sportygirl89 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 (edited) Having been at my church it made me feel like I was the only one. But I found out I wasn't the case. However some people I asked about it I would get the response maybe its you as its something on your part. I'm generally approachable and can do small talk. How to overcome this if you've been in this position? Some days I feel like that intentions are not right. Like most are just trying to find a mate. Which is fine. I have been here for over a year and just have not found any guy myself. So I'm doing the next best thing to build my community. Edited February 21, 2016 by sportygirl89 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Forgive the question, but are you going to church to practice and deepen, or maintain your faith, to meet friends, or to find a guy? I realise they're not mutually exclusive, but is there a specific priority on your part? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 Forgive the question, but are you going to church to practice and deepen, or maintain your faith, to meet friends, or to find a guy? I realise they're not mutually exclusive, but is there a specific priority on your part? To maintain faith and to meet friends. As community is important for your faith. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 I only ask because to be honest, I'm having some difficulty reconciling your post with your thread title.... Do any girls have issues connecting with other girls at church? Having been at my church it made me feel like I was the only one. Only one...? Doing what? But I found out I wasn't the case. However some people I asked about it I would get the response maybe its you as its something on your part. I have no idea what you're referring to here.... I'm generally approachable and can do small talk. How to overcome this if you've been in this position? Some days I feel like that intentions are not right. Again, it really isn't clear what the problem is.... Like most are just trying to find a mate. Which is fine. I have been here for over a year and just have not found any guy myself. Hence my question.... finding a mate? Found a guy yourself? Confusing... So I'm doing the next best thing to build my community. No mention of why you're primarily attending this church and with this congregation. Do you see what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 I only ask because to be honest, I'm having some difficulty reconciling your post with your thread title.... Only one...? Doing what? I have no idea what you're referring to here.... Again, it really isn't clear what the problem is.... Hence my question.... finding a mate? Found a guy yourself? Confusing... No mention of why you're primarily attending this church and with this congregation. Do you see what I mean? I said in my recent post I've been with this church for a year. And mentioned my recent post that I have been maintaining my faith and trying to grow my faith. Forming friendships with girls at church whom are already friends or those girls are there looking for mates. But I see you have not read any of my posts thoroughly as recent post just answered your questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 I thought I was the only one unable to get in the singles group. But I'm not the only one who has felt neglected friendship wise. Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 I heard all you have to do is say a couple prayers and good things will happened. Link to post Share on other sites
soleilesquire Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 I heard all you have to do is say a couple prayers and good things will happened. Don't know where you heard that. I never have. Unless of course this is just off topic bashing of others' faith I'll be Frank, OP. If you cannot connect with ANY of the other women, this problem is likely you. You are likely suspicious, intolerant, you perceive offense where there is none, and you lack typical social skills. Jealousy may be a factor as well. I would look at yourself first. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 The only guy I seek out in church is JC. Never had a problem finding him there either. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Church is largely about community, try to join some of the programs your church offers and that should help. Although their may not be a lot of young people in the programs. Most young people these days are pretty busy, and even the religious ones, usually don't have time for a lot of extra curricular church groups. You could also try joining some online Christian communities and meeting people through that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Having been at my church it made me feel like I was the only one. But I found out I wasn't the case. However some people I asked about it I would get the response maybe its you as its something on your part. I'm generally approachable and can do small talk. How to overcome this if you've been in this position? Some days I feel like that intentions are not right. Like most are just trying to find a mate. Which is fine. I have been here for over a year and just have not found any guy myself. So I'm doing the next best thing to build my community. Since I'm a married woman with no kids, I have a hard time staying connected to women my age who do have kids. So, while I have friends at church who are married and have kids, I tend to connect more with older ladies who are great mentors. I also help out with kids. Do you think you would have an easier time connecting to older ladies? From my experience, they are very caring and are always willing to give good advice. They can also teach skills such as baking, sewing, gardening, and so on, which is very nice of them to do! As for finding a guy, I don't think it's wrong to look for a guy at church. The desire to get married is, in my opinion, a God-given desire and church should ideally be the best place to find one's mate. Sadly though, there are not many good Christians guys. When I was single in church, I met a lot of Christian guys who wanted to have sex with me but didn't want to enter the marriage covenant before God with me first. Sexual immorality is rampant in churches today. Do you want to get married? If so, I will pray for you to find a diamond in the ruff! They are out there; they're just rare. God brought my husband and me together on a secular dating site, which is funny. However, several of the main things that impressed me about my hubby before I even met him face to face is that he took his profile down right after meeting me, we studied the Bible together via phone, and he didn't run away when I told him I am interested in marriage, not just dating. Back to connecting with other girls, my advice is not to worry about it, but rather to see about finding a mentor with an older Christian woman you respect, and helping with the younger ones. I think that if you don't worry about it, maybe eventually you will find a good friend at church. Link to post Share on other sites
soleilesquire Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 What Bethebutterfly said about older women has some really good Biblical basis. Titus talks about the importance of older women mentoring younger women. One of my dearest longtime friends is a woman about 11 years older than me. She was close enough to my age to remember my "phase of life" well, but she had already walked it, and she really helped me along. Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and try to find a woman who exudes those qualities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 What Bethebutterfly said about older women has some really good Biblical basis. Titus talks about the importance of older women mentoring younger women. One of my dearest longtime friends is a woman about 11 years older than me. She was close enough to my age to remember my "phase of life" well, but she had already walked it, and she really helped me along. Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and try to find a woman who exudes those qualities. That's awesome and Biblical, that you have this friend who helps you along the phases of life she has already experienced! Yes, Proverbs 31:10-31 is an impressive list, and an older Christian women with experience can definitely help younger Christians! I still remember my first fight with my hubby. I was so mad at him lol and he wisely went to one of my mentors and her husband for help. They have been married for around 50 years and have lots of experience! They helped us break down the wall that the fight caused and reconcile. We are forever in their debt. That was around 3 years ago. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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