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Live alone or stay with mom * Update* mom kicked me out


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Old 9th March 2019, 8:25 AM   #31
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Maybe a cat?

They require less daily attention than a dog (no need for walks) but can provide companionship.
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Old 9th March 2019, 10:17 AM   #32
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Cats are wonderful low maintenance pets


There is nothing better than going home to my house where I live alone. It's the highlight of my day.
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Old 9th March 2019, 4:28 PM   #33
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Maybe a cat?

They require less daily attention than a dog (no need for walks) but can provide companionship.
surely you jest about the companionship part wallybears. my cat provides as much companionship as a piece of toast
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Old 9th March 2019, 4:29 PM   #34
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My rent will be 200 a month more than mom's house rent. Money will be tighter but I can afford it. I'm mostly worried about living alone. As I get closer to moving it's dawning on me after work I will go home to an small empty apartment. I currently come home to a big house, mom, a dog. It's a big difference.

My therapist, psychiatrist, and case manager are all for me moving out. Mom isn't and I'm concerned. Tips? Thoughts?
just move out and visit your mom a lot?
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Old 9th March 2019, 4:33 PM   #35
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Allergic to cats. But now thinking I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth. My mom is begging me to stay. It's pretty comfortable here. Thinking of being alone in that apartment made me cry.
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Old 9th March 2019, 4:35 PM   #36
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Allergic to cats. But now thinking I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth. My mom is begging me to stay. It's pretty comfortable here. Thinking of being alone in that apartment made me cry.
it might be worthwile staying if you set some new ground rules with your mother
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Old 9th March 2019, 4:37 PM   #37
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It's time for the old pros & cons list:

Make a list of all the good reasons to move & all the downsides.

Make another list of the good reasons to stay with mom & the reasons to move out.

When you see it on paper you may be closer to your answer.
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Old 9th March 2019, 7:54 PM   #38
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I made one before I saw the place and knew the details. That said move, but I did a move one today and got a different result.

I've used another technique and lived my decision. As best as you can. I was living the move and becoming more stressed, more anxious. I even cried at the idea of being left on my own in that small apartment as my family relocates to Florida. When today I told her I was staying release, happy, etc. I need my families support whether I like it or not.
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Old 10th March 2019, 11:34 AM   #39
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Just did the pros and cons list again. Cons win for moving by lots, and cons win by 1 for staying. Next step is rating them. Still thinking it through though. Have to use something else, time to pull out my dbt book.
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Old 11th March 2019, 6:11 PM   #40
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My group today helped me work through some issues with moving, and my life goals. So I'm back to moving out, as hard as it is. Also got some good coping with being alone tips. Got my move in date as April 12th. So I have until than to waffle back and forth. I've told everyone but my family that date. I can't deal with them right now. Some stuff is already packed away, the main stuff I use isn't and few odd and ends. I'd start now but that will cause a ruckus.
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Old 11th March 2019, 6:24 PM   #41
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I'd start now but that will cause a ruckus.
when the time comes to tell them just create a big argument and storm out in a huff. tell them all to go to hell cause you're movin' on up to that de-luxe apartment in the sky....go out with a bang. hopefully you'll have most of your **** packed and ready to go. you can come back for whatever is left
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Old 13th March 2019, 11:04 AM   #42
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Now mom says if I stay she'll let me inherit the house we move to. I'm going to ask her to put my name on it because that really appeals to me. For that I'd stay.
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Old 13th March 2019, 11:09 AM   #43
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So mom is dangling a carrot in front of you to make you do what she wants.

How does it feel to be her pet?? Controlled??
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Old 13th March 2019, 11:25 AM   #44
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Now mom says if I stay she'll let me inherit the house we move to. I'm going to ask her to put my name on it because that really appeals to me. For that I'd stay.
tell her you'll stay but lay down additional ground rules, also have a lawyer draw up the papers for the house
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Old 13th March 2019, 10:10 PM   #45
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If she truly wanted to offer you the home (upon her death) she would have written a will and put it in writing, prior to you qualifying for the new apartment.

Don't you want to spread your wings and fly, Peter Pan??

There is so much life to live, things to see, adventures to go on, all of it starts with being independent and leaving home.
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