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Moral Dilemma

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Old 28th December 2006, 12:12 PM   #1
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Question Moral Dilemma


I am starting a new job next week. It is a nine month contract with benefits, good work/life balance, excellent salary, and with a promise to renew as permanent with full benefits if all goes well. Great!

Except for the fact that I just got married, I am 37 next month, and my husband wants to start trying to conceive a child in March. I would love to have another child (my first is 8 yrs old), and it's now or never considering certain risks that increase with age.

If I get preggers during my 9 month contract, do I keep it a secret and basically trick my new employer into a legal obligation to preserve my job for the year that I would take off? I tell them in good time before the contract is up in September? How many people would say that if I tell them too soon, they'll dismiss me faster than you can say BYE BYE?

Business is business. Family is family. Bit of a dilemma considering my age. My husband thinks we can manage if I am let go and then I can take three years off and re-enter the work force again.
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Old 28th December 2006, 12:21 PM   #2
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I live in the US, so maybe things are different in Canada.

Do you get a year off when you have a baby? Wow.

If pregnancy is not related to job function in the US, your employer cannot fire you or let you go. If it is and you don't let them know or do let them know, then yes, they can.

I hav always found that being honest pays off better in the long run. Right now you are making the assumption that you will get pregnant in March or sometime during your contract. If you do get pregnant anytime before June, I am guessing that your employer will figure out that you are pregnant, so there will be no secret. They may never say anything to you that they know. SO, if they decide not to continue your position with you, they will never have to say that pregnancy was even a consideration in their decision to not hire you. IF you do let them know and they do not hire you, then this can be a grounds for a lawsuit...not that I recommend it, just saying. And if they know you know they know you are pregnant, they will be certain that there are reasons they don't want you if they do not continue your employment.

Bottom line...tell them when you are far enough along and have a fair certainty that the pregnancy is healthy. Or wait to get pregnant until after your are permanently hired.
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Old 28th December 2006, 12:25 PM   #3
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I agree with JamesM....being honest usually pays off in the long run. I would also tell them when the pregnancy is far enough along to assure that it is a healthy one. can't really hide it that much after the first trimester. Someone will guess. It would be better to proactively take control of the situation rather than be passive and deceptive.
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Old 28th December 2006, 1:09 PM   #4
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Talking O Canada! both make wise remarks here. Of course, assuming that I get pregnant right away, there would be no use trying to cover it up as my body would change noticeably. But I agree with allowing time to pass to ensure a healthy pregnancy. No use rocking the boat only to discover a huge loss a few weeks down the road. It happens. Then they would be en garde.

Yes, as long as your due date falls greater than 13 months after your date of hire, your permanent employer is obligated to allow you to return to your position or a similar one upon return after one year. Also, most employers have benefits which pay a portion to you supplementary to what the government kicks in for Employment Insurance while you are off on maternity leave. Also, we have health coverage in Canada, so we don't pay doctor and hospital fees to give birth in a hospital. It's covered under federal and provincial plans. Isn't that wonderful?! Last year, I got a bladder infection while visiting Boston, and the bill I got from the Massachusetts General when I returned home came out to about $1000.00. No wonder so many people in the US go bankrupt.

Originally Posted by JamesM View Post
And if they know you know they know you are pregnant, they will be certain that there are reasons they don't want you if they do not continue your employment.
You're absolutely right. I think if I am well liked and HONEST, they will explore whatever they can to accomodate my situation by perhaps extending the contract to the due date of the delivery, and until I am ready to return on a re-hire basis, we can sit down and perhaps re-negotiate another term. So I shouldn't burn the bridge by being deceptive. Law suit? I wouldn't dream of boss is a lawyer...he'll have it all figured out...besides, he has two small children of his own and I would hope he could empathize with the situation as long as I am honest.

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Old 29th December 2006, 5:15 PM   #5
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It's a 9-month contract?

Are you planning on being pregnant for more than 9 months? j/k

I guess you are hoping for an extension. This happens all the time, and depending on you and your employer, things can work out wonderfully. If you show them how hard working you are and how much you love the job, and they agree that you are valuable enough to hire back after a year, then go ahead and get preggers!

But yes, be honest if you do get pregnant (after 3 months of course).
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Old 29th December 2006, 5:53 PM   #6
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no contest!

baby is the easy answer

u can always get a job

but you have only so long to have a bun in the oven

hey, i have a friend at work - wife stays at home, they have 5 kids and his the happiest guy i know in the office
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