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My girl wants to change me


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Strike_Accord

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My girlfriend is lutheran and I am Atheist. I believe in what I have discovered by traveling the world and seeing things for myself, not what I was told to believe in catholic grade school. Anyway, my girlfriend, whom I love very much and want to spend the rest of my life with, was sort of "sheltered" as a child and not told about evolution and any of the "truths" that I have learned to accept. She has had her lifes events planned out ever since she was little. Which I understand most girls do, but she, I fear, will throw away our love to live the life she has planned. For example, she wants to send our future kids to a lutheran school irregardless of education standards, she must be wait until marriage for sex, and much more. By the way just so you don't think I am some sort of pig, the sex is not whats important I just used that as an example of her "limiting our love."' She wants me to go with her to church. I told her I would go but she can't expect me to change my beliefs, right? I am very satisfied with my beliefs, if she loves me she will accept that. She told me that she will not change, which I didnt ask her to, but she made it evident that if I do not change things will not work. I would do anything to keep her but I dont know what to do. Any thought would help.

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if i was in your situation, which i sort of am but not really, i would just tell her that you are the way you are and she is the way she is. these are just beliefs, nothing else. so its not a huge deal. i think the main idea here would be to compromise. when you have kids- send them to a nice little private school that is non-denominational. sure, you can wait till marriage to have sex, that shouldnt be a problem. i personally think that she isnt willing to change her controlling ways on you....so if compromise doesnt work- give her the boot. you dont need someone forcing their beliefs down your throat.

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Sit down with your girlfriend and make it clear that at this point in time you are an athesist and it's likely that you will be all your life. Given that, see if she still wants to be with you. Often religious evangelical people only want to marry others in the faith, and if so, she will try to convert you throughout your life. Do you really want to put up with that? My parents are evangelical and hassle me practically everyday about going to hell.

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Originally posted by Strike_Accord

Anyway, my girlfriend, whom I love very much and want to spend the rest of my life with, was sort of "sheltered" as a child and not told about evolution and any of the "truths" that I have learned to accept.

 

"Truths?" Who's trying to change who here?

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i had one of those girlfriends once... let me tell you that was a great relationship... she was Catholic and me being Protestant. her mom wasn't to crazy about the whole religion thingy... kept making me goto church with them. i've been to church like twice my entire life, i was so lost in that place, no clue what was going on. then they started telling me that if we were to stay together, you know marriage wise, i'd have to convert... ha...

 

listen, religion is such a huge topic, everyone has their own thoughts... and are entitled to them. noone needs to tell someone how they should or shouldn't think. if she cares about you, she'll drop the whole religion talk.

 

Late...

- Yeti :laugh:

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