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Dating mentor/Overall life coach


Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being Start off with a great foundation! The place to ponder the journey towards improving yourself!

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Old 6th February 2019, 7:09 PM   #1
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Dating mentor/Overall life coach

I am looking for someone to help me overall with the goal of being better at dating. Ideally they could help me with things like self esteem, helping me improve my fashion, building a social circle, to actually approaching girls I like.

About me I am a 22 year old male. I am inexperienced with women, I have never had a girlfriend. I have hooked up with two girls off tinder. My goal would be to find a long term girlfriend.

Message me if you are willing to help, we could talk on telegram/skype/or whatever.
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Old 8th February 2019, 10:44 AM   #2
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You are in the wrong place. There are no Personal Dating Coaches here.

Go to YouTube, here's a list of Channels:
  1. Coach Corey Wayne
  2. Susan Winter
  3. DeAnna Lorraine
  4. FarFromAverage
  5. Introvert Dating Success (Harry Wilmington) Very similar to Corey Wayne but developed his ideas before he was familiar with Corey Wayne.
  6. Skill of Attraction (Erik Peterson) Same material as Corey Wayne but with a gentler delivery.
  7. Marni Your Personal WingGirl (Marni Kinris)
  8. Coach Red Pill, Not a dating coach but very sharp and highly intelligent on "Life".
For just the pickup skills:
(1st two are the same guy)
  1. Todd V Dating
  2. AskToddV
  3. Kezia Noble
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Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site by me are my opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice.

Last edited by PRW; 8th February 2019 at 10:59 AM..
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Old 8th February 2019, 11:04 AM   #3
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Self esteem is the purview of mental health not coaching.

You can get a decent life coach from lots of places. Do a search for local life coaches to help with relationships. Make sure the coach is certified by a governing body & vet the recommendations. I think you would be better off with somebody you can meet with in person. Understand that you get what you pay for & a good coach is not cheap. Expect to pay upwards of $400 for a month.

If that price tag is too steep do review the internet gurus previously suggested & consider reading some self help books from the library. There are tons of dating books out there. Do not follow any of this stuff like a recipe. Take grains of knowledge from each. Some will be basic like take a shower before your date; other info can be more profound. At ground all of these books will recommend that you be confident.
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Old 8th February 2019, 11:07 AM   #4
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For men's fashion:

YouTube Channel "AlphaM", mostly "fashon" related but has some dating material.
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Old 8th February 2019, 11:23 AM   #5
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We can't send you private messages yet because you are a new user, however all you need to know is contained in two books:

Corey Wayne's 3% man (available for free with email registration on his website)

and

Mars and Venus on a Date, available for cheap on amazon.com.

These two books will blow your mind. You will have to post more before any of us can PM you.
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Old 8th February 2019, 11:31 AM   #6
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The summary of thousands of hours and thousands of dollars of dating advice is contained here:

I think the most helpful first step is to work on your social skills like you have never before worked on anything in your life - devote yourself to it like a religion. Most men who don't practice dating since they were 13 have some degree of what you are troubled with. Then, go through the 6 step Garcon process:

1. Step one - portray yourself at all times in the most well dressed, fashionable man you can be. Ask your salon's advice on what is the most physically attractive haircut that will go with your head. Use gel if needed. Physical attraction cuts both ways. You may be able to attract a hot girl, but you must accept that certain hot girls will never date you no matter what redeeming qualities you have because you are NOT THEIR TYPE.

2. Step two - portray yourself socially amongst women as a relaxed and easygoing man, who is willing to have a fun conversation. You must beat the stereotype that you are shy, and can only have certain kinds of conversation, regardless of the fact that women unfairly apply the stereotype through no fault of yours.

3. Step three - surround yourself with hobbies that you enjoy, which women simultaneously enjoy.

4. Step four - spend at least 1 month of solidly talking to a different woman every day, and get over the "stagefright" of approaching a woman you like. You should also spend time getting friendly with women, solely for the friendship, without worrying about fighting the friendzone. The idea behind doing this is to be comfortable in your own skin around attractive women. Failing to do this step proficiently will result in you losing your opportunity once a spectacular woman comes your way, because you will be rejected for being weird. If you are a consumer of porn, it needs to stop right now. It will be like trying to come off heroin - but if you choose to continue porn, a real relationship will be like trying to taste Italian spice after eating tacos with spicy red hot sauce - like an effing candle compared to a blowtorch. You will have such distorted views of women that dating will be meaningless. Why chase sex if you can masturbate and get your brain sex hit at home? No point in dating if you masturbate.


