for so long. The best thing you could do is maybe try to cheer her up. Instead of looking down on her, even though it can be tough, try to become her friend. Be the bigger person. All along, that may just be all she needs, a friend. Everyone needs someone.

 

Just be nice, don't suck up, but be nice and you will see some light!

 

Love, Peace, Love:love:

[lindya]

She ALWAYS ignores me and the girl that sits next to me as if we were invisible. I sit right next to the door, so she walks right past me everyday. And every single day I go, "Good morning!" to try to break the ice and she just looks at me and walks right past me, to her desk and says hello how are you to her assistant(who is always up her ass!).

 

 

You don't need to make a tit of yourself by saying Good Morning to this woman every day when you know fine well she's just going to blank you. That's like going into school and walking past a group of bullies every day wearing a "Kick Me!" sign. If she's decided she doesn't like you, let her get on with not liking you and definitely don't go out of your way to be pleasant to her.

 

If you go for another job and they ask you about a reference, you can just explain in a caring, concerned tone that unfortunately the person who would best qualified to provide you with a reference isn't currently able to provide you with one. Believe me, that's enough to create a vague sense of her being a "problem employee" which will reduce her credibility as a referee. Then you can ask whether a reference from another senior colleague from that organisation would suffice - and give the name of someone you actually get on well with.

 

If they're fairly low down on the ladder you can always be creative about the amount of responsibility they hold within the company. For instance, the Mail-man can suddenly be transformed into "Communications Manager" - and will probably be happy to put his signature below the reference you wrote for yourself.

[huh]

I'm with the look for a new job camp. When you've got a bunch of dysfunctional types and/or enablers in management, it's best to cut your losses and find another job. I worked with a psychopath who would scream like a banshee & slam things around if she found someone else's printout in the printer. Or if someone saw hers & didn't bring it to her. Of course, if you brought it to her, she'd glare at you and not take it. But when you put it down by her, would move it to make it clear you put it in the "wrong" place. Screaming, slamming were common and she once stood in the doorway of my office blocking it and cursing at me because I'd inadvertently put a piece of paper intended for her officemate on her chair. She'd done the same with me and I'd just put it on my roomie's chair. Crazy, psycho biatch was tolerated by management for whatever reason. She was accompanied by 2 pot stirrers who liked to talk about everyone else's shortcomings behind their backs, as opposed to talking directly to the employees involved (one pot stirrer was the manager of the dept. The other & psycho chickie were the 2 senior staff people in charge when the manager was out). The management above them was content with this and didn't do anything to change it.

 

I was there for nearly 4 year, the last 2 being the worst of it. I finally changed jobs and how wonderful it is to work with decent, normal human beings. The stress level is a lot less and my lifestyle is much healthier, not to mention I'm a lot happier. My only regret in leaving the hellhole is that I didn't do it sooner.

[Sweet Chestnut]

I think you should just ignore her royaly and never talk to her at all unless you are explicitly ask for and must do so.

Just do your job and do not pay attention at all about her.

She is a type who crave attention and need it like air, without it she will die, she will cry, and go into depression, therefor the wagon of ass licker behind her. She create it with her dispicable personality because she need it, and those type need that kind of horrefull person, like to be dominated and feeling they are needed by the queen bitch.

I have seen some of those types also on the internet, Thats florish, in need of power, not just status, but of showing off and humiliating others, and being mean to others.

What she does as backstabing employees and making gossips is stricly forbidden for a person of her status in any firms.

She has to show the exemple and her attitude show that she isnt up to her role and cant assume a job as leader.

Comfort in that.

If all you cna get in your branch is that type of job with a lousy salary, then time to switch interest and branch... you are 22 theres still time to change your mind.

In themean time the rent got to be paid, and go to your work place for that and dont give a damn about the rest. Just look at it from up, and laugh at th whole situation. This woman got nothing in her life but doing that kind of **** in her job that she dont have to and that you dont have to pull up with. Ignore her, dont ccare, really indside you do not care, do not let her take anymore palce in your inner world, and throw her waway from you. She is eating you from the inside because you let yourself being to affected by it.

