Demonic oppression/possession?

[Tanyasinclair]

I figure that many people have different opinions on this subject. I have spoken to people who do not believe in the existence of angels or demons, I've spoken to those who do, and I have a friend who believes they exist but also feels that demons and angels aren't necessarily all that involved with the daily existence of humans.

 

The reason why I am posting about this is because.... a couple years ago, something happened where I do feel, and believe, that I was exorcised.

 

And ever since that happened, it's like I've been a different person and I've gone through some kind of.... healing phase and readjustment, especially as I've tried to continue to figure out my own place in life and what I am doing with my life. I've even had some really crazy moments.

 

And I would like to hear the opinions of any believers on this board, like... do you think it can leave a mark on the soul, on the mental psyche, if one had been possessed or deeply effected by an evil spirit in some way?

 

I would also like to share some background info on this. I have already tried to tell some people my story, and I have already received dismissive comments like, "Why do you feel you were possessed?" or "What makes you think it was really a demon?" In some ways... at the risk of sounding arrogant and perhaps a tad snobby, I guess I'm just a little disappointed that some fellow Christians needed convincing at all, considering.... I dunno, I just feel like... if someone really is devoted to Christian beliefs and all that the Bible says, it should come with the territory that demons and angels are real things, even if we can't see them.

 

And I just thought that... well, it's understandable if a liberal-atheist, agnostic, or someone from another belief may not believe exactly what I'm saying, but... when it comes to Christians, at least some of the ones I trusted to be supportive in the belief structure and knowledge and studies, I just.... would have thought that they'd give me the benefit of the doubt, and be automatically more open to the concept without questioning it as an automatic response.

 

Then again, I can also understand that it's difficult to... really put much stock into something you haven't seen or haven't had any experience with personally.

 

But anyway, with that aside....

 

Basically, back in 2007, something happened. While I was asleep one night, it's like I became aware of a very.... oppressive presence. I really felt like the devil himself was trying to get into me and take me over, that's the only way I can describe it. I woke up squirming and struggling and mentally crying out to God, saying I wanted HIM, and I didn't want this thing in me, and... whatever it was, it seemed to stop in its tracks. Honestly, I thought it was gone, and I thought that was the end of it.

 

But... in retrospect, it did sometimes seem like... weird things would happen. Nothing external, and nothing that anybody would really notice. But it's like I sometimes got these... feelings, or nudges to poke somebody the wrong way with certain words, or I could really be a subtle instigator. And at times, I really liked sick and sadistic things, and I sometimes enjoyed the prospect of human suffering while feigning a listening ear or sympathy at times.

 

That's... kinda the way it seemed at times, at least. Although part of that could be due to my own mental problems and personality, as I've always had kind of a twisted sense of humor, I'm not sure.

 

Either way....

 

Long story short, I ended up talking to a friend on facebook about how I suspected I had a problem with a demon. I actually talked about it with a couple of believer friends. The first one told me that if I suspected anything, I should go talk to a priest or a minister IMMEDIATELY because demons are no funny business. So I took her advice, and I tried speaking a bit to my pastor at the Lutheran church, and he really didn't seem to have anything much to say on the subject, and we moved onto other things.

 

So I simply let it rest for a few weeks or so. The issue stayed on my mind one way or another, and it was made worse by the fact that I kept feeling like.... something invisible, oppressive, and heavy (without being tangible) was latched onto me and hovering around me at the same time. What was even stranger was that there were times when I did see SOMETHING out of the corner of my eye, always just over my shoulder, though whenever I looked I never saw anything. But it happened too many times and it was always in roughly the same spot for it to be coincidence.

 

Anyway, I spoke with a different friend about this issue, and she told me the same advice the first friend gave me... to go speak to a pastor. This time, I went to speak to a Catholic priest.... who did agree to see me when both our schedules permitted, but he also didn't seem to take the subject very seriously, he even just kinda brushed past it, and we soon moved onto other things.

