Those who believe in a God, have you been sent a sign about your relationship?

[VanessaVanessa]

For those who believe in God, of whatever religion, have you found you have been given a sign by God about your romantic relationship?

 

Have you been cautioned in pursuing a relationship, in staying in one, in escaping from one?

 

Did you accept the sign and take action or what happened?

[Michelle ma Belle]

Yes!

 

The most significant experience I had was when I was struggling in my marriage and wrestling with the idea of separation. Up to that point, we had been married 13 years or so and been struggling for a good 6+ years. It had gotten progressively worse over the years, sexless, the building anger, resentment, passive aggressive behaviors etc.

 

I was petrified of leaving him because I wasn't sure I could go off on my own with a young family to raise. I had very supportive parents but I didn't want to ask them for anything out of sheer pride. At this point, I had only been working three quarter time in a job I loved but where there wasn't any more room for advancement or opportunities to make more money. I also had a **** car I was driving (my hubby had the brand new car) which made me worry about reliable transportation and therefore the costs that I would incur on my own dealing with that. And on and on...

 

I used to spend countless night crying myself to sleep at night and had many moments just like the one in Eat, Pray, Love where Julia Roberts' character wakes up in the middle of the night, goes to the bathroom, gets down on her knees and starts praying telling God to send her a sign of what to do, and she'd do it.

 

That happened to me! I woke up the next day feeling calmer and resolute in what I had to do. At that point, everything started to change and point me in the direction I needed to go. Within a couple of days, I found a job posting purely by chance for a great job with a national organization doing the same work I had already been doing but with all the perks and benefits. I applied and got the job. Money and job security? Check.

 

My birthday and my mom's birthday are just a couple of days apart. My dad bought my mom a brand new luxury car and then decided to give my mom's original car to me for MY birthday. It was only a year old and was in exceptional condition since my mother drives like an old lady, lol. Reliable car? Check.

 

There were several other small yet powerful changes that made clinging to all my excuses of why NOT to leave more and more difficult. I became calm and confident in my decision knowing that it was the best decision for everyone. Something in me told me that my ex and I would be alright and that it would all work out between us better than it was now. And it did and still is.

 

It was like a cloud had been lifted and all these opportunities presented themselves to me. All I had to do was stay open, look for the signs and trust that everything would be fine. I know that sounds all hokey pokey but it sincerely happened just this way.

 

Having said that, despite my clarity it still took me another 3 years before my husband and I actually separated and sold the house and moved on with our lives. It was probably a bit of a longer process than most couples but it's what worked for us and our family. When my ex was on board with the plan, we worked together and spent the last year and half or so working on our family and getting them ready for our separation. It was all very harmonious yet bitter sweet.

 

After this experience, it felt like something shifted in me. I have continued to pray about things and stay open and always am hyper aware of signs and opportunities that may present themselves to me as directional markers in my life. I also have learned how to trust my instincts which I feel are part of the spiritual process just as any other divine sign you see with your eyes, this is felt with your gut and it's powerful if you listen to it. That's not to say I haven't had some hard times afterward, because I have. Mourning the loss of my marriage and family was much harder than I realized but again, I had faith that with enough time and therapy and supportive people around me, it too would pass. And it did.

 

I'm a believer

Edited May 27, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle

[VanessaVanessa]

Thank you for sharing that.

 

I felt that I was given a strong sign (and several smaller signs) to decide to break up with my ex boyfriend, so I followed on those signs because I didn't want to be clinging onto something that would just become worse in the future.

 

It's been 7 months going on 8 months later and I am feeling doubtful of the signs now, in a way. I mean, some days I feel upset about how the relationship didn't get to blossom but I still feel that separating was for the best. And on some other random days I feel as though maybe there were never any signs, but at the same time I think it could just be me slipping back and trying to overlook all the things that were happening badly in the relationship, now that some time has passed. I don't know. I honestly have been asking for signs on how to move on and even to have another, more grounded chance at being in a relationship with someone. But I haven't been feeling like I am going to get that chance.

 

I don't know if I am making sense.

[amaysngrace]

I had a few strong people to support me before during and after I decided to divorce my husband and God put those people in my life so yes.

 

The kind words spoken by kind people without judgment could very much be taken as a sign from God if you want to see it that way. I know I did.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Thank you for sharing that.