Stop. Dont expect any change in her attitude. Ignore all this, do your job, dont ever look at her when she passes by, dont say hello, nothing, not even at christmas dont say merry christmas, dont ever say a word that isnt strictly work related. But be very close to those you work with around you. This way her influence on you will vanish completely.

The truth is that she is dead scared of being ignored, therefore she ignore, dead scared of being disliked therefore she dislike others, and dead scared of gossips about her, therfore she makes gossips on others and dont answer you out of fear that you might have said bad things about her. She also id dead unsure about herself therefor sshe need a court to courtship her and worship her constantly to reassure her in what she wants to beleive into, that she is the best or worth living.

 

 

NB: I never heard that one had to take meds to treat bipolar tendencies nor that it had to be treated nor that it could be cured. Do they have an analog cure for homosexual and heterosexual? So we could be all sex cured...

I mean if she is attracted to women, she is and thats it.

Could be too what is at play here, she is fighting her urge to kiss you..lol! and has to confirm her close assistent that she is still the one in..

You cna never know, but looks like this too has a play in it.

The meds ccant make it better either.. must affect the neurological and hormonal part. Thats never good.

Try to dress super sexy and ignore her royaly at the same time and see what happen..

You cant change her, have fun with it.

[Lean On Me]

If you have read some of the posts that I have left other people, you should know how much I dislike my job. In fact, I HATE it. I work for a realty agency in the marketing department in a VERY small office. I have problems with coworkers, rude agents and I especially have problems with my boss. She is definitely what you would call a bully.

 

 

She behaves abusively by making sarcastic jokes to us and about us to other people. She rudely interrupts when we try to talk to her or when we try to ask a question, she goes "What do you want?" She criticizes us ALL the time, gives us the dirtiest looks. She ALWAYS ignores me and the girl that sits next to me as if we were invisible. I sit right next to the door, so she walks right past me everyday. And every single day I go, "Good morning!" to try to break the ice and she just looks at me and walks right past me, to her desk and says hello how are you to her assistant(who is always up her ass!).

 

One time, the girl that sit next to me's youngest son fell very ill and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. Everyone was sending them get well soon cards and visiting and calling to see how he was. Our boss didn't ask how her son was even once when she finally came back to work. She didn't call, didn't visit, didn't even sign the cards! So she had enough of it. She sat our boss down and told her about how she thinks she is rude to us and how she never ever talks to us unless she needs something. What did our boss say?

 

"I shouldn't feel like I HAVE to talk to you!" I just think she is so rude and heartless. I mean, she doesn't have to have a whole convo with us or be our friend, but a simple hello how are you would be nice once in a while. Know what I mean? A good relationship with your employees means more/better productivity, right?

 

And I would like to report her, but I can't. For some reason, the owner of the company is up her ass, too! She is so fake! She gets on everyone's good side, but no one sees how she REALLY is except for the very few people that work in her office. I am just so sick of it. And jobs in my field around here are 1 in a million, so it's not like I can just quit. I mean, I'm getting paid horribly, but still. I've got bills to pay.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can deal with this? I am at my wits end! I DREAD going into work everyday! I'm almost in tears by the time I get to work.

 

I can understand. I have worked with some winners myself. You can find these type of bad apples on every job you get. Hmm what to do about it?

Well, you either look for another job and hope it is better than the one you got now, or instead of getting upset, put it in God's hands..by sayng.. God, this one is yours. These type of people are not happy, honey, or they wouldn't try so hard to bring others down with them. Misery loves company, you know. Be happy, sweetheart, and thank God you don't have to live with that person. Just think if you did, you would probably have to kick their mean nasty butt up around their ears, and sit them in time out of a year before you break them.

[gilmour316]

Oh man, I feel for you! It's not a comfortable spot to be in at all, and the kicker is that it can so often carry over to the home hours as well (the dreading of having to go back the next day). The unfortunate thing is that it is often that behaviour that gets them to their position in the first place. Treat those under them like garbage, kiss up to the higher ups. Something goes wrong? Blame it on the underlings. I can tell you that this type of thing is rampant in the psychology field. Seems so counterintuitive as we're in the supposed "helping field", but so much of their approach is career, research, and grant driven that they have no room for niceties. So unfortunate. Chin up bud...