jtsukeforth Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Ok i understand that the title was a bit melodramatic but its the truth... I am about to give you the cliff note version of my history with this girl, so please bear with me... I met this girl when i was 20 and she was 17. she had twin daughters who were about a year and a half old. Right away we hit it off we could talk about anything, lay in bed all day with the girls and just enjoy each other... it was great, until we moved out of the apartment we shared with my to friends into our own place... when we got our own place things went slightly downhill, then i got an offer to go away to work for a week and a few days before we had a big foght about something small... then she decided she didnt know if she wanted to be with me... while i was gone, she told me that she was thinking of leaving me for my EX ROOMATE. when i got back, she did, and i left... i went 100 miles away to stay with my dad for 6 months... then she told me she wanted me back and of course i came back. this girl is helpless, i mean she wants me to do EVERYTHING, not in a pushy way she just likes to be treated well. She is prone to random spurts of anger for little reasons, and shes hot and cold with affection... sexually, no complaints... now she has recently told me that she is depressed for the following reasons --shes thinking of one of the guys that she was sleeping with while i was gone( she had 2 relationships and 2 friends w/ benefits while i was gone none of which were at the same time) --she thinks shes not good enough because shes gained like 15 pounds --we aren't financially well off, we survive, but barely... So im just wondering if i should run now or try to tough it out with this girl.. i mean i love her more than i ever thought i could love anyone, and i dont know if its going to get better or not... Link to post Share on other sites
carmaenforcer Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Let me get this straight, you were gone for a week and "she had 2 relationships and 2 friends w/ benefits", DUDE SHE'S A WHORE!!! The whole fight over a small thing before you left was her probably just starting something to have a reason to leave you so that she doesn't feel so bad later, classic whore technique. Trust me I have dealt with many. Be glad you hadn't invested any more time or commitment than you already have. Get out now while you still can and consider it a learning experience. I wouldn't double it if she was doing stuff with your EX roommates while you were still all living together. Ahh man, I'm truly sorry for the pain she has and will cause you but, she's a gangrenous limb and needs to be cut off before she really hurts you. If you look at some of my old posts you will see that I went through something similar to what you are going through with my now Wife. We broke up at her request over something stupid, were broken up for 1 week before she asked me back. I find out that she had gone out with 2 “guy friends”, 2 of their friends, and her ex-boy friend all in 5 days. Now she claims that nothing happened but I didn’t believe her. Later she would get caught cheating on me with her ex-BF, get dumped by me and end up pregnant with this other guys kid, conceived while we were still together. Since she wasn’t sure who the father of the baby was, I took her back once again. Lucky for her that she ended up miscarrying it and we were able to start from scratch. I got lucky in that my woman’s whoring seemed to just be a phase stemming from only having been with one other guy (that ex that she cheated on me with) and wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay single. She is a completely different person now, honest, more respectful, etc. Only you can be the judge but I say she has a lot to prove to you before you can call her yours. If you do decide to try and make it work, do not get too tied to her until she has proven that she deserves to be trusted and even then always be careful. Mine lost her right to have guy friends EVER, for a long time she wasn’t trusted to go out of town with even her best girl friend and I kept her actions under a microscope, analyzing anything she did. This is a horrible way to live but I just needed to watch out for myself and as she proved her trustworthiness I allowed myself to trust a little more. Now we are very happy and expecting our own child. I wish you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 By pure blind and dumb luck she doesn't have 5 kids by 4 different guys, is emotionally unstable, doesn't know what she wants and is willing to drag another human being (you) through her s*** while she finds out and you are seriously asking what to do? Seriously friend, move on, burn everything you have that reminds you of her and never, ever look back. If you choose to stay with her then fasten your seat belt because it is going to hurt like hell. On the other hand if you want to be involved in a high drama, codependent, dysfunctional relationship and lose your sense of identity/self worth as well then go for it. She is broken for a long time and you can not fix her. She'll fix herself when she is ready--if ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jtsukeforth Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 when i say "while i was gone" i mean the six months we were broken up and i moved away... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jtsukeforth Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 oh and when i say "Thinking about" i mean when we argue she admits to sometimes wondering if she would have been better off with him since she only had a brief sexual relationship with him and then decided she wanted to try us again... a classic grass is greener scenario, but i dont know if i should just give her a permanent wake up call... Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 You're 20. She has twins. She's unfaithful. She also sounds promiscuous. Why would you want to link your young life to someone like that so early-on when you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to find, fall in love with and marry someone without all that baggage. If you do it, you're going to regret it. Believe it or not there are nice, decent, unencumbered young women out there and you won't be raising someone else's children which, in case you're not aware of it, can be horribly expensive, any child, but why someone else's? Link to post Share on other sites
ridingthebulls Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 Let me get this straight, you were gone for a week and "she had 2 relationships and 2 friends w/ benefits", DUDE SHE'S A WHORE!!! The whole fight over a small thing before you left was her probably just starting something to have a reason to leave you so that she doesn't feel so bad later, classic whore technique. Trust me I have dealt with many. Be glad you hadn't invested any more time or commitment than you already have. Get out now while you still can and consider it a learning experience. HOW CAN YOU TELL HIM TO GET OUT WHILE HE CAN WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT. YOU GAVE YOUR WIFE A SECOND CHANCE! If you look at some of my old posts you will see that I went through something similar to what you are going through with my now Wife. We broke up at her request over something stupid, were broken up for 1 week before she asked me back. I find out that she had gone out with 2 “guy friends”, 2 of their friends, and her ex-boy friend all in 5 days. Now she claims that nothing happened but I didn’t believe her. Later she would get caught cheating on me with her ex-BF, get dumped by me and end up pregnant with this other guys kid, conceived while we were still together. Since she wasn’t sure who the father of the baby was, I took her back once again. Lucky for her that she ended up miscarrying it and we were able to start from scratch. YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE SHE LOST THE "REMNANTS" OF HER AFFAIR, THAT IT IS STARTING FROM SCRATCH? I got lucky in that my woman’s whoring seemed to just be a phase stemming from only having been with one other guy (that ex that she cheated on me with) and wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay single. She is a completely different person now, honest, more respectful, etc. How can you make such an observation when it's only been a few years tops after the fact. Now we are very happy and expecting our own child. Famous last words. From what I gather, I just saw a post up on how much you "hate" your wife. I'm sorry, but she does sound like a mess and you do too. Makes me wonder why you jumped into marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Heavenseventeen Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 She's using you. It's sad that you may never see the kids again, but it is time for you to take your share and leave. She's using you. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 I'm simply dumbfounded that you are giving any thought to staying with her. What exactly is it about her that you love? The sex? Don't confuse lust and sex with love. She clearly doesn't love you. Run now and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
most Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Grass is not greener on the other side....its just grass. You would do better to leave her now. Link to post Share on other sites
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