 

I felt that I was given a strong sign (and several smaller signs) to decide to break up with my ex boyfriend, so I followed on those signs because I didn't want to be clinging onto something that would just become worse in the future.

 

It's been 7 months going on 8 months later and I am feeling doubtful of the signs now, in a way. I mean, some days I feel upset about how the relationship didn't get to blossom but I still feel that separating was for the best. And on some other random days I feel as though maybe there were never any signs, but at the same time I think it could just be me slipping back and trying to overlook all the things that were happening badly in the relationship, now that some time has passed. I don't know. I honestly have been asking for signs on how to move on and even to have another, more grounded chance at being in a relationship with someone. But I haven't been feeling like I am going to get that chance.

 

I don't know if I am making sense.

 

It's natural to look back and doubt yourself and what the issues were that caused you to move in this direction in the first place. That's perfectly okay and very normal.

 

I have said it before in another post; when we're eyeball deep in our relationships we tend to only see all the negatives things about it whether they're justified or not. Then when that relationship ends for whatever reason we can't stop looking back and remembering only the good things about it.

 

This doesn't make the decision to leave a wrong one, it just means we cared enough about the person at some point. The relationship may deserve a mourning period if only to honor the good bits.

 

Don't confuse loneliness and fear with love. That's not enough to sustain any relationship.

 

Hugs to you.

[Allumere]

I felt I was guided to my last relationship. I prayed and based on all my other relationships I was leaving it up to God this time as obviously doing it my way was wrong, wrong, wrong. When I finally got enough courage to start OLD again, this gent was the first one to appear as a match. Since he was out of my travel range I ignored. But he kept showing up in my matches, more so then other duplicates so finally I was like ".....ohhhhhh" So I read his profile, enjoyed it and contacted him. The first date was the best I have ever had! After a few dates he came to my house for dinner. Of course the attraction was there and I was impressed with the guy but you know when things are all mushy you never know what will happen. Well while he was visiting one of my cats escaped from their room and came into the kitchen...and proceeded to jump up in the chair the guy was sitting in. Ok, no big deal..cats look for laps right. Not this one. He is timid of people and certainly never comes to strangers. But this time he did and he proceeded to let the guy pet him. That to me was a sign in a language I recognize. Talk about sending a thousand thank yous. I had no doubt this was the guy I was meant for and vice versa. Alas the ending is not a happy one as 9 months later I was dumped for not being Christian enough. Unfortunately God gave me the sign and the person but he gave us all free choice and this gent made his (I do believe his sister who is a very conservative Christian steered his decision). I still believe he was the person I went through all the past crap to be ready to meet but there is nothing to be done but accept his decision and pray for good things for him and his children.

[VanessaVanessa]

I also believe now that having the relationship my way was wrong on various levels, so i also have been TRYING to leave it up to God. I suppose my problem is that I really thought it was going to work out. But it was my first ever relationship.

 

It's very much a good thing that you have accepted his choice and still wish him well even though you were following those signs which you took as positives, I don't know how you are able to. Even though I was the one to end the relationship, partly that is my struggle, in that even though I don't wish my ex any specific harm, I don't exactly wish him well. It was a hurtful end to the relationship. I estimate that a large community here are people who got dumped and it's not common to see being the dumper as being real difficult in the same ways.

 

I guess that I am hoping to get some sign of getting to know someone new who I can trust, with leaving it up to God, yet I guess I am becoming impatient or just more doubtf every day. Actually at times I guess that I don't deserve to since our relationship was not truly free of bad choices. Ijust wish there was a way of being certain that I have made the right decision.

[Allumere]

I didn't say it was easy. When he ended it I was crushed and more than a bit upset and angry. I spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened so I went on various forums where Christians hang out and asked ( I am Christian but I needed the conservative spin). Heck I even searched relationship forums and discussions about the religious dynamics in relationships, etc. I didn't much care for the answers but they did help me understand things from his perspective (understand and accept does not equal agree). It does no good for me to not wish him well and I can continue to love and care for him through my prayers. I can actually do that and still want to choke him...folks experience that dynamic in relationships all the time

 

Impatient, doubtful? Normal. Don't be uncomfortable about making things happen, creating or being in situations that could introduce you t0 that new person. Some may say to pray more and continue having faith and God will take care of you....well he will but that doesn't mean he can't be doing it through an idea or inspiration or some random activity. Some folks have a script in their head in regards to how thing will play out.. if I do A, B, and C then BINGO. I think when it comes to God in many cases it is about eyes, ears and heart open.

