How Not To Wait For Rejection, To Improve?

[Chris2016]

Couple years ago I had an unrequited crush on a co-worker. It sucked!

 

But I lost weight and became fit, which was awesome!

 

I was then laid off, and the weight regained.

 

At my new job, I tried for an internal promotion, and got rejected.

I now want to better myself career-wise.

I should have been doing that sooner.

 

How do I stop waiting for rejection, to have a fire lit in me?

How do I stay motivated, hungry?

 

After some time, I lose the motivation and I'm back do doing the same thing, nothing.

[JEG88]

Is there anyone - friend, sibling, parent - that you can be accountable to? I found that that did wonders for me when I first got into the gym and took some classes in my field to improve my skills. I would do workouts and record them with my brother to track weight/fat loss, for example.

 

At some point though, you do need to wean off that and become internally motivated. But building the habit, then the lifestyle, needs to come first. You need that sort of "I want to do this for myself" moment.

[Cersei]

I lost a lot of weight myself and took progress pics along the way. I have a before / after side by side picture on my fridge to remind me where too many trips to the fridge can lead to. I have kept it off for just over a year so far.

 

I do agree that you have to accept/realize that this healthy lifestyle needs to become the normal. For your own good it's a permanent way of life, not a temporary weight loss thing. Find another outlet besides food when stressed or depressed, not food. Mineis walking with loud music.

 

It will always be a battle to keep the weight down, the struggle won't go away when you "get there". It's sad but true. Best of luck.

[d0nnivain]

You can do a few things.

 

First set some S.M.A.R.T. goals.

 

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Reasonable

Timebound

 

Search the internet for specifics about how to do this. But in your work case it might be something like by next year you want a promotion & a 10% salary increase. Now you break that down into steps to get you what you want.

 

You can do similar things with your weight issues. I recommend using an app on your phone to track your food consumption & measure your exercise.

 

Another tactic is to create a dream board with pictures of what your goals look like Hang it somewhere you see it often. It will motivate you.

[Foxhall]

take time to consider what are your real passions,

 

you talk about lighting the fire,

 

you need to find what are you good at, what brings you a sense of achievement, what do you like and what do you not like

 

the other thread I just looked at the guy details his enthusiasm for work brought on by training the hot girl beside him,

 

how long will that motivation last for him,

 

what will really ignite you, are you motivated by money, power, helping people, travel, fitness, health and so on

 

it is good you are starting to think like this at any rate, not settling for mediocrity.

[Chris2016]

Thanks for your responses. I think I need to get back to basics. SMART is a good reminder, and method.

 

When I lost weight, aside from the unrequited crush being a huge motivator, the basics were ...

 

I had a marathon training plan I followed--you don't even need to train for one, having the plan kept me running.

 

I joined free running and exercise clubs, which I found through facebook and meetup. I met people who were like minded.

 

I need to find another unrequited crush. They suck, but man do they work wonders! Kidding of course, cause when that's gone, back to square 1.

[Lonely67]

Having a crush is the worst.

 

I thought this young woman at the gym was watching me workout, because she was interested in me.

 

So i got it in my head, and when i was ready to talk to her, I realised from her avoiding me that she was only watching me exercise for the purposes of doing them better herself.

 

I developed a feeling for her clearly, and hurts like hell, that I got it wrong.