At this point, you stop and pause for a moment - you are about to jump into dating. If you were not totally comfortable in stage 4, you need to spend an additional month doing it until you are comfortable. Secondly - women will operate in the dating scene based upon what feels right - not based upon what logically is correct or what a man's internal rubric says they should do. Women will do irrational things to you based upon what feels right or wrong at the time, it's a fact of life.

5. Step five - take notes on women around you who show you indicators of interest (playing with their hair around you, a sustained smile, sustained eye contact, asking to be with you, etc etc). Focus initially on the women who like you, and now ask a few of them out on a date. If that particular woman likes you a lot, go ahead, be a man, and kiss her on the way home. Focus on the difference between an interview, a date, normal conversation, and flirting conversation. Focus on the fact that you are getting experience. Don't go for your favorite spectacular woman just yet. Take a step back, smell the roses, and congratulate yourself on some good dating experiences at this point. If you have sex, wonderful. Mentally step back and take in the experience.

6. Step six - now go ask out your favorite woman and see how it goes. If it fails, rinse, repeat, try again. Never fail in your determination, and try not to get too depressed from rejection. It happens to everybody - keep your head up and use Loveshack as a sounding board. Everyone gets rejected, it's a part of life. The winners are people who are willing to try just a little harder than the losers.


That's the summary of thousands of dating coaches advice. That's really all there is to it. Hot guys have it easier because women's defenses are lowered, they have lots of charm, and less hoops need to be jumped. But for everybody else - we follow steps 1-6.
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Old 9th February 2019, 11:46 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garcon1986 View Post
The summary of thousands of hours and thousands of dollars of dating advice is contained here:

I think the most helpful first step is to work on your social skills like you have never before worked on anything in your life - devote yourself to it like a religion. Most men who don't practice dating since they were 13 have some degree of what you are troubled with. Then, go through the 6 step Garcon process<snip>
Mostly agree, but would add a caveat.

Based on what I can tell from your posts we have a similar educational and professional background, but as someone with a few years on you, experience tells me that setting yourself up for success is a good policy.

Many men who need to follow the steps laid out above have quiet social lives in general and not just in regards to dating. For the above to succeed, a man also needs to be seen as someone who is socially engaged. A lone wolf following these rules is in for more frustration. And that's the tough part; if you have trouble making friends in the first place then this is unlikely to help much. Every piece of recent research that I've read indicates that women will feed off seeing a man who is engaged with his peers. A guy with few friends is going to have difficulty getting himself in position to follow some of the steps, and even if he does it to the letter the results are not likely to follow unless he's very good looking or wealthy (in which case he probably never had much difficulty creating opportunities with women in the first place).

The importance of social engagement in general can't be understated. Your friends are effectively similar to your job references for this situation. No references or sketchy references, no job.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 9th February 2019 at 11:53 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
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Old 10th February 2019, 12:10 AM   #8
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Well said Eugeleh, however I'm in the deep South where there is strong dating racism against Asians no matter what redeeming characteristics I have. I'm simultaneously seeking out new social groups as well as doing lone wolf dating because the custom around here is to refer dates amongst friends, and I'm on the outside looking in. It's my only hope - so I'm going to try and work on my social front as much as I can. I think the local women are plenty beautiful for me but they couldn't care less if I exist.
Hence - work on your social circles everybody!
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Old 10th February 2019, 12:48 AM   #9
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It must be frustrating to feel like an outsider when in most places you would fit in relatively seamlessly. Hopefully you'll move on to practice somewhere more diverse when your fellowship is done. Sounds as though you have the skills for eventual success.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 10th February 2019 at 1:02 AM.. Reason: Redact quote of prior post
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Old 11th February 2019, 10:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eugeleh View Post
Your friends are effectively similar to your job references for this situation. No references or sketchy references, no job.
Yea, I sometimes compare it to a job. Even in breakups I say that trying to contact your Ex to convince her to take you back is comparable to calling the ex-boss twice a day for a month trying to get the business to rehire you.

It is also compatible to the work you have to put into it to begin with. People spend huge amounts of money and spend years on education to get a job, that later they may not like or even want to stay at. But yet they want to find the love of their life, a potentially life changing event, by "winging it" and maybe picking up a few PUA tips.
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