Edited May 29, 2014 by Allumere

[lovehurtsme91]

Thank you for sharing that.

 

I felt that I was given a strong sign (and several smaller signs) to decide to break up with my ex boyfriend, so I followed on those signs because I didn't want to be clinging onto something that would just become worse in the future.

 

It's been 7 months going on 8 months later and I am feeling doubtful of the signs now, in a way. I mean, some days I feel upset about how the relationship didn't get to blossom but I still feel that separating was for the best. And on some other random days I feel as though maybe there were never any signs, but at the same time I think it could just be me slipping back and trying to overlook all the things that were happening badly in the relationship, now that some time has passed. I don't know. I honestly have been asking for signs on how to move on and even to have another, more grounded chance at being in a relationship with someone. But I haven't been feeling like I am going to get that chance.

 

I don't know if I am making sense.

 

I had several leaders and a Pastor who gave me hints about my ex that this isn't going to be good. But I was madly in love and obviously pushed it away. They sort of gave me hints about that they felt it will not work out for almost 2 years.

 

And my leaders and Pastors are always very supportive of couples that got together so when I got with my ex, I knew they were happy for me yet afraid for me but I ignored.

 

4 years after, he cheated on me. So... I guess the signs are there for a reason. My signs are very obvious and I still went ahead. Call me stupid in love I suppose. But yeah it's normal to look bad at your life and wonder of the what ifs. It's okay to, but don't dwell on it that you would get depressed over it.

 

You've been doing good for months, just keep it up

[BearMox]

Well, once I hit a white owl while driving to visit an interest. After I closed the door on that relationship I saw another white owl. It just watched me.

 

Wild.

[KathyM]

I think a lot of times people interpret things as signs from God that really are not, or people look for signs based on what they want rather than what God wants. I think it's important to be familiar with what the Bible says, and let that be your guide as to what is God's will. And a person is also supposed to seek wise counsel from other believers to guide them.

[alwayshere]

I think a lot of times people interpret things as signs from God that really are not, or people look for signs based on what they want rather than what God wants. I think it's important to be familiar with what the Bible says, and let that be your guide as to what is God's will. And a person is also supposed to seek wise counsel from other believers to guide them.

 

Exactly. For some things no sign is necessary. For example, the Bible clearly says that a Christian is not to be unequally yoked. So I don't have to ask for a sign about whether or not to be with someone who doesn't share my faith. I already have the answer. I do not have to ask for a sign about whether the 5th date is enough to sleep with him. I have that answer too.

[Tayla]

That would imply that there are soulmates, and since I do not beleive in that concept, the answer is nope!

 

I do beleive though that God does place people in your life for the most unusuall reasons that are revealed sometimes years down the road. Heck I've been an instrument in Gods plan too , I've been put in peoples lives and sometimes I am like...okay what is you want me to do with this mess? *grin*

[pie2]

Exactly. For some things no sign is necessary. For example, the Bible clearly says that a Christian is not to be unequally yoked. So I don't have to ask for a sign about whether or not to be with someone who doesn't share my faith. I already have the answer. I do not have to ask for a sign about whether the 5th date is enough to sleep with him. I have that answer too.

 

lol, that's kind of true...it's all there in the bible. It would be nice if signs from God were like putting a halo over the guy your supposed to marry or something.

 

Although warnings about sin are in the bible, sometimes it's easy to forget! Personally, I believe I've experienced a warning from God telling me to not get involved with this one guy. Things were going down the wrong path, and I really think God scared me straight! I knew what the bible said and everything, but sometimes we can let the flesh take over . Luckily I was COMPLETELY frightened by that experience, and ended things soon after.

[VanessaVanessa]

I have received a few signs in the past week which tell me that I haven't made the wrong choice, it is getting to know those signs of what will get me to a right choice that I seek.

[angel.eyes]

Glad to hear you've gotten some indication.

 

I think we all struggle with whether we're making the right decisions when it comes to picking a partner (or letting one go). Heck, I worry sometimes that I'll end up single my whole life because I don't recognize the person he put in my path for me. It's not as if he'll come with a giant neon sign above him saying "Gift from God."

 

Can I trust my feelings? Can't those lead me astray? I know we are to enjoy the journey. Each experience happens for a reason and teaches us something. Like the birds and lilies, we shouldn't worry. It just would be nice to get a hint about the final destination occasionally.