 

I talked to the second friend again about this later, and she told me that I NEEDED to command the thing to leave in the name of Jesus. She told me more or less to say something like, "Satan in the name of Jesus I command you to go from me, go where Christ tells you and do not return" or... something along those lines.

 

And you know what's weird? I almost didn't do it. Because... part of me liked it, I was used to it, and maybe in some stupid way, I... felt honored to have been chosen, like... if a demon had selected me, that must have meant I was something special, a good part of God's plan, it gave me a weird ego boost to feel that I had gained enough attention to attract such measures from a demon. (Then again, I have always been a bit of an attention-whore and I've always wanted to feel special or noticed....)

 

But she was like, "DO IT" and I said the words aloud, and.... I really did feel like, right at that moment, whatever it was left me. It went away, the oppressive pressure stopped, and ever since that happened, I will add, I have never had the weird thing happen again where I think I see something out of the corner of my eye.

 

On top of that, she said that I felt different to her, and she was good at empathic vibes. And my own Mom, who has some empathic and spiritual sensibilities and sensitvities, also said that it felt like something had been fixed and that I felt lighter than before.

 

Buuuut after that.... I'm honestly not sure what happened. It's almost like I spent the next couple of years being.... crazy at times. And sometimes it seemed like reality itself around me had turned a bit insane.

 

My friend suggested at one point that the removal of evil spirits might not have been finished yet, because some of them could only be removed through prayer.... though I never really went anywhere with that, and I couldn't really tell if anything else is still present or not. I still can't. She also forbid me from speaking of hte subject any more because she said it could be considered an invitation for a demon to return or take its place, and she also tried to forbid me from watching or delving into anything that had demons, evil spirits, witches, occult, or anything else like that, because it might be.... enticing to demons.

 

She even tried to tell me to make some holy water and use it around the apartment, and to play loud music praising God's name because satan hates that and will stay away.

 

Just.... don't know. I am reaching the point where I wonder if something could still be in there, or around me, or... something. If so, I don't really know how to go about it, how to get it removed, or what, especially since it seems like there aren't many Christian pastors or leaders who take this sort of thing seriously or have the knowledge to actually do something about it.

 

Or maybe I've just been in an extended recovery period... or maybe the entire matter left marks on me that don't really make sense or can't be identified or treated by a regular doctor or even a shrink. I don't know, I really, really don't.

 

It could also be that I really did get myself in quite a bit of a mess (with the wrong crowd, and the wrong thought processes/attitude) while under the influence, or... if something is still in me, it could have been upset that I've been making progress in breaking free, and it's been upping the ante in trying to reassert more control.... I really don't know.

 

Just.... please believe me when I say I'm not making this stuff up, and... if anyone has any insights, thoughts, theories, or personal experiences that are even remotely similar, please feel free to share. I'm open to anything here.

[Ronni_W]

At the bottom of the left-hand-side menu on this page - Questions and answers about various spiritual topics - you will find links to 'Black Magic', 'Dark Forces' and 'Evil'.

 

However, that's not the only source for insights and theories. There is also the PDF, 'Exorcism Orthodox and Roman Rituals', put out by the Society of Clerks Secular of

Saint Basil (the Orthodox Catholic Church of the Americas).

 

You can also Google for the Spiritist books on the topic, by Allan Kardec.

[Lobouspo]

OP, were you dabbling in the occult in any way? (i.e. Ouija boards, tarot cards, etc) Demonic possession happens but is exceedingly rare. Some type of spiritual portal has to be willingly opened by the oppressed in these situations.

[amaysngrace]

OP, were you dabbling in the occult in any way? (i.e. Ouija boards, tarot cards, etc) Demonic possession happens but is exceedingly rare. Some type of spiritual portal has to be willingly opened by the oppressed in these situations.

 

This was my first thought too. Disobeying the First Commandment can cause all kinds of internal struggles, sadly.

[Tanyasinclair]

I never outright participated in anything.... well, too extreme, if you get what I mean. About the closest things I ever did was delve slightly into stuff like... what did this fortune cookie say, is this 8-ball gonna say anything good, and there was a period of time I got into horoscopes just a tad.

