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Working and Grad School Too Much


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Heavenly55

I work full time and started gad school to become a teacher not too long ago. If I could go back I would have started grad school as soon as I graduated college and was still living at home with no bills. I bascially had no choice but to move out into my own place so now I'm pretty much screwed bc I have rent due each month. When I graduaed college a few years ago I really had no idea what I wanted to do and was out of work for months. So I took the first crap office job that was offered to me. I hated it, cried over even having to go in..but why did I keep it.bc I didn't want to hear mt family's mouth. I'm in my mis 20s but still feel like they like to control certain things and I guess it's my fault too bc I tend to go to them for advice about major decisions I make. So after a little over a year of misery I landed another job, again office work. It's making really good money..but thing is I HATE it too. My first week I was going to quit and spoke to my boss aobut it but stupid me listened to my family bc "how could I turn down such good money" and went back. The worst part is the horrible commute and I have class a few nights a week so when I get home I have to go straight to school and don't get home till late in the evening from being up at 5:30 in the morning. When people hear my schedule they all go wow that must be really hard..yea you can imagine and well my social life, making new friends..has become non existant. So bascially I'm living for work? and pretty much just going though the motions. Yea my bosses let me leave early for school but I also have to come in early too which is a nightmare. I was thinking of sticking this out till Aug or so then maybe becoming a bartender, or waitress..something to just get me through till I finish grad school. I feel like an idiot that I would be wasting a bachelor's degree but if I was to work part time or something flexible I could finish this degree in no time as long as it was enough for me to make my rent. I see this job as nothing more then a pay check and well I don't care about it and i'ts only been 3 months. I feel like this job was a mistake from the get go. Thing is a coworker left after being there for a year..my boss well wouldn't even look at the guy after he gave his resignation. Then on his last day he stood there literally bad mouthing him behind his back as he said his goodbyes and now he openly walks around the office saying that the guy is dead to him and how he never liked him..how unprofessional..who does that? This guy never signed a contract nor does he owe my boss anything. I heard through the grapevine he was mad bc he feels like everyone should give at least a 2 year commitment..well I know he knows I'm in school so I'm assuming he knows I will be leaving before 2 years. I figured in a year and half I will have to quit no matter what in order to complete a class which requires me to be assisting a teacher for 6 weeks. So now if I decided to leave after only few months can u imagine how he will react. I'm afaid to even give a 2 weeks. So my question to all of u is do I quit this eventually to take a lighter job?

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You need to prioritize what is most important to you. If that is school and this particular job is interfering with getting your degree, then you need to find a job that helps you instead.

 

I don't see why you should care so much what your boss might say about you after you leave. You won't be around to hear it, and it doesn't sound like you will need a recommendation from him in the future. If you're certain you want to leave, then do it sooner rather than later - at least he won't have 'invested' a lot of time into you as an employee.

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Trialbyfire

I would definitely focus on education over a job with role models such as your boss. If you decide to leave, remember, you don't need to list it on your CV.

 

Is there no way for you to move home or to share a residence with other students, coworkers or friends? This way, you can take a less emotionally draining job and focus on real priorities in your life.

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Heavenly55
I would definitely focus on education over a job with role models such as your boss. If you decide to leave, remember, you don't need to list it on your CV.

 

Is there no way for you to move home or to share a residence with other students, coworkers or friends? This way, you can take a less emotionally draining job and focus on real priorities in your life.

My family will let me move back..they've told me this many times. It's just that under the same roof well we don't all get along that well lol. And I love coming home to my own apartment. As far as my friends they're all living at home yet to even find a decent job let alone move out. I was thinking of finding a roomate or something that way we can split the rent but I don't think I could move in with a random stranger. Part of me feels bad bc hey this job is paying my bills but seeing how my boss reacted to one worker leaving him..well it left a bad taste in my mouth. He's not my direct boss though..he's over my manager but still. I guess part of me feels guilty like even taking this job in the first place. But honestly I didn't think school would be this demanding but it is and I hate having to slap on a happy face and pretend like I like going to this place every day when I don't.

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Trialbyfire
My family will let me move back..they've told me this many times. It's just that under the same roof well we don't all get along that well lol. And I love coming home to my own apartment. As far as my friends they're all living at home yet to even find a decent job let alone move out. I was thinking of finding a roomate or something that way we can split the rent but I don't think I could move in with a random stranger. Part of me feels bad bc hey this job is paying my bills but seeing how my boss reacted to one worker leaving him..well it left a bad taste in my mouth. He's not my direct boss though..he's over my manager but still. I guess part of me feels guilty like even taking this job in the first place. But honestly I didn't think school would be this demanding but it is and I hate having to slap on a happy face and pretend like I like going to this place every day when I don't.

Regardless, I think it wise to find someone to share the bills with. At least it will provide you with one more bolt-hole to escape an uncomfortable work situation. Not living with your parents is a personal choice that you're willing to make but as you can see, something's gotta' give. You've only got a few years to focus on your school. Get your education over with as soon as possible so you don't find yourself tempted to take a year or decade or two off.

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I've been there before, but i dont think it was ever as tough for me as it is for you because I was living at home at the time. But nonetheless, after a full day of grueling work and having to attend night classes and do hw after getting home until you finish it and jumping into the sack is very stressing with time constraints, and even the sleep deprivation doesnt help when you walk into work half asleep.

 

But first off, i think you need to weigh the negatives and positives of your current state:

NEGS:

1) sleep deprivation

2) limited time to do hw (which could result in poor grades)

3) low productivity at work which could result in poor work performance

4) lack of class participation or attentiveness (again low grades)

(5) (lack of social life, it depends how important this is to you)

POS:

...well there isnt really much to it as you are more independent as an individual VS living at home.

 

I had a night classmate and she was almost in your position, but then again she was a slacker. She was living with 2 roomates doing bartending and waitressing while being a night student.

 

I would suggest these options:

getting a roomate to split the bills

finding a more flexible job that allows you to work certain days of the week (or maybe even part-time)

moving back home

 

Your present may be what's important now, but if the present is going to screw up your future...honestly i dont think it's worth torturing yourself over. Forget what people say or think, what matters is what you're doing to secure your success. If you hate your job, then you have all the more incentive to go a different route.

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amerikajin

If you sacrifice anything, I would sacrifice your job and, temporarily, your independence. If you sacrifice your school, you risk performing poorly and wasting all the money you've borrowed.

 

Your bottom line is that you're probably taking on too much. As said earlier, prioritize. It's good that you're not a slacker, but taking on too much can be just as destructive, actually.

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