[ponchsox]

Yes! Just recently, actually. I was devastated after my gf of 1.5 years left me last September. Our relationship had gone down hill from bad to worse the previous six months yet I stayed in it thinking the more effort I put into it, the more she would change. Boy, was I wrong. She was a taker and emotionally unavailable. I didn't pray about it and I was trying to please her, not God. No wonder why God didn't bless the relationship. Not to mention the extreme anxiety I felt during the relationship since she was a single mom and lived an hour away (when I would see her again, would she change plans because of her son, etc)

 

Fast forward six months, and again I selfishly got into a two month fling with a separated woman. All to get over my ex and have someone to wake up to. I wasn't even that attracted to her and we had zero emotional connection. Again, I committed idolatry and didn't trust God.

 

One day I stopped in a Family Christian store and bought a book about prayer. I never really prayed much before that and didn't have the slightest idea about a God's power through prayer. After reading the book, I realized that I was approaching prayer wrong. I wasn't praying to please him first and foremost and I never listened to him.

 

God's grace is truly amazing! He's spoke to me and made it very clear what he wants for me by pleasing him. Here are the things I've changed in my life the last month alone:

 

I stopped looking at porn, completely. I had a borderline addiction. Ok, it was.

 

I stopped online dating and stopped looking at potential dates purely from a looks standpoint.

 

I'm using my new time that had been wasted to read the Bible, I signed up for a Spanish class at a local college this fall, and I'm thinking about taking up surfing.

 

Most importantly, I seek to please God first and he's blessed me washing away. Y sins and relieved me of anxiety and this sin to please myself!

Edited June 26, 2014 by ponchsox

[TylerDurdenn]

I've spoken to Jesus a few times in the past, unfortunately he couldn't give me any relationship advice. Bloody useless.

[pie2]

Yes! Just recently, actually. I was devastated after my gf of 1.5 years left me last September....

 

Fast forward six months, and again I selfishly got into a two month fling with a separated woman. All to get over my ex and have someone to wake up to. I wasn't even that attracted to her and we had zero emotional connection. Again, I committed idolatry and didn't trust God.

 

One day I stopped in a Family Christian store and bought a book about prayer. I never really prayed much before that and didn't have the slightest idea about a God's power through prayer. After reading the book, I realized that I was approaching prayer wrong. I wasn't praying to please him first and foremost and I never listened to him.

 

God's grace is truly amazing! He's spoke to me and made it very clear what he wants for me by pleasing him. Here are the things I've changed in my life the last month alone:

 

I stopped looking at porn, completely. I had a borderline addiction. Ok, it was.

 

I stopped online dating and stopped looking at potential dates purely from a looks standpoint.

 

I'm using my new time that had been wasted to read the Bible, I signed up for a Spanish class at a local college this fall, and I'm thinking about taking up surfing.

 

Most importantly, I seek to please God first and he's blessed me washing away. Y sins and relieved me of anxiety and this sin to please myself!

 

Whoa, ponchsox...what an inspiration .

 

God's power to change us is so real. I don't think there is any better way to overcome addictions (sexual, love, drug, etc) than just asking God. It's so easy. Nothing else is as effective, imo (like just meditating, or just counseling). There's something about asking for God's help that gives us the power to overcome major hurdles.

 

Thank you for sharing!

[VanessaVanessa]

Yes! Just recently, actually. I was devastated after my gf of 1.5 years left me last September. Our relationship had gone down hill from bad to worse the previous six months yet I stayed in it thinking the more effort I put into it, the more she would change. Boy, was I wrong. She was a taker and emotionally unavailable. I didn't pray about it and I was trying to please her, not God. No wonder why God didn't bless the relationship. Not to mention the extreme anxiety I felt during the relationship since she was a single mom and lived an hour away (when I would see her again, would she change plans because of her son, etc)

 

Fast forward six months, and again I selfishly got into a two month fling with a separated woman. All to get over my ex and have someone to wake up to. I wasn't even that attracted to her and we had zero emotional connection. Again, I committed idolatry and didn't trust God.

 

One day I stopped in a Family Christian store and bought a book about prayer. I never really prayed much before that and didn't have the slightest idea about a God's power through prayer. After reading the book, I realized that I was approaching prayer wrong. I wasn't praying to please him first and foremost and I never listened to him.