 

But if I dabbled into anything, it was always... stuff like that.

 

However, if I am guilty of anything, it is a... well, somewhat intense curiosity of the darker side of the spirit world, so to speak. Especially since I was strongly forbidden as a kid to look at anything even remotely occult-related, and by that account I was terrified to catch myself THINKING of the devil because I thought it would lead to possession or other thing.

 

But sometimes when something is a bit too forbidden, maybe that makes it all the more appealing and you end up either snapping or getting a bit too curious about it.

 

I sometimes wonder if maybe I inadvertently sent a subconscious invitation. I mean, you can pray to God with your mind/thoughts, I've done that many times. Who is to say you can't send out a vibe or some kind of invite/message to... something else that might be listening, something that might be receptive or just waiting for that kind of thing to pounce on?

[Haydn]

I did a Ouija board at uni.

 

Chatted to a dead girlfriend. Who was alive and well and living in Bristol.

 

I don`t know about portals. The kiddies bedrooms are portals.

 

So is Millwall away.

 

Probably not best to mess with this stuff.

[NTV]

People ask about why you think it might be a demon because it's very common to attribute evil thoughts to outside influences to avoid feelings of shame or guilt and sometimes even shift the blame.

 

I would suggest that you journal for a while if you don't already. Journalist a lot of times helps with expressing negative thoughts and emotions. You can also look back on your words in a week/month/year and look back on events more objectively. Plus if you read something you wrote and realize that you are mad then you to seek help.

 

There are many churches that your experience wouldn't be considered uncommon. There are many others where it would. Often times it's up to the congregation to come to a consensus on how they speak of their personal demons versus what they consider works of an evil source.

 

If you feel the urge to seek out a church that more readily discusses demonic temptations and influence then by all means do so. Regardless of your success I do recommend starting to journal as well.

[mightycpa]

Why don't you go get some water blessed by a Catholic priest, and then gulp it down, douse yourself in it IN HIS PRESENCE? That ought to give you some feedback if you've got any demons left inside.

[Arieswoman]

Tanya,

I think you need to go and speak to a Catholic priest - not the one you spoke to before BTW.

 

I really think this topic is beyond the scope of people on this board.

 

Sorry

[todreaminblue]

I have heard voices for a very long time and some of them are not good....voices have saved my life ......and then other voices have made me feel like the worse person on earth deserving of nothing.....worthless....they are hard to handle....

 

if i say or write or think stuff that is wrong...that isnt voices ...that's me......and i accept responsibility .....for my own thoughts that lead to actions i should or shouldn't do.....there is a difference between voices and thoughts.....they feel different.....i do believe in angels i do believe that god talks through others also......and supplies hands on earth to guide and help us.....i have had tarot cards and have been involved in ouijji nights....the first one was on a school camp...and i saw a white shadow figure of a girl staying at a place near the jenolan caves....the things i said freaked the girls out and we stopped......i said things about them.....not evil things ...true things....i am an empath always have been ....

 

i dont know if i believe in demonic possession i dont know how to feel about it honestly...i believe there are empty people walking around who have no compassion..not one bit in their whole bodies.........and they are scary...nearly my whole family have seen ghosts......including my grand kids......and also and this is a bit of a heart warmer....my old dogs that have passed....

 

i have in the past been interested in the occult ...and have studied wiccan more for the use of naturopathy ......natural remedies.....gave it all up when i was converted ..i have always believed in god and my grandfather not too happy about the occult books i had....he threw them away long long ago on a visit..............still believe in herbs.....and plant medicine....gods gifts....

 

 

i dont think you should mess with things you dont know just like i shouldnt have messed with things i didnt understand and i really do think you need to speak to someone in and with the proper authority to deal with such issues...pray to god...ask of god what is real and what isnt...i agree with the other poster arieswoman who said people on this board wont be able to help you like you need to be helped.....good luck...deb