 

God's grace is truly amazing! He's spoke to me and made it very clear what he wants for me by pleasing him. Here are the things I've changed in my life the last month alone:

 

I stopped looking at porn, completely. I had a borderline addiction. Ok, it was.

 

I stopped online dating and stopped looking at potential dates purely from a looks standpoint.

 

I'm using my new time that had been wasted to read the Bible, I signed up for a Spanish class at a local college this fall, and I'm thinking about taking up surfing.

 

Most importantly, I seek to please God first and he's blessed me washing away. Y sins and relieved me of anxiety and this sin to please myself!

 

Thanks for sharing this.

[BetheButterfly]

For those who believe in God, of whatever religion, have you found you have been given a sign by God about your romantic relationship?

 

Have you been cautioned in pursuing a relationship, in staying in one, in escaping from one?

 

Did you accept the sign and take action or what happened?

 

I am curious what exactly you mean by sign?

 

I did ask God for a wonderful husband who loves Him and who loves me truly. What were signs basically to me that my husband is that man were the following:

 

1. He respects me as a whole person, not as just a sex prospect.

 

2. He respects and obeys God's commands concerning sexual purity, which is very difficult for many men (and women) to do.

 

3. He respects my parents, which is very important to me because I greatly value my parents' advice, especially after going against their advice earlier on in my life and later realizing they were right.

 

4. He is kind to people, helps the poor, and is kind to animals, which shows that his character is good.

 

5. He's not into material possessions, but rather is in to having a great relationship with me.

 

6. He is fun and funny, as well as highly intelligent and caring.

 

7. He knows how to communicate. He doesn't insult me but rather strives to communicate with me in a manner that makes me feel loved and special to him.

 

So in a way, the above were signs to me.

 

Also, I asked God that if it His will that this man and I get married, that He would help me find a job in his state, and He did. However, I was not begging; I was merely at a wait and see stage where if I did not get the job in that state, I wasn't going to sink into the depths of despair.

 

It's really important not to place one's happiness in a person, but rather to place one's happiness in God, no matter the circumstance (which is hard to do sometimes.) Obeying God is very important too.

[VanessaVanessa]

I am curious what exactly you mean by sign?

 

...

 

Also, I asked God that if it His will that this man and I get married, that He would help me find a job in his state, and He did. However, I was not begging; I was merely at a wait and see stage where if I did not get the job in that state, I wasn't going to sink into the depths of despair.

 

It's really important not to place one's happiness in a person, but rather to place one's happiness in God, no matter the circumstance (which is hard to do sometimes.) Obeying God is very important too.

 

 

 

Truthfully, I am not even sure what sign(s) I mean. That's the thing is that I guess I was/am trying to see whether something (said, read, done, seen, etc. could be an indication of what God wants or warns). But I think that sometimes a sign is asked for when the answer is probably already known.

 

I agree with not placing one's happiness in a single person and yes also getting into a begging stage of faith isn't how it should go.

 

Thanks for sharing.

[pie2]

I think that sometimes a sign is asked for when the answer is probably already known.

 

I think that's probably true sometimes.

 

IMO, there are other times though when real signs are sent to guide or warn us. I think we get better at seeing those signs with practice. I know in my own life, I look back on situations and I can see how there were probably some signs warning me of what was to come.

 

For example, maybe I decided I really wanted to do something but one obstacle after another cropped up. Yet I stubbornly pushed on, at any cost. Unfortunately, the result wasn't what I had hoped for, and had I not forced the situation, I'd probably be better off.

 

So, I've learned to be a little more alert in trying to decipher if God is telling me something by paying attention to how my goals come about, how they're planned, and how they're executed.

 

 

(on another note, this thread has had a ton of views! not really the norm in this section of LS. I wonder if people are interested in relationship signs? :p)

[VanessaVanessa]

For example, maybe I decided I really wanted to do something but one obstacle after another cropped up. Yet I stubbornly pushed on, at any cost. Unfortunately, the result wasn't what I had hoped for, and had I not forced the situation, I'd probably be better off.

 

Has happened to me too much the same way, and it's so unfortunate to have to look back and then get why.

[VanessaVanessa]

Sometimes an answer is presented in a hidden way to the way you might have anticipated or expected. And even so it can still be good.

Edited July 12, 2014 by VanessaVanessa